Standard MN replies...

[STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP]

-Wow. You've got too much time on your hands if that's all you've got to worry about.

-LTB

• You sound like hard work
  

• You're over reacting [about absolutely anything].
  

• wow. Just wow.
  

-this has been done before (as will this thread have been).

Anymore standard replies?
I see at least one on every single thread.
It's as though there has to be a Standard Arsehold reply.

Any others?

[Connieston]

Divorce him on the basis of Irreconcilable Differences.

Which is American. So nope. That's not a thing here.

[BartonHollow]

@AftonGlen

It's when either the person who has been wronged or the person who did the wrong writes their OP as if they are the other person - usually get caught

[MingeAuNaturel]

He/she is an adult so you shouldn't give a shit - to any issue about DC age 18+ .

[MingeAuNaturel]

Why would you want to look like a child/you're only doing to please men/it's because of porn - to anyone asking about pube removal (not me obviously)

[Raspberrytruffle]

Ltb hun

[Buddytheelf85]

He/she is an adult so you shouldn't give a shit - to any issue about DC age 18+ .

Yes! I HATE this one. ‘My 21 year old daughter is selling sex for drugs.’ ‘It’s none of your business OP, she’s an adult and can do what she likes.’

[MingeAuNaturel]

' DH has run off with OW, I have 7 DC, I am suffering from depression, the landlord is throwing us out and I have no money' - 'have you thought about starting your own business?'

[NabooThatsWho]

Man is vile/abusive/deadbeat dad/shit partner.

‘Are you sure he doesn’t have depression/male PND?

[HoppityFrog3]

Every fucking TIME a woman comes on and says her husband/partner is treating her like shit, staying out a lot (leaving her with the kids,) ignoring her, being rude and aggressive etc, someone comes on and says COULD HE BE DEPRESSED?

Also, whenever someone is horribly rude, or badly behaved, and generally unpleasant, it's always 'they may have special needs.'

Sometimes, people are just dicks. Nasty, rude dicks.

Oh and 'LTB' does my head in too! As if packing your life up in 2 suitcases and walking out on your entire EXISTENCE is that easy!

Also. 'you must lead a blessed life if that's all you've got to worry about' pisses me off too. Fuck off. ANYthing that is upsetting someone is a big deal to them, even if it's a shit haircut!

People acting like when a child hits 18, they need to fuck off and leave the home, and become an independent adult, and you are 'enabling' them by allowing them to remain at home, cooking for them, and doing their washing.

And I am fucked off to the nth degree with the fat shaming on here, and the judgy gits with their 'cats-bum-mouths,' who pile in on a thread about weight, blathering about how THEY are 5 ft 6, and a size 4, and 7 stone. And anyone who is an OUNCE over 8 and a half stone (and a size 8,) is a fat cunt.

[usernamerisnotavailable]

It's an invitation not a summons

I have never left my 23 year old with anyone ever for any time let alone overnight.

1 bottle of wine a week is a huge amount. Do you have a drink problem?

[x2boys]

Every one a poster doesn't like is a total Narcissist,or Narc

[GunpowderGelatine]

I loathe "it's an invitation not a summons" - that's all very well but when it's your brother, your actual brother, you can't just say "sorry, I don't feel like asking MIL to babysit for half a day because she let herself into my house once in 2004, so I won't come to your wedding, the happiest day of your life you will never have again"

[Ragwort]

‘Controlled crying is child abuse’.

Yes, fine that’s your opinion but don’t complain when you’re exhausted with broken nights, not in a fit state to work/drive/look after your children but won’t consider any form of sleep training.

[ilovesooty]

Raging on your behalf OP
I'd have told her to fuck off
So what are you going to do about it?
Contact the school governors and Ofsted

[Jojoanna]

OP You sound a bit grabby

[Tucobenedicto]

It sounds like he might be on the spectrum

[CrashBandicoots]

Just this really

[x2boys]

I have seen somebody walking down the street who imo looks a bit dodgy , standard mumsnet reply phone the non emergency police number to log it.

[CordeliaGoode]

Boak

[HalfBloodPrincess]

I hate the PA ‘so what did they say when you asked them about it?’

Balonz - stopped being funny after about 10 minutes.

I didn’t want to read and run - no one bloody knows youve read the thread.

[HalfBloodPrincess]

Also

quotes a previous posters 12 paragraphs of advice


^THIS


And the fake ‘I don’t know who this celeb is’ whether it’s someone off brookside or the bloody queen.

[crunchie12]

'Prepare to be flamed'

'MN is full of vipers'

[x2boys]

The Puritanical reply,s there was a tread at Xmas ,might have been boxing day asking for hangover cures,first reply was ,I don't drink So why the fuck answer the thread than?

[Mymatemarmitey]

On wedding threads

‘People say to this day say mine was the best wedding they have ever been to’

On exam / university threads

‘It’s starting to feel real’

[FuerzaAreaUruguay]

ANY food thread is batshit and if you are overweight or obese you will die as a result of that, probably very early.