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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a baby in hospital is an exception to the rules

265 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2019 15:34

Thursday night my DD 18months had a seizure, no idea what was happening at the time. It was horrific, fortunately she is ok now (being referred for tests), but we were kept in hospital overnight and much of Friday whilst they ran tests.
Work have informed me I need take this as annual leave. Would your work follow the same line?

OP posts:
Dextrodependant · 26/02/2019 22:28

When my DS was diagnosed with a chronic illness via a visit to the HDU I was allowed a week off fully paid, then worked from home a bit and then ended up being signed off by the doctor for 3 weeks with the stress of trying to juggle it all.

My employer was amazing throughout. Never questioned the week I was off at all.

Tistheseason17 · 26/02/2019 22:52

Unpaid dependents leave or annual leave if you want to be paid.

Compassionate leave is for bereavements, funerals. Sorry, prob not what you want to hear.

ChasedByBees · 26/02/2019 23:36

I hope things are going OK for you OP.

I would be disappointed at your companies stance and if I were you, the goodwill of checking emails on holiday (which is actually illegal) would completely end. They can’t have things both ways.

Wholovesorangesoda · 27/02/2019 07:36

A stay in hospital overnight for a child I'd definitely get compassionate leave. I work in a bank, although not a high street one

VerbenaGirl · 27/02/2019 08:14

When my baby daughter was in hospital both my employer (public sector) and my husband's employer (private sector) gave us paid compassionate leave for the initial unexpected time - then were flexible with us taking annual leave and making the time up for subsequent appointments. We are very lucky, but we do make sure we give back when our employers need something a bit more from us - it's a good balance.

StarlightIntheNight · 27/02/2019 08:48

Most companies allow for sick leave.....I would then say that I am off sick. You are entitled to get paid sick leave I assume?

meorhim20 · 27/02/2019 08:53

Most companies allow for sick leave.

you cannot take sick leave if your child is ill. I never worked in a place where this was allowed and I work in the public sector, small companies and blue chip.

gamerwidow · 27/02/2019 09:32

Don’t say you are off sick if you are looking after dependents that’s a quick way to get yourself into a disciplinary.
Sick leave is only for when you are sick.
You could possibly say the stress has made you too unwell to find into work at a push but you might find that challenged without a doctors note to support.

BlueWonder · 27/02/2019 11:38

I am in the public sector. If a dependent child is ill, you get the first day of illness as paid leave but not any subsequent days...they have to come from annual leave or be taken unpaid. Strictly speaking the start of illness and leave taken should be on the same day, otherwise they can refuse to grant it. Maybe that is how the guidance has been interpreted here.

natalia402 · 27/02/2019 12:02

When I had time off when DD was rushed into hospital, I was told unpaid or annual leave, this was for a large private company. With my new, smaller family based company I had a day off when DF was taken into hospital with chest pains, they have paid me.
Just depends on the company/your contract.

ShowMeTheKittens · 27/02/2019 12:43

well I could never be a boss. I could never be as draconian.

clairemcnam · 27/02/2019 19:09

Plenty of parents have taken time off sick when their child is ill as they have had no choice.

EggysMom · 27/02/2019 19:15

If you give compassionate leave for the child having a seizure and going into hospital for observations, do you then give compassionate leave again when they are told to "see how it goes" but the child has another seizure/admittance two months later; and then more compassionate leave when the child has to go for an operation ..... In the meantime a grandparent dies, so compassionate leave is needed for the funeral, but it's 400 miles away so you have to give two days to allow for travel .....

Where do you draw the line?

That's why my employer gives compassionate leave for bereavement; but expects you to manage the other absences using either annual leave or unpaid special leave.

Muddysnowdrop · 27/02/2019 21:05

Well there’s lots of other places the employer could draw the line, aren’t there - yours only gives compassionate or unpaid leave, mine gives compassionate leave, emergency care of dependents leave for 5 days a year, and then unpaid leave. Teachers so there’s no annual leave to take.

londonrach · 27/02/2019 21:24

Dh...unpaid or holiday. Me...paid compassionate leave

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