Standard MN replies...

[STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP]

-Wow. You've got too much time on your hands if that's all you've got to worry about.

-LTB

• You sound like hard work

• You're over reacting [about absolutely anything].

• wow. Just wow.

-this has been done before (as will this thread have been).

Anymore standard replies?
I see at least one on every single thread.
It's as though there has to be a Standard Arsehold reply.

Any others?

get a sling.

Yes, because a sling is the miracle solution to all PND/sleep deprived/colic-reflux suffering non strop crying baby/ horrendous in-laws/ shitty neighbours. FFS.

On the threat to cancel a birthday party, made in a moment of anger, here are some standard replies:
Poster 1: I don't punish.
Poster 2: They must understand that if they behave badly, there will be consequences. (Huge MN word)
Poster 3: You made the threat, you must follow through, or you'll lose all authority, they'll never take you seriously again.
Poster 4: If you cancel their birthday party, they will remember this for ever, and resent you for it.
Poster 5: Read "How to talk so kids will listen". (It sounds good!)

You really don't like him/her, do you

One particular word, wait for it...

It's so....

CRASS!!!!!!!

Has anyone else noticed how often it's used on MN?

Oh the holier than thou parents

Convinced they have lost all control of their children and their home is a screaming shouting mess

Yet Meanwhile on the Internet

"There are consequences in this house and my children are always immaculately behaved"

"My six year old is always in trouble for hitting his classmates. No SN, tried everything. What should I do?"

P1 - He's SIX
P2 - Get down to his level and say 'We don't hit'
P3 - Lovebomb him

Put your tin hat on, OP

Hey OP, how are things today?

Haven’t you RTFT? (Ironically I haven’t -did get up to page 6 though, and will return as I’m enjoying immensely! )

Hoppityfrog

Username

If about husband behaving like a dickhead 'Is he depressed?'

My unemployed dh sits on the sofa picking his nose whilst I do 100% of the childcare, household chores as well as working a 70 hour week to pay our bills and mortgage.

AIBU to expect him to pull his weight a bit more?

Is this a stealth boast?

Handing you a grip, OP

Dog whistle politics

Bugger someone beat me to

Come on we need a diagram!

Just fuck off

What about "you'd be better off using paragraphs I couldn't understand that AT ALL"

"I think you meant advice not advise"

Fucking tools

You should read Lundy Bancroft, and get yourself on the Freedom Programme. The stock answer to pretty much every relationship scenario these days.

I’m over on the baby name threads quite a bit and there’s a poster who must think they’re soooooooo hilarious - they pop up on every thread with their comedy.

OP: looking for a name for my baby girl, will be a sibling to Jonah and Stacey

Poster: mona, rhona, Iona, Sharona, Tracy, Lacey, Macey, Casey, Gracie

Well aren't you just delightful!

Utter, utter [anything]

Haven't RTFT

Virtual finger wagging - as in, I wouldn't be doing x, y...

DFOD

I used crass very recently on here, buts its the only time I've ever seen it used on MN

Never fails to bring lovely warm humanity type feeling when someone declares ive found my people - it was raised further ^thread as an annoying thing but I love coming across it

I also find it so funny that predictable responses do actually happen! It's been mentioned a few times already, but this one particularly...
Book a spa day!

Some MNers actually do say this and it never fails to amuse me!

Bloody repeat posters!

• they even have their own board for flouncing!!! Hilarious

There's one poster who, on any thread that's along the lines of "tell me about a time when someone was a cheeky fucker" replies to every other post saying "Seriously why do you all put up with this? Tell them to piss off! Stand up for yourself don't be so weak".

If they weren't so weak then who would give us the CF stories to enjoy in the first place but seriously not everyone is confident enough to do those things

Gunpowder I almost posted earlier that if every woman in the uk had honesty, assertiveness and freedom programme type relationship education mn would quickly become obsolete!

Assertiveness comes with confidence which tends to come with age. Plus everyone's different.

I'm bluntly honest by nature to the point I physically visibly react if I try and tell a big lie, I'm also not great at thinking before I react. I've learnt over the years to be more diplomatic (for survival if nothing else!)

But everyone's different. Mn would be boring if everyone was great at "life"