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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
bubblegumunicorn · 26/02/2019 18:23

Someplaces I’ve worked would haul you in for disciplinary over something like this employment law needs updating!

Supermum29 · 26/02/2019 18:24

My workplaces have made me take leave unpaid if it’s in relation to my dd. Ive requested it be holiday as I couldn’t afford to lose the money but it was declined! Double edge sword I suppose.

JenniferJareau · 26/02/2019 18:24

I think most companies have the same type of policies BUT the big difference is the line manager and how they handle things. Mine used to give me a lot of leeway because I gave a huge amount to the team if I need time off for emergencies. The thing is, she knew me well enough to know they were emergencies, not an employee taking the piss.

reallemonade · 26/02/2019 18:24

It would be unpaid dependents leave for me, work would be happy for me to work the hours outside my usual hours though if I didn't want to be unpaid.

lily2403 · 26/02/2019 18:42

@ChodeofChodeHall

10days per financial year

RussellSprout · 26/02/2019 18:43

HR bod here... if I were advising, I'd advise a manager to grant paid compassionate leave for 1-2 days and unpaid/annual leave if longer was needed.

No obligation for them to, I'm afraid

lily2403 · 26/02/2019 18:43

I have only ever used 1 day in the 8 years I have worked there. I work flexible hours which is handy

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/02/2019 19:44

We would treat this as compassionate, paid, leave. I wouldnt work for an organisation that didnt. Dear God, they seriously expect you to take annual leave for this?? But this type of thing is dealt with differently in different organisations, and if yours is one that expects you to take annual leave to deal with something like this then you either do exactly that or vote with your feet and go work somewhere more compassionate....

mozart12 · 26/02/2019 20:15

This is awful. I work in the private sector and it would go down as a family day!

I wish your DC a speedy recovery x

Stompythedinosaur · 26/02/2019 20:23

I'm an NHS nurse. I would either have to take it unpaid, take annual leave or make the time up.

justrestinginmybankaccount · 26/02/2019 20:28

That’s awful OP. My employer in the private sector would never do this - the basic rule is - unforeseen emergencies are a given, but scheduled appointments etc are taken as leave.

I’ve plenty experience of it with a 3yo DS having 14 emergency admissions in one year with a life threatening condition. Work couldn’t have been kinder (and work/my job is fast paced but they put the important stuff first).

I’m so sorry to hear about your recent fright and I hope your DD is Ok now.

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/02/2019 20:36

justrestinginmybankaccount so sorry to hear about you DS!!!
I would of course expect any follow up appointments to be used from my leave I just would have hoped for more understanding on this incident.
Reading all the responses has been fascinating, thanks all for sharing ( - really sorry for the nurses and teachers out their trying to juggle such situations.)

OP posts:
smallereveryday · 26/02/2019 20:36

I am quite shocked in differences between nhs and (me) Civil Service in large Govt dept. We have the same employer - The government!

I get 5 days special leave, (a year) but only for children, siblings, parents , grandparents and Husband (not partner , not partners children or his family no matter how long you've been together. - has to be a blood relative or 'in-law' a bit unfair.

Can use 4 days worth of accrued flexi hours or 'borrow' them and 'pay back' the hours over 6 months.
Then annual leave.

CountFosco · 26/02/2019 20:38

We would treat this as compassionate, paid, leave. I wouldnt work for an organisation that didnt. Dear God, they seriously expect you to take annual leave for this??

Surely it depends how much annual leave you get in total? Minimum of 28 days AL (4 weeks plus BH) plus a week of 'family days' is worse than 31.5 days AL plus 8 days BH and having to use AL for odd days in hospital with the DC.

DungballInADress · 26/02/2019 20:39

I work in HR. For me, it's time off for dependants; authorised, unpaid leave or holiday if you want it paid.

Compassionate leave is generally only for an immediate family member who has died; spouse, child, parent, sibling. There is no government policy on paid compassionate leave, it's 2 days where I currently, but I've known it be a week and for any family member.

DungballInADress · 26/02/2019 20:46

P.S that said, I wouldn't be discussing that with an employee until they were back at work and I knew that their DC was OK. I would NOT be discussing it before then, nobody needs that stress. Hope your DS is OK OP.

adriennewillfly · 26/02/2019 20:47

I would be looking for another job if I was treated like that.

NewAndImprovedNorks · 26/02/2019 20:51

We employ MANY people...this would not even be logged as sickness, annual leave or anything. Real life is more important. Employee loyalty is priceless.

pinkstripeycat · 26/02/2019 21:00

My work are pretty family orientated. It’s a large company owned by one man. In an incident such as this senior management go out of their way to make sure they make life as easy as possible for the staff member with full pay

ouchiewow · 26/02/2019 21:03

I just had a ten day stint with my baby. He's better now, but yes it was ten of my 25 days holiday!

ouchiewow · 26/02/2019 21:11

Stint in hospital I meant

BowStreetStunner · 26/02/2019 21:32

I am shocked they would suggest you would have to take this as annual leave I am a teacher and would be given compassionate leave no questions asked and paid my father was sick he is elderly I to travel to see him was given two days paid and they were very understanding.

BowStreetStunner · 26/02/2019 21:34

I know it is not that easy but I would consider not working there, have you looked at your companies policy on emergency leave they will have one?

angelfacecuti75 · 26/02/2019 22:16

Yes work does usually make me take it as leave that way its paid x

Alis0902 · 26/02/2019 22:22

They cannot make you take a holiday for this time off. You are entitled to time off for dependants however they don’t have to pay you for that day off.