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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I broke DHs glasses

325 replies

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:10

I live in a family of gog botherers, both of my sons and DH but I’m not although should be but I never went back.
Anyway DH is fiercely protective of his and if you go anywhere near them or touch them he panics and flaps. Last night he’d left them on the bedside table. I went to bed, was very tired and didn’t feel well and put the iPad on the bedside table in the dark on top of the glasses forgetting they were there. We both went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep so reached for the iPad, dragged it off the table and smeared his glasses. This morning they were all bent and he’s gone ape shit. I mean, proper meltdown, panicking, ignoring me as he was too flustered and ended up late for work.

AIBU to think this obsession is too much?? Or is it because I don’t wear them that I don’t get it?

OP posts:
Chouetted · 01/03/2019 14:50

@fiveredbricks Clumsy is another way of saying lazy Op. If you think about what you're doing you stop being clumsy most of the time.

I'm sorry, it's what???

trulybadlydeeply · 01/03/2019 14:51

I'm not sure what smeared means, so I can't really tell how damaged they actually are, but in your situation I think I would be on the phone to the opticians immediately, and ordering a new pair. IME glasses usually take a few days at most, but appreciate that it may be a complex prescription. It will also depend on whether they can reorder the same frame.

Regardless - replace his glasses, and then he can get the others fixed and he will have a spare pair.

I would also look at getting a second bedside table of some description, then you both have somewhere for your things. With just one it must involve a lot of reaching over??

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 01/03/2019 14:55

Wow I'd be furious as although I can function without them (but I get tired and headachy) I can't just put on any pair of frames, it takes ages to get a pair that are comfortable and adjusted properly. Its such a hassle.

RB68 · 01/03/2019 14:55

Glasses are generally fixable, what were they doing on your side of the bed anyway

I am a lifelong glasses wearer and also not legal for driving without them but also wouldn't be able to see screens at work etc without.

You are unreasonable to be so flippant, BUT he is unreasonable to leave them laying about and react the way he did - its not like you did it on purpose or with intent.

Mostly even if twisted they can be fixed at the opticians at no real cost, new ones ordered if necessary etc. You should always try and keep last prescription ones as they will usually be near enough in prescription to keep you legal for driving etc. I always try and actually keep mine in the car itself

Omzlas · 01/03/2019 15:10

I see the OP hasn't been back after having her arse handed to her......

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 01/03/2019 15:26

Looking at the OP’s previous threads I’m concerned about the whole family...

goldengummybear · 01/03/2019 15:35

Just read about how she felt guilty about accidentally standing on the dog but not for ruining her h's glasses. Hmmm

goldengummybear · 01/03/2019 15:56

I'm not sure what smeared means I assumed fingerprints (or other stain) on the lenses which is annoying but easily rectified.

If the bed is against the wall, there may only be one bedside table and glasses belong there more than an iPad. If husband left them on sofa and OP sat on them then she'd be totally blameless but bedside tables are where people who need glasses would reasonably put them. In the middle of the night you'd need glasses before you got out of bed etc

Did the glasses fly off the table and ricochet off the wall or something? Hard to imagine how they got so mangled.

littlemeitslyn · 01/03/2019 18:14

What is a gog botherer ?

Topseyt · 01/03/2019 18:35

Littleme, it is the OP's derogatory term for those of us who have less than perfect eyesight and have to wear glasses, which she sneers at because they are apparently an unreasonable obsession.

Nothinglefttochoose · 01/03/2019 18:51

If his eyes are thT bad he should have a back up pair. Mistakes happen, you apologised, why go ape shit? It’s so unnecessary

ScreamingValenta · 01/03/2019 18:57

I can walk around the house without mine, but I'm useless anywhere I don't know, and I can't use a computer etc. without them because I can only see clearly a few inches in front of my face.

My suggestion would be for him to get a spare pair to avoid this in future. If you're on a budget, this could just be a very cheap 'get you home' pair from one of the online opticians which would do while he got his main pair mended. I've got several cheap spare pairs from Glasses Direct and found them very good.

onthenaughtystepagain · 01/03/2019 18:58

What is a gog botherer?

I assumed it to be a typo and should have been 'god botherer', we were going to read about a hyper-religious husband! Specs made it very disappointing.

MitziK · 01/03/2019 19:05

I have a medium prescription for short sightedness, so I can get relatively cheap glasses online. We've each got around five pairs - one on, one in the bedroom, one in each bathroom and a pair downstairs at all times.

If my glasses end up on the bedroom floor (normally because, without my glasses on, it's hard to see the bedside cabinet), I cannot see them to pick them up. I have to get on my hands and knees and feel for them like Velma in Scooby Doo

I would be unable to make a cup of tea without pouring boiling water all over the countertop/myself, I wouldn't be able to use a computer and wouldn't recognise my DP until he touched me and spoke. If I went outside, I'd probably fall over the garden wall, as I can't see the path. Which would be handy, as at least I wouldn't be crashing into passers by or squished by a car within the first five minutes.

The only time I am able to do anything without my glasses is in the pitch black - then, I can move around fairly easily because I'm not being distracted or confused by movement, light and blurs and am relying upon touch and sound. Which you can't do during the daytime.

Effectively, I am completely blind without glasses. I certainly wouldn't see a car coming and would have to rely upon the driver not being an utter prick who thinks their wish to drive and not wear glasses outweighs my right not to be killed by them being able to see me and stop when I inevitably fall over the first bump on the pavement/off the kerb because I can't see where it is.

I'd have to stay indoors, not cook, not drink, not do anything if I only had one pair and they were unwearable. For my own safety.

I think that the reason you are so 'clumsy' is that you can't fucking see. And your DP is quite justified in being pissed off (I wouldn't get into a car with a twat who needed glasses, either).

ScreamingValenta · 01/03/2019 19:13

We've each got around five pairs - one on, one in the bedroom, one in each bathroom and a pair downstairs at all times.

That's what I do, and I also recommend it, having had the can't find my glasses when I'm not wearing my glasses problem before. If he can only afford one spare pair, have a designated place for them so they're easy to lay hands on.

Loftyswops988 · 01/03/2019 19:15

May be far fetched but i don't get the impression that you damaging them was all that much of an accident. You don't seem sorry. If i knew someone was precious about their glasses I would be super extra careful and extra sorry for damaging them!

My lenses are so expensive and the lenses and if someone broke my glasses I would be devastated. I have photosensitive epilepsy and my lenses are tinted in a way that reduces the likelihood of being triggered. So I also would be quite 'obsessed' over not damaging them

ScreamingValenta · 01/03/2019 19:16

... keeping the pair from your previous prescription as a spare is also an option - they might not be sufficient for driving, but they're usually OK for not bumping into things in the short term.

goldengummybear · 01/03/2019 19:26

What is a gog botherer ?

Gog is apparently short for goggles. I think she means specs wearer but the botherer bit is fucking rude and totally ironic since she's supposed to wear glasses or lenses.

goldengummybear · 01/03/2019 19:27

I think that the reason you are so 'clumsy' is that you can't fucking see.

Never thought of that but explains a lot.

Thebookswereherfriends · 01/03/2019 19:34

If you need to wear glasses it’s incredibly annoying to break a pair as they’re expensive and you will have to rely on your spare pair whilst waiting for new ones.
When I was at secondary school a girl who was always hassling me walked past me and flipped my glassses off my face, I (an extremely shy and timid girl) went nuts, punched her and pushed her out of my way before snatching my glasses up and telling her she was a total bitch! I understand your husband’s distress.

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 21:00

They’re fixed. No further concern necessary

OP posts:
youknowmedontyou · 01/03/2019 21:13

Were they ever broken?

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 21:29

No just bent out of shape

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 01/03/2019 21:32

I need my gogs to drive I keep them in the car I'm so clumsy I would break them in the house

Quartz2208 · 01/03/2019 21:33

Professionally fixed? Bent out of shape changes things and unless fitted properly could cause issues