Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
celticprincess · 26/02/2019 17:45

I’m a teacher. We can’t class things like this as annual leave as we don’t get the usual flexible annual leave. It would have to be unpaid leave. We used to get the first day paid if a child was sick and then would have to find alternative care for them or take the rest unpaid but too many people have been having time off quite frequently for their sick children, so now it all unpaid. I work with quite a lot of colleague who have disabled children with various life threatening and life limiting conditions too.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 26/02/2019 17:46

No. It’s called dependants leave. It’s unpaid.

lily2403 · 26/02/2019 17:46

No we get dependence leave, they would never ask me to take annual leave

lily2403 · 26/02/2019 17:47

My dependants (excuse previous spelling) is paid

Liketoshop · 26/02/2019 17:49

Carers leave is calculated on a pro rata basis if your employer does it, managers discretion and whether you've exceeded your carers allowance? After that we have to take it as unpaid or holiday.

browneyes77 · 26/02/2019 17:49

Reading this I’m glad I have the employer I do. They are super flexible and very accommodating and understanding.

I don’t even need to make up time for Dr’s appointments. My boss just tells me to take the time I need for things, because we end up working over for other work things anyway, so we’re always told to take the time back when we do. If I have an appointment my boss just says “do what you need to do, not a problem”. My role is field based so I work from home and even if I’m ill, if I log on and do any bit of work its classed as attending work that day, so it doesn’t count as a sick day because I’ve technically attended work even if it was only for 1 hour. I could lie on the sofa/in bed ill, but have my laptop/phone on and periodically just check my emails and I’m classed as working.

They certainly wouldn't make us take annual leave for something like this. But I’m very lucky where I work. Different employers have different rules and are less accommodating!

PinaColada1 · 26/02/2019 17:53

It should be compassionate leave. Caring responsibilities don’t stop when we work and I find it sad that many companies don’t give this.

Jimdandy · 26/02/2019 17:56

My husband runs a small business and as much as he would love to pay for things like this, he just can’t.

Teakind · 26/02/2019 17:56

I’m sorry you’ve been through that with your daughter. I’ve been there and it’s terrifying.

I was on mat leave at the time but my company would have given me paid compassionate leave (private sector job which had its faults but largely people were human!)

Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 17:57

I am allowed to make the time up, however if I can't it goes down as annual leave, unfortunately some private companies just do that.

SnapesGreasyHair · 26/02/2019 17:58

NHS worker here... allowed one day per year for carers leave. All other time would have to be covered by A/L or unpaid leave.

PandaSky · 26/02/2019 17:58

Nearly47 parental leave has to be arranged in advance in weekly blocks (1 week,
2 weeks, 4 weeks etc). I think it's minimum 4 weeks notice? Can't remember. But it is not designed for emergency leave for dependents.

nakedscientist · 26/02/2019 18:00

I would get paid sick leave, but would have to get doctors notes saying I was stressed because of the situation. That may help you

SnapesGreasyHair · 26/02/2019 18:00

The NHS is the most uncaring employer.

SultanOfPing · 26/02/2019 18:02

Mine would allow unpaid parental leave, annual leave or for me to take hours with flexi and work them back. I'm a civil servant, but my office appears to be hell-bent on lowering the standards as much as possible to fit with local businesses, rather than being seen to raise the bar. I hope your little one gets well soon.

ChodeofChodeHall · 26/02/2019 18:03

My dependants (excuse previous spelling) is paid

How many days do you get, if it's OK to ask?

happypotamus · 26/02/2019 18:04

I work for the NHS, and would get carers leave for that, at least for the first day or 2. It is strange that some of you also work for the NHS and wouldn't. I think it might be manager's discretion, and my manager is amazing.

cherish123 · 26/02/2019 18:05

Should be a family day not annual leave. You are entitled to 5 Family days per year. I am not sure if it's the law or best practice.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 26/02/2019 18:05

Nope. My mum has to go into hospital last week as she fell and broke her collar bone. Ambulance ride in as she’s got vascular dementia too. I text my boss and he said ‘family first BeefStew, take as much time as you need’

HowsAnnie25 · 26/02/2019 18:06

I have worked for the same company in the private sector for 23 years and I would have to take it unpaid or as annual leave. I hope your daughter is okay.

EggysMom · 26/02/2019 18:08

My employer gives one day paid emergency leave, anything after that would be either taken from paid annual leave or unpaid special leave. They only mention compassionate leave in regards to bereavement.

smilingontheinside · 26/02/2019 18:08

I work for a small independent company they would send me home even if it meant not opening. Was feeling really unwell one day and director rang for something asked why I was so quiet when told I was unwell was told to shut down immediately and go home. Love my bosses Smile

minipie · 26/02/2019 18:10

My work wouldn’t make me take it as annual leave.

However my job has long unpredictable hours, often work late, expected to be available outside hours, etc. If I have time off most of my work would be waiting for me when I get back. That’s the flip side.

If you have a set hours job then I wouldn’t expect this to be paid leave, unless you can make up the time another time somehow.

mrsm43s · 26/02/2019 18:13

I work for the LA (non school staff), and I would have the option to work hours up, take annual leave or take unpaid leave. They'd be kind about it, and allow me as much time as I'd need, but it wouldn't be paid unless I used annual leave. I'd say this has been the same everywhere I've worked.

Compassionate leave would not cover a baby in hospital having obs, scary as it was for you, it wouldn't be unusual or serious enough to invoke the compassionate leave policy. That generally is for death/funerals of immediate family, terminal diagnoses, massive accident/illness of an immediate family where life is in the balance etc. I.e. the kind of things that you'd expect to happen no more than once or twice throughout your working life.

I hope your baby is feeling better now.

sighrollseyes · 26/02/2019 18:19

Hope all is ok.
No my organisation wouldn't we have a child leave policy thing.
DH doesn't have a formal policy like I have but his work are very flexible and would let him have whatever time he needed without using holiday.