To ask why people let their DCs sleep in the same bed?

[amrscot]

I have a couple friends who let their 2, 3 and 4 year olds sleep in their marital beds every night.

Personally I don't understand the reasons behind it and think surely it can't be good for a relationship in the long term.

AIBU to ask others thoughts on this?

To the PP
I have a sister in law who is like that! Crazy.

I love mine snuggling with me.

I also know someone who put her baby in his own room as soon as she was home from hospital but her cats were in her bed. The logic was that the cats were used to it and so it would be more disruptive to force them out.

At 5.30 am when my DS has wet the bed but had the thought to wash his bottom half before climbing in to bed next to me and say sadly 'mummy I wet the bed' I simply cannot be arsed to go and change his sheets and just open my arms for a cuddle. Within five minutes we are all asleep and I get some precious snuggles. Getting up when the alarm goes off and see that my DS has snuggled up to his daddy melted my heart and made it that much harder to leave for work. DS will be grown up in a few years so Im grabbing every chance for cuddles while i can.

My 7 year old wakes every night and comes in for reassurance, usually losing me. 5-10 mins sleep ... I attempted to do the (recommend by health expert) technique of kiss and rapid return and it took 3 hours of horrendous upset tears and raised voices before I gave in and allowed him in our bed . I have a demanding job and and pregnant so allowing him in is the lesser of two evils,

Genuine question, how do you guys do this without babies falling out the bed? . I can't co sleep because of health reasons but everytime I think of it I think of how my little one can get anywhere and reach anything and don't trust him not to wake up, crawl over me and fall out the bed and cause mischief!

Because both me and my son enjoy co sleeping?

@UpsyDaaaisy (until 9 months in basket/cot), bed against the wall, so baby on that side. I was in the middle, (when my oldest three slept with me) oldest would be at foot, and middle on my other side. I slept at a weird angle. The one on side never fell off bed, I always woke up if she was nearing edge. My 4th aged 6 still sleeps with me, and a few times he has crawled to edge yet I somehow always wake up.

I think of how my little one can get anywhere and reach anything and don't trust him not to wake up,

Once mine was mobile I just put her in the middle of the bed and held the bottom of her sleeping bag hard.

Some people put pool noodles under the sheet along the edge of the bed.

Really none of your business OP

I had a gizmo like this www.target.com/p/summer-infant-174-single-bedrail-white/-/A-12433632?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000 It slipped under the mattress. Actually I had a few, some in the DCs' beds too, to prevent falls.

And you can put a mattress or large floor cushions on the floor so if they do fall they won't hurt themselves too much.

If we're talking about the 'marital bed' here, then does that mean that one of the parents/partners or whatever should be excluded too if they're not married......

Once my boys were bigger they slept between me and DH and mine and DD's bed now has a bed guard down one side so she doesn't fall out.

.

I never found dc disturbed my sleep as much as my (dearly loved) dh does: they moved around less, snored less, were less likely to hog the duvet and took up less space

yes, I love the man, but for a good night's sleep, give me a 3yo any time

Easy choice for me. I don't have a partner and I usually have to work the next day so, if DD has a bad nightmare, is feeling off-colour or just gets scared, it makes sense for her to jump in rather than for us to waste an hour's sleep trying to settle her in her own bed. The only possible reason I wouldn't is that my mother usually finds out and gets stroppy about it. However, I'm a big girl (nearly 40) who doesn't have to make decisions to placate her mother anymore.

(My mother will make up any old shite to make me feel bad about co-sleeping, e.g. telling me it's unhygienic. She also tried guilt-tripping me when DD had only just turned two by saying that DD's friends would bully her if they found out that she slept in my bed. At that age, DD only had one friend and he only spoke about ten words! He also ended up sleeping between his parents some nights, like at least half the small kids I know).