To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

I can't imagine that happening in any place I've ever worked - private sector, busy and with a superficially uncaring reputation.

In the particular place I work now, I was diddled out of expenses because they were a day out of time. My boss was so angry he put me in for an extra shift, which was three times my expenses claim. He will never be found out because he is in overall charge of the rota.

If anyone dared quibble over picking up the slack for someone in your situation OnlyFoolsnMothers I wouldn't fancy their chances with him.

It works. We are a happy office and we work hard and there is good morale in quite a difficult situation. Nitpicking interferes with the smooth running of the office.

I agree with you op about being in hospital as being serious. Sorry your little one is ill.

At dhs former work they just let him have time off. He’d been there over 20 years and he had a week off a couple of months before they made him redundant.

What sort of seizure was it, have they said anything yet?

My company would give paid leave. Every company I’ve worked for has been the same. Shorty of them to make you take AL.

I'd have to take it as annual leave or unpaid leave. (Small, friendly, private company.)
Not very friendly, that.

Babies and young children are often admitted for things an older child or adult wouldn't be admitted for, because of difficulties in diagnosis and because they can deteriorate quickly. Better safe than sorry principle.
Not exactly a regular occurrence nor an easy thing to deal with.

My work always have me the option of annual leave or unpaid leave. Never paid leave. I think this is pretty standard.

Hope your DD is on the mend

would be unpaid or annual leave for me, unless I could share 3/4 days with dh (one of us starting very early, the other from lunchtime till very late)
pretty standard imo

Thanks Mummyoflittledragon, no underlying fever or infection detected so it’s either a one off (praying) or something more serious. No idea until we get referred to to the first fit clinic, likely in a couple of months- and assuming no other attacks

OP you have said your DD is ok now so I don't think it falls under the remit of seriously ill. I say this as someone whose child with blue lighted to hospital a few weeks ago with a fever and convulsions. It was terrifying to watch and felt very serious.

I think you have a choice. Take it as unpaid dependents leave or annual leave. I would take it as the former if you can afford it because otherwise you loose some of your annual time for respite and you'll need as much of it as possible after this.

I think it's a shame that your employer doesn't have a better provision for something like this. I appreciate that they're not a charity but competitive companies have competitive packages. Expecting you to check emails on holiday and not give back in some respect is poor. I know that I would be looking for a more compassionate employer.

While you are understandably desperately worried about your child, I would read the “seriously ill” in that phrasing as unfortunately meaning close to death. It’s clearly written as an alternative to bereavement leave, and so expected to be very rarely invoked. In your circumstances, I think you would be wise to figure out what you really want and what ‘price’ you are willing to pay for it. In my most forward-thinking workplace, something like this would have still been most likely unpaid or annual leave if you asked for it.

Are you short on annual leave? Could you ask your manager to allow you work back up the hours in the next X weeks to win back the day? Or could you ask for it to be taken as unpaid leave instead? Or if you’re in a “better not make a fuss” type place, maybe just chalk it up and quietly get looking for a new job.

I don’t mean to sound dismissive - my child had the exact same experience of hospital/seizures/ambulances too at a young age and it’s terrifying and worrying and stressful. But unfortunately it’s just not the equivalent of the compassionate leave in your contract. If your manager hasn’t exercised discretion to be more flexible already, they probably won’t and the letter of your contract isn’t on your side, I don’t think. So pick your battles carefully.

I hope your child recovers well and fully.

I also think this is out of order and hope that the tests turn out okay for your DD OP.

Just as a point of comparison, in the US paid sick leave can be used for either yourself or when any member of your immediate family is ill.

Yes sorry OP, in your policy I too would interpret seriously ill as at a real risk of dying. So where you had to keep vigil and possibly say goodbye.
I honestly think large multinationals seem to offer the best policies from talking to friends.

I'd check the sick record, and length of service. Tell them their entitlement to paid sick leave, and how much of it they have used in this rolling period. Clarify it with a number. You have x days sick leave entitlement at full pay, and x days at half pay.

Plenty of employers don't pay sick pay. The vast majority actually.

A couple of different women I work with have been in this situation - emergency hospital stays for their sick children. I believe for the first couple/ few days our employer gave them compassionate leave. For both, they took further weeks off (kids still in hospital). but both had doctors lines for sick leave for themselves (which is full pay). They were both completely genuinely sick with stress and worry over their DC so this made sense all round. Another colleague who’s DS has a preplanned hospital stay has been told she must take AL/ unpaid leave. I hope you’d DC is fully better soon OP. I think it’s terrible they have not even given you the one measly day as paid compassionate leave. Several years ago my DH had to leave work at lunch time to take me to hospital as I was miscarrying (well actually Ectopic but not diagnosed at time). His work put it through as a half day annual leave. It’s one of the main reasons he left them for a better employer.

I would have had to take it as annual leave or unpaid (which is what I would have chosen).

When I was looking at income protection insurance I asked if I could insure against my DCs being ill and needing a long time off work but I was told it wasn't available.

My company's policy:

In the case of a sick wife/husband/partner/child, absence from work should normally be taken as holiday (or request unpaid leave if you do not want to take holiday or do not have enough). There will obviously be situations (e.g. true emergencies, very serious illnesses, life-threatening hospital cases) when it is legitimate to consider an appropriate amount of compassionate leave. You are legally entitled to ask for unpaid leave if you require more time, and do not have enough holiday or do not want to take holiday. We are sympathetic to requests for a reasonable amount of unpaid leave as part of helping to resolve your situation.

Place I used to work (big bank) would have allowed me the time off and not logged it as anything.
When my daughter had major surgery I got 2/3 weeks (I forget which) compassionate leave with no questions asked.

Previous big company, yes, annual leave.

Current small company, no - I would offer to make it up and probably be refused.

I should add husbands employment wouldn't bat an eyelid.

My Dd was in hospital and my husband had to take annual leave. Why should you be granted extra time off just because you have children?

I work for the NHS, I would get paid carers leave for this.

It will be unlikely to be in your contract. Are the company policies on the website; more likely to be in there. Possibly Absence Policy?

DH and I met while both working for a large bank. When my brother died, he was given 2 weeks paid compassionate leave in order to support me (we weren’t married at the time). Similarly when I was ill after giving birth to our DC2, they extended his paid paternity leave by 2 weeks. They would definitely allow compassionate leave for an ill child.

Why should you be granted extra time off just because you have children?

It’s not extra time off just because you have children, it’s compassionate leave in shit circumstances.
It’s not a race to the bottom, have some compassion!

OP I hope your daughter is ok.

I’d get paid parental or family leave. On top of that, there’s discretionary leave that could be authorised.

It does seem that regardless of private or public sector, small or large company the “rules” vary.

The 'rule' is actually the same everywhere, which is what the government set as statutory. Anything else is a company benefit. Public sector does typically tend to be low paid but generous benefits for leave, flexi time etc.

Your issue here is probably with the minimum statutory the government set. Which is unpaid time off for dependents in an emergency. There are plenty of petitions out there for this type of thing. I think recently one was successful in increasing the bereavement leave for your own child. You could perhaps get involved with this if you feel strongly about it.

The only thing I would query with your manager is why they are not giving you the option of unpaid or annual leave. I'm not sure if they can enforce annual leave if you want to take it as unpaid. But there's no point challenging anything else because the employment law is on their side.

As for working the extra hours etc. I learned the hard way in the past that this can often count for nothing when businesses want to suddenly follow a policy. I would just start cutting back and work to contract just like they are.