Standard MN replies...

[STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP]

-Wow. You've got too much time on your hands if that's all you've got to worry about.

-LTB

• You sound like hard work

• You're over reacting [about absolutely anything].

• wow. Just wow.

-this has been done before (as will this thread have been).

Anymore standard replies?
I see at least one on every single thread.
It's as though there has to be a Standard Arsehold reply.

Any others?

For any post related to a baby the answer is...

Google the fourth trimester.

(You have to Google. No one's going to help you out here)

A slow cooker is your best friend

Poster: My husband is annoyed because I spent money on shit that wasn’t in our agreed budget

Everyone on MN: that’s financial abuse, LTB

For any OP who asks a question about something that other people do

"Why do you care"
"What on earth has it got to do with you?"
"You sound very judgmental OP"
"It's none of your business"

These replies are sooooo boring.

Also

“Get rid”

“End of”

FUCK OFF

Anything to do with being a SAHM -
"Are you married. You have to be married."
"You have to go back to work or you are financially dependent on him..." - yes... that's kind of the point of being the sahp.

a slow cooker is your best friend
I can think of only one way which this could possibly be true and that's to slow cook that bastard chicken so it goes even further

Portia

Is this a reverse?

Not this again

Has anyone mentioned:

This again? We've already had threads about this.

Well I'm sorry that I don't do a quick read of the 500 threads per day that pop up before I ask my question, really should notice every single topic that MN has to offer before I dare post

OP: There's a sahm I know whose husband earns over 100k, she has a nanny and a cleaner and 2 lovely, easy going, academically brilliant school age children. Yet she always complains about how busy she is, without ever specifying why. AIBU to wonder what she does all day.
Posters: Yabu, you goady fucker, you have no idea what sort of situation it is, you sound very bitter.

Apparently we aren't allowed to even wonder what other people do. Even if you're a single parent working very long hours to support your children you aren't allowed to be slightly perturbed at this. Because.

Gunpowder RTFT

Oh, or in response to a cleaner who lives in a bedsit in London who has noisy neighbours:

‘Have you thought of buying a detached house’?

I just spat my coffee out at that op!
No, you didn’t.

Those are all red flags

Can you work from home

The word “bizarre” is used so aggressively on these forums.

Isn’t he/she always so controlling.
Maybe you should see your GP you sound like you have PND

You sound grabby.

This response is always trotted out.

"It stands to reason that a shittonne Of people you've never met and whose circumstances you know fuck all about are genuine TOO arsehole" exactly!

Particularly hateful arseholes on the subject of benefits are the ones that start threads cos they suspect someone of benefit fraud, I've yet to read one where they have ANY clue about the supposed fraudsters circumstances, certainly not enough info to drop someone possibly innocent right in the shit!!!

User - Re sahp who aren't married. They are very vulnerable and not just in case of relationship breakdown. It's shocking how unaware people are of just how vulnerable someone in this position is, there's a lot of misinformation around.

Loving this. Op I think there’s usually more than one in most threads, some are 80% standard shite.

Everything you have all said already ( apart from the one who said if you won’t do controlled crying you’re not allowed to complain about sleep deprivation...ummm no)

I hate the ones about sex that tell women to lie back and think of England.

Toilet brushes are evil

‘I wash my towels/sheets/jammies after every single use, if you don’t you’re vile’

"You sound niave OP"
"Going NC"
"Not drip feeding"

'OP you need to unclench'

Op 'my child is a reluctant reader but really likes stories about children and magic can anyone think of books that may help'

Poster 1.'harry potter?'

Rest of mumsnet 'oh my god your child can't read Harry Potter it's terribly written, full of plot holes absolutely awful. Nobody should read or enjoy such terrible terrible books. You must give them something 3 book bands above their level and possibly a classic, preferably russian'

Despite them being children's books and hugely popular

I love this thread - but had better name change now as very revealing