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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
DeepfriedPizza · 25/02/2019 15:47

Mine would let me have it off paid and without using my AL.

sleepylittlebunnies · 25/02/2019 15:48

I’m a nurse in the NHS, it would be emergency annual leave or if I didn’t have any AL left then unpaid carers leave. Hope the test results are reassuring.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:48

I’m confused- so there’s unpaid leave to deal with dependents and paid compassionate leave when a close relative is seriously ill...well which is it?

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clairemcnam · 25/02/2019 15:50

I would have to take unpaid leave or annual leave. I would take it as annual leave. It has been like that in a number of places I have worked so I would not find that unusual at all.

SouthWestmom · 25/02/2019 15:50

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

This is the government position

But each organisation is free to develop a more generous or sympathetic policy so you need to look in your handbook really

PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2019 15:51

I’m confused- so there’s unpaid leave to deal with dependents and paid compassionate leave when a close relative is seriously ill...well which is it?

It depends on the employer. You don’t have to be paid for compassionate leave.

Reastie · 25/02/2019 15:51

Might be a bit discretionary of the workplace as to whether they deem it seriously ill (I presume it was set up to visit immediate family just about to die?). I was allowed compasionate leave when I was off the day my grandad died (helped calling ambulance etc) and for family funerals. Otherwise it’s always been my sick leave when I’m off ill or else unpaid dependants leave.

Twickerhun · 25/02/2019 15:52

They may not think it’s serious enough to justify compassionate leave.

LostInShoebiz · 25/02/2019 15:52

so there’s unpaid leave to deal with dependents and paid compassionate leave when a close relative is seriously ill...well which is it?

Children are dependents.

Sindragosan · 25/02/2019 15:52

Would be expected to take either annual leave or parental leave (unpaid) for a whole day. Leaving in the middle of the day for an emergency would still be paid and not an issue.
Compassionate leave is generally only for deaths and beyond immediate family is at your manager's discretion.

clairemcnam · 25/02/2019 15:53

Compassionate leave anywhere I have worked is only for an actual death.

asteri76 · 25/02/2019 15:54

My work would allow us to take as much time off within reason.. paid and not using AL and if it's longer it would be up to the managements' discretion.. I work for advertising agency in London.. hope all goes well with the tests!!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:54

They definitely understand the severity as my boss had the same thing with his 18yr old daughter a month ago, and he’s connected me to his wife for advice.

Checked my handbook, dependent leave unpaid, compassionate paid. Not sure whether to kick up a fuss.

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MotherofDinosaurs · 25/02/2019 15:56

Paid compassionate leave. I would never work for a company who didn't cover this.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 25/02/2019 15:58

I work for a global not for profit. I have flexi time so I would take a couple of days of that. However failing that I'd take annual leave or unpaid leave. They would never just ignore it. It would have to be logged somehow.

elliejjtiny · 25/02/2019 15:58

In dh's previous work it was unpaid parental leave. He was off for 2 weeks and then got a disciplinary so my pil had to take time of work to look after our older dc while I was in the hospital with our baby. Pil got fully paid compassionate leave for as long as needed (they took a week each).

youarenotkiddingme · 25/02/2019 15:59

I'd get first 24 hours paid as emergency.
Unpaid after that.
Can't take annual leave as term time job!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 25/02/2019 16:01

NHS here - we get -

3 days compassionate
zero now on carers leave
and the rest is either unpaid or AL

amyboo · 25/02/2019 16:02

I'd be able to take it as "special leave" (public sector - civil servant). We get 6 days leave for a seriously ill child per child/per year, and have to have a certificate from a doctor to use it. I used it when DS was hospitalised for a day surgery for example. We also get up to 6 days leave per child per year for when they're ill (which also requires a certificate), as does my DH who works in the private sector. We're not in the UK but a different EU country.

MrsJBaptiste · 25/02/2019 16:02

I work in the public sector and this would definitely be a day taken as compassionate leave.

The pay in the public sector may be lower than we'd like but my work is just great for time off for hospital appts, school drop offs, taking flexi time, etc.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 25/02/2019 16:05

Same as others, parental leave is unpaid unless it's for emergency childcare but we'd be expected to sort that out within 24 hrs. Compassionate leave is paid but usually for a death.

As for kicking up a fuss.... on what grounds. I hope your child gets better but businesses are not charities. If they have a policy I assume it's applied to all staff equally. I'd only kick off if my manager had been treated differently.

Mof3K · 25/02/2019 16:06

I wouldn't have thought it was classed as compassionate leave. It would be unpaid dependent leave or carers leave in the NHS.
However Even if it is classed as paid compassionate leave it's not a limitless amount of time so you will need to check your policy.

IM0GEN · 25/02/2019 16:06

When my DC nearly died in hospital I had to take a mixture of compassionate leave and annual leave. I was kindly told if I took compassionate leave when they were sick I couldn’t use it again if they died

Was that the NHS? When my DS was dying in hospital, they refused to give me parental or compassionate leave because you had to apply for that in advance. So my GP signed me off sick with stress.

My line manager phoned me up the next week and demanded that I come in for a medical with an occupational health doctor. I told them I couldn’t attend as we were at the hospital every day, DS wasn’t expected to live more than a few days.

So he phomed me back on the next Monday and was really cross to hear that Ds hadnt died yet. He died on the Wednesday and they sent me an appointment for a few days later , accompanied by a very rude letter.

So I went along to see this doctor in the week before the funeral . The doctor was utterly appalled and signed me off for the next 8 weeks ( I was 7 months pregnant ). Before that, I’d had one day off sick in the more than 10 years I’d worked there.

Todaythiscouldbe · 25/02/2019 16:06

Compassionate leave is for the death of a close relative in my company. Dependents leave is for dealing with emergencies.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 16:07

I think I’m extra pissed off as I work for a company where we work out of hours as the ‘norm’- when we take leave we aren’t allowed to put an out of office on and are still expected to check our emails etc.

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