Standard MN replies...

[STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP]

-Wow. You've got too much time on your hands if that's all you've got to worry about.

-LTB

• You sound like hard work
  

• You're over reacting [about absolutely anything].
  

• wow. Just wow.
  

-this has been done before (as will this thread have been).

Anymore standard replies?
I see at least one on every single thread.
It's as though there has to be a Standard Arsehold reply.

Any others?

[Amibeingnaive]

Does he have any redeeming features?

You sound unhinged

[in response to a complaint about someone behaving like an unequivocal monster] My MIL/ninth cousin/former nail technician died recently. I wish I was she was still around so I could treasure her and her idiosyncrasies which I used to complain about here

I wish that was all I had to worry about...

OP: I have £23 to live on for 9 years - any tips on how to make it stretch?

Stealth boast!
Is this a joke?
This is really insensitive to those really struggling...
I would give anything for £23 over 9 years

[dingledangles]

She didn't have to buy you a gift, you should just be grateful and accept it graciously, she was obviously on a tight budget, it's the thought that counts (even if it was an old pair of socks from a charity shop from your mother in law)

Yet on another identical post you should go NC...

I'm always overwhelmed but the huge difference in responses and how some really innocent posts can get absolutely flamed when the poster seems to be in a vulnerable position!

'I'm so anxious and depressed'
MN: It's your fault, you're not taking any of the advice given

[dingledangles]

Also absolutely hate it when someone's having a moan and people reply 'I couldn't get annoyed about this' well goody for you Sheila but I am so if you're not annoyed then keep scrolling!!

[Bloodybridget]

That's an awful lot of sugar (when child has had a small orange juice and a hot cross bun in one day).
There's not an ounce of fat on my DS.
Using the same dishcloth more than one day is minging (see also: not changing sheets at least weekly; washing towels at anything under 60 degrees).

[penisbeakers]

"He's having an affair."

When all a bloke might have done is like a post belonging to someone of the opposite sex.

It's ridiculous.

Oh and anything about trans people inevitably gets a "men in dresses" response.

Aaaand

MYOB.

[Smotheroffive]

Pombear anyone?!

[JenniferJareau]

I'm sure I've read this before

[WhiteDust]

Popcorn anyone?

Report to OFSTED

[strawberrisc]

People who cream themselves to be the first to say:

Is this a reverse?
He’s gaslighting you
Cocklodger
Stealth boast

And woe betide anyone in a crisis who posted without thinking they might be DRIPFEEDING.

[MingeAuNaturel]

Have we had.....

MIL gave dc a chocolate button

This is a toxic relationship you should go NC

(When the kid is 15) 🤣

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

Every women should have their own bank account and independent finances/savings except for when a man does the same it is financial abuse and stealing from the family.

I used to think 'managing all the bills' involved setting up a half a dozen tv/council tax/utilities direct debits that you review every several months. But it would seem on MN I was wrong and it is actually the same as managing a FTSE 100 multinational.

[thecatsthecats]

To anybody suggesting someone a gram over 8st can be slim and healthy or who dares to be a size 12:

People have forgotten what normal human bodies should look like.

... except they're basing THEIR norm on years when war rationing made excessively small the norm, and yes, in many cases nutritionally deficient.

[Slazengerbag]

As I took my child in to class this morning the teacher tripped him up. She then ignored him crying and wetting himself. Would you be concerned?

You try being a teacher op if you think it’s that good.

[mothertruck3r]

If anyone is nasty or rude then they probably have an unseen disability, nobody is ever just a horrible person.

[StinkyCandle]

People have forgotten what normal human bodies should look like.

... except they're basing THEIR norm on years when war rationing made excessively small the norm, and yes, in many cases nutritionally deficient.


that's a new one! Pure MN gold.

[GraceMarks]

People have forgotten what normal human bodies should look like

And "vanity sizing is ridiculous these days, I have a pair of size 10 trousers from the 70s and they're TINY. I have to shop in the children's range now to find clothes that don't drown me".

Or:
OP: I am a size 12 and I believe I am healthy and not fat (or words to that effect)
MN: you do realise that a size 12 nowadays is equivalent to a size 20 before they brought vanity sizing in, you fat heifer?

[StinkyCandle]

if you go shopping in genuine vintage shops, and not for very old items either, you will see very quickly that sizes HAVE changed a lot. High street shops have never made it a secret.

Regardless of what is normal or not, vanity sizing is a fact.

[JenniferJareau]

You're going to get flamed OP

[GraceMarks]

StinkyCandle

I now can't work out if you're replying to me or giving another example of how people post on any thread about weight. If the former... I am not saying that vanity sizing isn't a thing, just that there are some posters who weaponise it and use it to either stealth-boast about how they can still fit into tiny vintage sizes, or basically tell the OP that they are fat.

[NameChangeNugget]

I used to think 'managing all the bills' involved setting up a half a dozen tv/council tax/utilities direct debits that you review every several months. But it would seem on MN I was wrong and it is actually the same as managing a FTSE 100 multinational

That cracked me up, I have no idea why people say that

[lillighters85]

Poster complains about her toxic abusive mother.
MN you're lucky you have a mother. I would do anything to have my mother back but she died

[GunpowderGelatine]

When all a bloke might have done is like a post belonging to someone of the opposite sex

There was once a thread with an OP who asked AIBU to be a bit miffed that her DH was going to Vegas on a stag do when their baby would only be a few weeks old.

Someone suggested that the stag party are DEFINITELY going to Vegas to shag prostitutes as it's legal there and that's the only reason men ever go to Vegas better tell DH that when we've been he was "doing" Vegas wrong

[cheesydoesit]

'Oh my God OP, are you me/my SIL/twin?!'

[Intohellbutstayingstrong]

Sorry but some of these are hilarious...notable ones are from @JaneyJimplin and @Bananasarenottheonlyfruit

[GreenWingers]

I just threw up a bit in my mouth