Standard MN replies...

[STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP]

-Wow. You've got too much time on your hands if that's all you've got to worry about.

-LTB

• You sound like hard work

• You're over reacting [about absolutely anything].

• wow. Just wow.

-this has been done before (as will this thread have been).

Anymore standard replies?
I see at least one on every single thread.
It's as though there has to be a Standard Arsehold reply.

Any others?

Why not just put it in the garage/utility room/loft extension

Ah yes the

"Have you not got a spare bedroom OP?"

I had that reply, word for word once. Most people were as as me about it but some couldn't understand why I had that reaction.

"Yes darling. In the west wing."

For fuck sake.

I only wash my sheets once a week - AIBU?
OMG! You are filthy scum, I wake my family twice a night to change all the bedding.

Does anyone actually take in ironing? Because that seems to be the standard reply for anyone a it short of cash, I mean your a single mum on a council estate on benefits ,chances are most of your neighbours won't exactly be rolling in money either ,where do people who come out with this crap expect people to find loads of people who want their ironing doing?

x2boys my cousin did it for years as a sideline to her day job. I don't think she made big bucks out of it or anything. Most of her clients were single men who couldn't be arsed to iron their work shirts, I believe.

I hate how every name suggested on the Baby Name board seems to be a euphemism for a body part or bodily function.

OP: My husband went out last night with friends for a few drinks. Today is my turn for a lie in while he was supposed to get up with the kids. He got home at 6am, absolutely paralatic, has pissed the bed, vomited everywhere and is practically comatose. The kids are now awake. I've tried waking him, he stirred briefly and absolutely flew off the handle as he always does, shouting at me and the children and is now passed out again. The children are 2 and 3 weeks old, both breastfed. He has a mean temper and controls they money. What do I do?

Loads of posts: wake him up, dump the kids with him, go out for the day, don't get back until late and turn your phone off. He needs to step up. Oh and book a spa day/buy yourself something expensive...on your DH's credit card of course!

“^ What (well known poster) said”
Even when well known poster hasn’t said anything particularly great, it’s just arse licking.

“” as a reply to a perfectly reasonable OP

"When my step-children come to stay I have to sit in the corner and face the wall. I've been told by their mother that I'm not allowed to look at them or attempt to talk at them."

MN response

"Well OP, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to marry/ live with a man who has kids. How dare you try to steal their dad's attention away from them. You don't sound very nice, no wonder they won't talk to you"

"He's a cunt" - usually in response to the smallest slight

"Ignore s/he" - the suddenly being unsure of the gender of a poster they disagree with on a feministy thread.

Pull on your big girl pants!

Did we have "if you're able to post on MN you're clearly not really sick/you can go to work/it can't be flu!"

(Posting from my hospital bed at the moment and had a moment of humour imagining what those people would make of that)

Why would you post that here to a bunch of randoms on the internet OP?!!

Have you got no friends/family?

OP: "no!"

Beantownnancy yea that one I always get about. There's any number of serious illnesses/injuries/conditions that would render someone unable to go to work or even leave bed yet still able to post on mn, it's hardly taxing!

But then I suspect these posters are also the presenteeist twats that go into work when they're sick and make everyone else sick in the first place!

I don't understand your problems because my children never do this. They are perfect. Why aren't your children perfect too?

Obviously not in those words but this is the general vibe of some threads.

I fancy someone who’s married with 5 kids....

Obviously it’s limerence, so it’s ok, for me to justify all batshit behaviour for my unwarranted attention or a poor man

Such a wanky made up expression. It’s called getting a fucking grip

It's a safeguarding issue.

When a poster isn't being listened to...

I'm out.

'Pick your battles'
'Ignore, ignore, ignore!'
'Meh!'