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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New lodger taking over my house!!!

496 replies

scrabbled · 26/02/2019 20:08

Ahhh not sure if I'm being unreasonable as my last lodger kept himself very to himself and I know I was lucky.

New lodger moved in Saturday, but I was away.

He is taking over my house!!

  • has installed a doorbell with alarms all over the house without asking me
  • keeps his bedroom door open whilst blaring out rubbish heavy metal music
  • has filled all available work spaces with protein and supplements and squeezed my stuff onto a tiny shelf
  • stays up until the early hours watching tv in he living room and refusing to turn it down.
  • kept his keys in the door so that when I got home from work I was locked out, as he was in the shower.

I've just been sitting quietly eating dinner and he has come in and turned on the TV and started watching something.

AIBU here? And if I'm not how do I tell him where the boundaries are?

OP posts:
Bluestitch · 03/03/2019 14:58

Even in a house share it wouldn't be appropriate behaviour to remove all the door handles. He sounds unstable.

Roisin606 · 03/03/2019 15:05

Read up on some of the things you can do.
A lodger has less rights than an assured shorthold tenant!

However you can state that he removes the bells, the protein, and insist he sticks to the ground rules you imply. If not he's out! By the sounds he is making himself at home. As lodgers do. But 'installing items' and doing whatever he wants in communial areas is out of order! He's a bloody lodger and you need to make that clear to him that he is NOT entitled to just act on his own initiative without compromise! Asking instead of assuming and comromising goes a long way as does please and thank you. You are the owner of the property what you say GOES!

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/excluded_occupiers

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/lodging/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

Happynow001 · 03/03/2019 15:07

o.p sorry to worry you but taking handles off would concern me for my safety. Why does it matter if they make a noise does he have plans to sneak around? Get him out.

^^ This! 😯You really need to be a lot more assertive for your own safety OP. Get some large friends round and make him pack his stuff and immediately change the locks!! This really is not normal behaviour.

MulticolourMophead · 03/03/2019 15:09

He has to go, this chap is a serious worry. He either doesn't understand how lodging works, or just doesn't care. I wouldn't give him too much notice either, your safety is worth more and you can't be certain exactly what he might do.

I'd also change the locks after he's gone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/03/2019 15:10

OP, I've been reading this thread since you first posted it and I'm wondering what the point of people posting to you is? Every time you update you just post nuttier things that your 'lodger' has done.

Anybody with a semblance of sense would have taken steps to get the lodger out but you just seem to be engaging with crazy and updating us all about it.

If you are for real then your sense of safety and awareness are seriously subdued. Listen to the posters, stop engaging with this nonsense and get this person out of your house.

Every update seems more and more unreal somehow. Act.

SayNoToCarrots · 03/03/2019 15:11

You both seem nuts. Him for doing all this weird shit and you for not telling him to get to fuck.

Tensixtysix · 03/03/2019 15:12

Watch out it doesn't turn into the film 'Pacific Heights'. Would never have a total stranger in the house.

CarpeVitam · 03/03/2019 15:12

This thread can't be for real 🙄

PiebaldHamster · 03/03/2019 15:13

Oh, c'mon, NO ONE is this much of a walkover, surely. Hmm

SomeDayPerhaps · 03/03/2019 15:13

For fucks SAKE OP how much of a pushover can someone be?! GET HIM OUT!!!!!!

AlexaAmbidextra · 03/03/2019 15:18

Quite frankly OP I think you deserve each other. You’re both completely nuts.

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 03/03/2019 15:19

OP. You need to do whatever is necessary to get him out of your house. Ensure that you have backup with you, I wouldn't want to tackle him alone myself.

He is clearly not behaving in a "normal" manner. Nobody removes door handles because they are squeaky.

No, you could not have foreseen this, but it is happening and you appear to be doing nothing about it, despite several people telling you to get him out before it gets worse.

Collaborate · 03/03/2019 15:20

You have a certifiable nutter as a lodger. I'd give him 48 hours.

JessieMcJessie · 03/03/2019 15:22

I know troll hunting is against the rules but...but...this has to be a pisstake, surely? The handles I could just about have believed but the 10 layer cake....3/10 OP. You jumped the shark.

Tensixtysix · 03/03/2019 15:22

As others have said, get him out! He sounds like he's getting the house ready for his mates. They will invade your house and claim that it's in bad nick (handles missing), and that it's not lived in.
Then try and get squatter rights?
Either that, or he is unhinged?
Did you not get any references on him?

BumbleBeee69 · 03/03/2019 15:23

OP, I've been reading this thread since you first posted it and I'm wondering what the point of people posting to you is? Every time you update you just post nuttier things that your 'lodger' has done.

Anybody with a semblance of sense would have taken steps to get the lodger out but you just seem to be engaging with crazy and updating us all about it.

If you are for real then your sense of safety and awareness are seriously subdued. Listen to the posters, stop engaging with this nonsense and get this person out of your house.

This

Motoko · 03/03/2019 15:25

For fuck's sake OP, why are you pissing about? Why didn't you give him his marching orders on Friday, when your boyfriend was coming over?

WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?

Are you really this stupid?

mummmy2017 · 03/03/2019 15:25

You need him out.
Find friends to help you.

RighteousSista · 03/03/2019 15:26

Can you check his name out with the police in case he has form / is already known to them. Then describe the odd behaviours by them? Worried for your safety....

GoldenSyrupLion · 03/03/2019 15:27

Yeah, OK.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 03/03/2019 15:31

I've been following this too, it's getting crazy. If it is for real, then GIVE HIM HIS NOTICE. Get him out of your house, OP. DH wouldn't even take all the internal door handles off without bothering to talk to me first, even if they were the noisiest door handles known to humanity. This bloke is beyond taking the piss.

Turn the oven off and tell him to GTFO.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 03/03/2019 15:32

Protein / cakes I could cope with.

Taking door handles off? That’s just plain weird.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 03/03/2019 15:33

Other posters will know better than me but Would you be allowed to use Clare's law to check him out with the police?

I know that it's normally used if you are in a relationship with someone but as he is living in your home and therefore (except for the romantic elements) there is some cross over?

averylongtimeago · 03/03/2019 15:35

On the chance that this is real, he needs to leave.
Phone some friends for back up and just kick him out.

Oh, and put the door handles back on, all you need is a screw driver.
Taking them all off is beyond creepy.

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