Was I a complete bitch?

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In our department (15 colleagues) there is always a collection for birthday presents. All but 3 of us are around 30, I and 2 others are 50 ish.
It was colleague A's birthday last week and I knew it was her 50th and mentioned it was a round birthday to another colleague who has worked there for much longer and knows colleague A better. I have been there since November.
We collected 50 pounds for a restaurant voucher but never actually made a big thing of it being colleague A's 50th birthday.
She is very upset with me for letting slip that she is 50 as she feels the younger colleagues now treat her differently.
I had no idea she was so sensitive about it and have no problems myself with my age but have learned that others do.
I feel awful for offending her but the other colleagues could have also mentioned that it was not wise to draw any attention to the fact that it was a 50th birthday.
I have apologised profusely but she says she can't forgive me but will get over it.
Was I a complete bitch to let slip that it was her 50th or is it a bit of an over-reaction on her part?

as mjch asi hate getting older i dont get her overreacton

your colleagues arent thick does she honestly think they thought she was the same age as them

noones treating her differently its al in her head

I think that people lying about their age is pretty pathetic

I don't think this woman lied about her age. She just didn't want it broadcasting behind her back. Do we know yet how OP knew it was her 50th?

does she honestly think they thought she was the same age as them

Of course she doesn't think that. I'm over fifty and I'd never expect to be taken for being in my thirties.
I really don't think that's the issue at all. The issue is that she didn't want her age bandied about behind her back, when she'd made a point of not making it public. Do we know yet how OP knew she was 50?

Sounds ridiculous! If it’s a significant birthday obviously you make people aware so hopefully they will contribute a bit more to the pot.

I’ve known people I love not live to 30, getting to 50 is something I will feel extremely privileged to do.

Not one single one of us has any control over our age. She’s being a right diva. Maybe not enough people spoofed her off with the old “I thought you were 30 like us” bollox. I love my age. I’m proud of surviving this long!

Like most others, I think you were fine and she's being ridiculous.

But some people do have a "thing" about ageing, and she appears to be one of them!

You'll know for next time not to bother though, eh? Since she's been so ungrateful. And yes, honestly, did people really think she was that much younger?!

I was hurt when i turned 50 ....and my in law's gave me cards. Because they didn't for any other birthdays. I admit it's not reasonable but i was sad. They meant well too.

My family except for dc and dh have passed and i'm now sensitive to my age. It's not vanity so much as fear. I have much to do before i die and i worry that i won't accomplish my goals.

She was not nice, OP. However, emotions aren't always reasonable or even understandable by those who have them. It's not easy getting older, losing your looks, dealing with errant hairs ....and dropping body parts. AND WHO KNEW after menopause your breasts INCREASED in size? Yes. Those old ladies with gigantic drooping breasts, probably were normal size before menopause. I've been struggling emotionally about my age and with cup size for a few years.

Now when men flirt, i want to look around to see who they are speaking to behind me!

I had my dc at 35 and 38. They are 20/22 now. I am always shocked when i find small children think I'm a gran! Or 30s think I'm their mum's age. Or my things are "vintage." Truly? Vintage??
It's not vanity so much as WTH??

Growing older is a conundrum; you're happy you're not dead but it's nearly as stressful as puberty sometimes. Especially as i don't have an elder to ask about their experiences. Like walking into a room and wondering why I went there? Ugh!!

Yes, OP, she's bu but aging is personal and sometimes sensitive. Better to be kind and think she's ott than make a further big deal over it.

After a certain age, i doubt many of us like people to be surprised that we're still romantic, passionate or have dreams. And don't fib; i remember thinking 50 was ancient; although i know now that 90 is old!

Not a bitch just a bit thoughtless.

I am north of 50. There is an awful lot of ageism in the workplace IME. I am now having to work harder in my 50s than I did in my 30s to prove that I am still a valuable employee because there is an underlying assumption that the scrap heap is round the corner.

my mum always said about getting older "it's better than the alternative"

I'd go nuts if someone did it to me. You should have not let it slip, some people don't like their age being mentioned so it's best to err on the side of caution and not mention it.
I'm coming up to a milestone this year. If I so much as get anything with my age on it I swear I'll do a Bernice.

(Emmerdale reference there if anyone gets it..YouTube Bernice birthday if not!)

OP. I'd like to talk to you in 20 years and see how you feel about this subject.

Nearly47 well, I am 47 and I think this woman overreacted.

@Nearly47 but isn't the op also around 50? So you want to talk to her when she's 70??!
I'm 40, I can't imagine that I'll suddenly develop a stupid age complex in 10 years time. I'd rather be open about it than have people speculate about my age and talk behind my back! It's so precious. We all get old one day!

RiverTam, the OP said she was very upset and that people were already treating her differently. Don't see this is an over reaction. I work in a very male and youth oriented industry. The prejudice is imense. We don't know the entire story but it's not exactly news that many woman don't like talking about their age. So I do wonder if the OP was completely innocent or there was a bit of gossinping going.
In my workplace I heard someone to refer to an older colleague as being in death doors. The person was not even 60.

I don’t judge people on their age, but I do if they lie about it. It’s vain and shallow.

When you’ve had the man you loved drop dead of a heart attack age 30 you soon learn to be bloody thankful for every year of life celebrated since.

You sound a nice person tbh. If she is holding a grudge over this it's 100% HER issue. She's petty and sulky to get so upset about something like that.

Just make sure you're SUPER candid about your age at the next birthday so she can see how unconcerned you are about your own

Nearly but that is not the OP's fault - that is ageism and this woman should report it to her line manager. It sounds like it could be pretty blatant.

It sounds like you were acting out of kindness so no you have not been a bitch.
Her issue with her age is her issue, don’t feel bad about it.

She can't forgive you?! For goodness sake that's a little dramatic. She needs to get a grip! You were being very thoughtful organising that for her and if she has any issues she should be taking it up with people treating her differently. You did a nice thing so definitely not BU.

Get someone else to sort out their precious birthdays in future. Tbh this just sounds like an excuse to bully the OP because she’s the new girl. Can never forgive her for revealing her age?? Fuck that! The Op is NOT the one being a bitch here