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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke DHs glasses

325 replies

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:10

I live in a family of gog botherers, both of my sons and DH but I’m not although should be but I never went back.
Anyway DH is fiercely protective of his and if you go anywhere near them or touch them he panics and flaps. Last night he’d left them on the bedside table. I went to bed, was very tired and didn’t feel well and put the iPad on the bedside table in the dark on top of the glasses forgetting they were there. We both went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up, couldn’t get back to sleep so reached for the iPad, dragged it off the table and smeared his glasses. This morning they were all bent and he’s gone ape shit. I mean, proper meltdown, panicking, ignoring me as he was too flustered and ended up late for work.

AIBU to think this obsession is too much?? Or is it because I don’t wear them that I don’t get it?

OP posts:
Original poster
LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 10:57

They’re not unfixable, just bent

OP posts:
NopeNi · 01/03/2019 10:57

What is your problem OP? You effectively blinded someone and wonder why they reacted in a panic?

I agree you sound fucking nasty and immature. Grow up.

IIIIIIII · 01/03/2019 10:58

When was the last time you had an eye test? Passing a test 17 years agon without glasses means nothing.

FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2019 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

llangennith · 01/03/2019 10:58

Most chains of Opticians offer a second pair free or discounted price. Make sure your DH has a spare pair.

Your DH needs to get into the habit of putting his glasses into their hard case when he takes them off. Particularly when you are so careless about other people's belongings. You sound completely insensitive and self-obsessed.

DishingOutDone · 01/03/2019 10:59

Surely you can understand how important that is?

I think this is what's the most confusing thing of all. I can't abide my H hoping to split, but if his glasses were damaged or broken then our household becomes very difficult to run because he cant even come downstairs without them, and we have no savings so we'd have to replace them on a credit card, as its a high prescription even a cheap pair would be around £200. I would have to literally do everything for him whilst we were waiting for a replacement.

Other posters appear to be in similar situations. So how on earth is this funny? How is it OK because you've always been clumsy? Of course you didn't mean to do it, but surely anyone could understand this is not a laughing matter? Wont the repair or replacement come out of your family budget or are you so well off that won't matter?

NopeNi · 01/03/2019 10:59

I just can't believe you'd do that to someone, especially someone you love, then come here to get people to complain about him.

(Assuming there's no epic drip feed of him beating you up daily or something.)

Missnearlyvintage · 01/03/2019 10:59

My DH wears glasses and needs them to do everything really.

He is very protective of his, they cost quite a lot of money and his spare pair are not nearly as comfortable for him to wear all day and the lenses aren't as good quality. It would be an absolute last resort for him to have to wear his spare pair really.

Dh only leaves his glasses in a few places, and the rest of the family know where they are and are very careful not to accidentally move them etc. when they are stored in these places.

If your DH has put his glasses somewhere that they don't usually go and you have accidentally broken them because of this then I can see that you might also be a bit frustrated. But really I think the upset your DH is feeling is probably more important at this point, as well as getting the glasses fixed.

TBH when he gets home from work he might have calmed down. If it were me I would be preparing an apology for when he gets home, and thinking of ways that you ways you could stop this from happening again to suggest to him - specific place for him to keep his glasses/ always when in a case when he's not wearing them etc.

OftenHangry · 01/03/2019 10:59

If they are bent, just take them to a shop today and have them repaired. Instead of making a drama about it on here. That's what any caring spouse would do imho

howwillwedeal · 01/03/2019 10:59

@LellowYedbetter get over your sensory issue obsession, get an eye test for driving and stop driving if you fail it.

Original poster
LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 11:00

I accept it’s my fault! I get it. However as I’ve already said, DH does have names for my issues!!
Billy no mates
Isolation Peach
The untouchable
Nurse Rachet

There are loads! I find them funny but I accept everyone is different

OP posts:
Lweji · 01/03/2019 11:00

I can't quite get it: were the glasses broken, bent or smeared? Hmm

You should also understand that while it may be ok for your OH to describe himself as a "gog botherer", it's really not appropriate for you to use it in a public forum to talk about him.

And YABU to call it "obsession" if he needs his glasses to function properly and work.

I was without mine for one day at work and made sure I got some cheap emergency ones to carry in my purse at all times because it wasn't a good experience.

RiverTam · 01/03/2019 11:00

my second pair are my sunglasses and they were (due to my prescription) still expensive. I can't afford to have a second actual everyday pair of glasses. Luckily I don't live with the OP.

I also think that no-one can afford to have people like the OP driving around with such a cavalier and selfish attitude to the safety of others.

LoudBatPerson · 01/03/2019 11:01

About 17 years ago. I should really make another appointment I suppose but I can’t wear glasses and certainly wouldn’t be able to stick something in my eye. Might have to look up lazer eye surgery

I would get them tested again as soon as possible, if nothing else than to check you are actually still safe to drive.

If your eyes do not now meet the requirements you have to choose to have surgery (if you can't do glasses or contacts) or give up driving.

Better to find out now than during a random test at the side of the road (which the police have started doing in my area).

howwillwedeal · 01/03/2019 11:02

It sounds like you and your OH are the perfect match! Hmm

TimeIhadaNameChange · 01/03/2019 11:03

Mine occassionally fall down the side of my bed, and I hate it if I can't then find them in the morning. Not quite panic, but I can get close if I can't find them within a minute or two, so I fully understand how your DH feels.

And they may be 'just bent', but surely you can appreciate that they won't go back to the way they were, not completely, and thus they'll always feel slightly odd from now on? I don't have sensory issues, but if the arms of mine are slightly odd it feels so odd. Plus, the visuals will be out of alignement too.

TwinkleTits70 · 01/03/2019 11:04

Mine cost more than £300 and would take a week to replace. I would not be able to go to work in that time (plus it would have to be taken as unpaid leave or annual leave). I get that accidents happen, but I'd be extremely pissed off with your 'oh well' attitude.

Arnoldthecat · 01/03/2019 11:04

I also need specs though i also use CLs when it suits me. When i get a new pair of specs i always vow to put them in the case when not in use. Several months downline i start to slip and dont use the case so much. I dont think people who dont wear specs realise how it is when you cant see properly. Equally, he sould really be using the case..what can you do?? get them repaired/get a new pair/move on///

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2019 11:07

Like a pp I also think he’s staunchly protective of his glasses as he needs them and you are clumsy.

You say you have sensory issues and clothes have to be baggy. How would you feel if your entire wardrobe shrunk in the wash and you had to spend all day in those clothes for the next 3 weeks?

That’s how your dh is feeling. Except on top of this, he can’t drive anywhere or see properly and needs to go to work to earn an income. So no, not a minor inconvenience.

floribunda18 · 01/03/2019 11:08

He is NBU in being cross, but he should be mainly cross at himself for leaving them out of their case on the bedside table.

MammaMia19 · 01/03/2019 11:10

So you have sensory issues but you can't grasp how bent glasses would be upsetting?!
Being able to see is not an obsession either

AfterSchoolWorry · 01/03/2019 11:11

Do you mean God botherer?

Sirzy · 01/03/2019 11:15

17 years is a very long time! My prescription from when I passed my test would in no way make me safe to drive today

Lwmommy · 01/03/2019 11:19

Here you go use this to see what your DH sees without his glasses.and decide.whether you would be protective of your glasses.

My prescription is -5.75 and i cannot leave the house without my glasses on, i can't make out people faces and can only read if the book/paper/sign is within about 10cm of my eyes

www.opticalexpress.co.uk/laser-eye-surgery/eyesight-simulator

dworky · 01/03/2019 11:20

It's not about price, the 'obsession' as you call it is absolutely valid.

Imagine you couldn't walk without a crutch & someone kept moving it.

Not being able to see clearly is a major disadvantage which tends to go unrecognised because glasses are so readily available.
Some people are fundamentally disabled without their glasses.

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