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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 25/02/2019 20:54

Go off sick with stress.

JasperKarat · 25/02/2019 20:55

Paid compassionate leave or toil (I always have loads), but in reality my line manager probably wouldn't record it at all. They would if it was more than a few days. If it was very long term of consist getting signed off with stress as in entitled to six months full pay followed by six months half pay for sickness and of your child is that ill I don't see how you're not stressed enough to not be able to work. Public sector

JasperKarat · 25/02/2019 20:55

*I'd consider

Bitlost · 25/02/2019 20:59

I work for a big plc. As a manager, I would NOT ask you to use your annual leave entitlement. I’d log it as discretionary leave or whatever it’s called. Like others have said, work to contract from now.

Also gobsmacked by poster who was told compassionate leave would not apply if her kids died. Some people really are vile!

like7 · 25/02/2019 21:07

Hopefully would get unpaid leave for this so didn't have to use up annual leave unless I preferred to.

Bowsbows · 25/02/2019 21:16

I'd be offered to take it as annual leave or unpaid leave for sickness of a child. I guess it starts to be too grey an area otherwise - a lot of people have kids and most companies can't support paid leave for children's sicknesses, it's too common and too open to being abused.

I am guessing that on occasion and individual basis, a sympathetic line manager might "forget" to process the unpaid leave form if it was just a day or two taken in an emergency situation, but that would be utterly discretionary.

Moreisnnogedag · 25/02/2019 21:22

OP I would guess ‘seriously ill’ would mean on death’s door and not kept in for observation. I’m sorry your work are being arseholes though!

For those saying they work in the NHS and this would be unpaid, would you mind me asking whether you are a nurse/AHP or doctor? Because Ive had occasion to take off work for both my children and once to fly back home for grandparents funeral (so for over a week). I was paid for each and every occasion without question. It was only when my eldest had a run of sickness spread over three months (and my DH worked away) that it was suggested by my line manager that if it continued she would have to change it to unpaid/annual leave. I thought this was pretty standard across the board as we all work for the same employer ultimately, just different trusts.

FruitRiot · 25/02/2019 21:24

I would get the option of unpaid parental leave or holiday days.

needmorespace · 25/02/2019 21:25

I work for a local authority and my daughter was in hospital last year being treated for meningitis - I had to take the 1 and half days I took off as leave (or unpaid). I opted for leave. I was quite surprised tbh as I have always worked in the public sector and dependency leave (up to five days) would have been allowed in any other place i have worked.
I don't think the benefits that offset the lower pay in the public sector exist so much these days.

Aridane · 25/02/2019 21:36

Go off sick with stress

🙄

2rachtin · 25/02/2019 21:50

I'd officially have to have it as annual leave or unpaid but my work would just let me take it and still be paid. When my dad had to have a massive op in a London hospital I needed to drive my mum there. I asked my boss if I could work from the hospital cafe and he was fine with me just not working - but I did as I didn't need to be with my dad all day.

I was for a private company of around 70 members of staff and my boss is the company owner so can be more flexible.

BlitheringIdiots · 25/02/2019 22:00

In the company I own I wouldn't think twice about giving the staff member a paid day off. Wouldn't expect annual leave to be taken. I would be more worried about the child than the day off.

CountFosco · 25/02/2019 22:33

When I was looking at income protection insurance I asked if I could insure against my DCs being ill and needing a long time off work but I was told it wasn't available.

Critical illness cover would cover this but only for some conditions.

I don't think the benefits that offset the lower pay in the public sector exist so much these days

Bullshit. Do you have any idea how low pensions are in the private sector these days?

I'm really surprised that so many companies turn a blind eye to this. DH is in the public sector (and has worked in various parts of it), I work in Pharma (so both have good terms and conditions). We both reserve a week of our annual leave each year for days off with sick children and if we use that up DH takes unpaid leave (3DC including one with asthma so regular visits to the childrens ward and child on oxygen for a few days, so not just a bit of a cold or a tummy bug). I do get money from my health insurance that covers hospital stays with the DC which helps if DH takes unpaid leave. And if there was a long term illness then I suspect we'd either use up our unpaid parental leave or negotiate a temporary change in our working hours so we could cover caring for the sick child alongside work. It's what annual leave is for Confused. Compassionate leave is just for bereavement at my work.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 25/02/2019 22:36

Haven’t rtft, also not in uk but could you not take force majeure leave?

VanGoghsDog · 25/02/2019 23:04

There's no such thing as force majeure leave, no.

AlexaAmbidextra · 25/02/2019 23:34

Critical illness cover would cover this but only for some conditions.

It would do no such thing. CI insurance will pay out if the policyholder is diagnosed with, as it says on the tin, a critical illness. Nothing to do with insuring a parent for time off with sick kids.

Ginseng1 · 25/02/2019 23:49

Work for v large multinational & my manager wouldn't even log a couple days like that. If it was a longer term thing I'd have to look at unpaid parental leave probably.

AtrociousCircumstance · 25/02/2019 23:51

Where I work it’s called parental leave.

midgwit · 25/02/2019 23:55

Almost the same thing happened to me; my toddler son had a seizure. I got the day off as special leave so it was paid.

Was your daughter asleep when the seizure happened?

Muddysnowdrop · 26/02/2019 00:01

I would be paid for this, up to 5 days per year only (emergency care of dependents). Teacher. A decent employer would know that they would get the time back in work from a grateful employee.

rumptifizzer · 26/02/2019 00:08

If they are doing it by the book, make sure you do from now on. Absolutely don't check emails,when you're on annual leave.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 26/02/2019 00:10

I'm a nurse in the NHS. We can have 5 days paid carers leave per year with any more being at our managers discretion but he obviously has to justify it to his manager. My trust is on its arse in terms of retention at the moment so they're being pretty flexible in the hope people stay. Funnily enough now they've adopted more flexibility the sickness rate has gone down..... turns out if you treat your employees well they don't mind coming to work, who knewConfused

clairemcnam · 26/02/2019 00:16

More likely parents were pretending to be sick when they needed time off for sick kids.

Justaboy · 26/02/2019 00:19

Poor you OP dosn't the outfit you work for understand the words compassion and humanity?.

May thier greedy souls, not that they have any, rot in Hell:(

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 26/02/2019 00:21

@VanGoghsDog in Roi there is.