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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke DHs glasses

325 replies

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:10

I live in a family of gog botherers, both of my sons and DH but I’m not although should be but I never went back.
Anyway DH is fiercely protective of his and if you go anywhere near them or touch them he panics and flaps. Last night he’d left them on the bedside table. I went to bed, was very tired and didn’t feel well and put the iPad on the bedside table in the dark on top of the glasses forgetting they were there. We both went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep so reached for the iPad, dragged it off the table and smeared his glasses. This morning they were all bent and he’s gone ape shit. I mean, proper meltdown, panicking, ignoring me as he was too flustered and ended up late for work.

AIBU to think this obsession is too much?? Or is it because I don’t wear them that I don’t get it?

OP posts:
Worldshohohokayestmum · 01/03/2019 12:27

I can't see anything without my glasses, not wearing them for even a few minutes makes me feel extremely vulnerable. I would be obsessive about mine if I lived with someone with such an odd and careless attitude to what is an absolute necessity to me

adaline · 01/03/2019 12:27

Your sensory issues have nothing to do with DH's need to wear glasses!

If mine broke I wouldn't be able to work - even if someone drove me in I still wouldn't be able to see well enough to use a computer all day. It would take at least a week for a replacement so I would be furious if someone broke them and didn't seem to give a shit about it.

However because of the above I keep mine in a case and in my bedside drawers overnight - they're on my face the rest of the time! If I'd left them somewhere stupid and they were damaged it would be partly my own fault.

Lweji · 01/03/2019 12:30

The OP could see well to drive (long distances) but not around the home (shorter distances).

In addition to what some people have said, how do you put a tablet on top of some glasses and don't feel that it's not sitting properly? Surely you'd feel it was on top of something. It's not like a book of similar size.

easyandy101 · 01/03/2019 12:30

If someone broke my glasses by accident then if be annoyed cos I'd need to get new ones but shit happens, it's not like you did it deliberately

Wigging out about it is excessive

Alloftheboys · 01/03/2019 12:31

Well aren’t you sympathetic?
Do you have a funny name for wheelchair users?
How about people who have slurred speech?
People with one leg? Hilarious

Rezie · 01/03/2019 12:31

My glasses cost £380 and they are from a basic high street retailer so nothing fancy. Even "cheap" ones would cost about £200. Adding then the cost of check ups and contact lenses etc. So yes I'm protective of my glasses and I'm not obsessive over them. But I'm not sure if it go apeshit over an accident, on the other hand we might have a different definition on what that means. Does he have insurance? Does your house insurance cover them?

strawberrypenguin · 01/03/2019 12:34

It's not an obsession. Glasses are not worn for fun are they? How would you like it if someone damaged your eyesight. And wtf is with the name calling you sound about 12.

I don't wear them myself but my son has terrible eyesight and really can't see well without his glasses. I'd be cross if his were damaged in the way you describe too. They are literally an extension of his eyes.

Sallyspoons · 01/03/2019 12:42

My eyesight was -9 &-10 I had laser surgery 14 years ago and believe me I would have panicked without my jamjars. I still wear glasses to drive as they have deteriorated at -1 and -1.75, I’m still protective of my glasses.

PlinkPlink · 01/03/2019 12:45

Oh dear. This is why spares are necessary. Always keep old glasses.

I would be practically blind without some sort of aid. Luckily I had lenses because I can't stand glasses. I'm short sighted so my eyes look extra small with glasses on.

Me and OH joke about me having beady eyes 😂

I can't imagine what I'd do if my glasses or lenses were buggered... probably not go ape shit though... how's that going to help the situation? 🤔

BusterGonad · 01/03/2019 12:46

You sound like such a twat Op! Imagine breaking someone's glasses, which imo are really important and then moaning about it! Wtf

Wallsbangers · 01/03/2019 12:47

Did you think we'd all agree with you?! And I do hope you don't use those sort of terms to and around your kids.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/03/2019 12:52

Please stop driving until you've had an eye test and if you need glasses but really can't stand wearing them you need to give up driving for good or until you've had laser surgery. Don't be so bloody selfish.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 01/03/2019 12:53

@howwillwedeal maybe, but the OP mentioned an iPad so I am guessing they are not poverty stricken. Spare glasses to me take priority over gadgets 🤷‍♀️

SilverySurfer · 01/03/2019 12:55

You seriously don't get why your DH was unhappy? Could it just possibly be that he can't see without them? Normally a person would be apologising for breaking someone's glasses but that doesn't seem to have occurred to you. Perhaps your DH should partially blindfold you and push you out the front door to see how you get on?

There's no helping the hard of thinking.

howwillwedeal · 01/03/2019 12:57

@MaybeitsMaybelline but it's OPs ipad and DHs glasses, they may have separate finances!

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 13:08

Your DH is being a twat. If (like me) he literally can’t see / can’t function without his glasses then:

  1. When they aren’t on his face they should be safely in a case
  2. He shouldn’t haven’t left them on your bedside table where they could easily be knocked / squashed / damaged
  3. He should keep a spare or old pair in a safe place.

At the end of the day you broke them BY ACCIDENT and that accident was materially contributed to by him being careless with his glasses when it’s actually his responsibility to keep them safe and be sensible about them. He isn’t being fair, and his reaction is totally OTT.

I think ‘gog botherers’ is mean though, and probably why the majority of posters are giving you a hard time instead of recognising that your husband has been a bit of a melt.

PrincessButtockUp · 01/03/2019 13:14

My vision is sufficiently bad that I always carry a spare pair of glasses (and oh boy are they eye-wateringly expensive) because when a pair broke at work I would not have been able to work or drive without that spare pair. Even so, I would not be relaxed about anyone bending my main pair. They are finely tuned to my face by an expert and any twisting motion can damage them, easily beyond repair.

Despite sensory sensitivities I have had to get over it and wear them in order to function.

You are being very unreasonable. Grow up, own up, and accept that you were at fault here.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2019 13:15

At the end of the day you broke them BY ACCIDENT and that accident was materially contributed to by him being careless with his glasses when it’s actually his responsibility to keep them safe and be sensible about them.

No, at the end of the day she broke them because she wasn't being careful.

Ohtherewearethen · 01/03/2019 13:17

I'm really not sure what you were looking for here, OP. You temporarily took away your husband's ability to SEE and you think he was unreasonable to be pissed off? Your OP is quite flippant as though you believe you haven't actually done anything wrong. Instead of responding to PP that you now realise how important it is to daily life to be able to see if that's what you're used to, you just respond with comments about you having to wear big clothes. You REALLY don't get it do you?

Ellisandra · 01/03/2019 13:20

You offered to drive him to work?!

You really don’t get it.

I actually couldn’t work, full stop, without mine!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 01/03/2019 13:20

I wear contact lenses most of the time, but am virtually blind without either them or my glasses. Even though I only wear my glasses at home and got a cheap pair, they were still £300. I would be furious if DP broke them.

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 13:24

No, at the end of the day she broke them because she wasn't being careful

Surely it was her DH who wasn’t careful since he left his glasses in a vulnerable place?

My DH once smashed a beloved antique tea cup of mine because I set it down on the wide arm of the sofa, and then later on he sat down and sent it flying with his elbow. Didn’t occur to me to blame him, because I was the one who had been careless with something that was important to me.

burritofan · 01/03/2019 13:27

Glasses on a nightstand isn't a vulnerable place! It's bog-standard.

goodwinter · 01/03/2019 13:29

I would imagine "gog botherer" is like God botherer but with "gogs", i.e. "goggles" i.e. glasses.

And "pin toon" is an autocorrect of function?

User10727292 · 01/03/2019 13:34

Glasses on a nightstand isn't a vulnerable place! It's bog-standard.

Whaaaaat? Are people really ok with being this blase about something as important as glasses?!

For a start it wasn’t his nightstand, it was OP’s, and since she doesn’t wear glasses she wouldn’t be in the habit of watching out for them / expecting them to be there.

Secondly, why weren’t they in a case? I have a case that never leaves my nightstand (and one in my bag, one in the bathroom, one in the car...). If my glasses aren’t on my face I put them in the case because they cost hundreds of pounds and I need them to function. They are so easily damaged, why would you be so happy to risk that?

Seriously, are there honestly people out there who absolutely rely on their glasses but are still willing to just leave them lying around? And who think it isn’t their responsibility if something then happens to them?