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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my DH should shower more often

169 replies

Ilovemypantry · 24/02/2019 23:17

Myself and DH are both retired so do not have to get up and get ready for work. However, I’m really fed up with my DH personal hygiene routine. He only showers about once every six days and in my opinion this isn’t often enough.
I have nagged him about it so many times but he just doesn’t seem to understand why I am nagging him.
I shower every day and cannot understand anyone who doesn’t shower or have a bath several times a week, even if not every day. I think it is just laziness on his part, as he doesn’t do very much during the day.
I’m at my wit’s end to know what to do to get him to improve on his personal hygiene.

OP posts:
dontknowwhattodo80 · 24/02/2019 23:17

Was he the same when he worked?

Original poster
Ilovemypantry · 24/02/2019 23:19

Definitely showered more often but not usually every day

OP posts:
wigglypiggly · 24/02/2019 23:19

Tell him he doesn't smell very nice, does he have a good wash and clean his teeth every day.

AnyFucker · 24/02/2019 23:19

Ugh. That is quite foul. Nothing to do with being retired.

Do ypu share a bed with this fetid creature ?

Sarahlou63 · 24/02/2019 23:20

Does he smell? If he doesn’t then there’s no need to shower more often if he doesn’t want to. It’s not particularly good for your skin to shower every day.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/02/2019 23:21

That is absolutely vile. Please don't tell me you actually have sex with this filthy man.

Smotheroffive · 24/02/2019 23:24

Did no-one grow up on weekly bathnight as kids! Obviously it killed us all, although the world wasn't riddled with allergies then!

Smotheroffive · 24/02/2019 23:25

Over showering and over-bathing is routine now.

Do you notice a smell? Does he bathe or shower after exertion and therefore getting sweaty?

Fluffyears · 24/02/2019 23:26

Yes we had weekly baths and sink washes between because heating water was too eciensice but nowadays there really is no excuse not to keep clean.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 24/02/2019 23:30

Urgh!

I wouldn’t be sharing a bed with him. The intimacy would be dead.

I am a cleaner and the number of beds I change where the husbands side is a huge disgusting yellow stain and his pillows too. All absolutely vomit inducing. I don’t know how their wives can get into bed beside them.

Nanalisa60 · 24/02/2019 23:31

Well just tell him!! shower more you dirty old man!!

user1473878824 · 24/02/2019 23:34

Know this is an instant flaming on Mumsnet does he smell? Is there anything physical that bothers you or is it just knowing?

Original poster
Ilovemypantry · 24/02/2019 23:36

ILoveMaxiBondi
Yes, the intimacy is practically dead tbh. He would always have a shower before being intimate, but this isn’t the point for me really. The fact that he isn’t very clean all of the time is a real turn off for me. Yes we share a bed but I make sure I stay on my own side!

OP posts:
dontknowwhattodo80 · 24/02/2019 23:37

@Ilovemypantry , is there any chance he could be struggling with depression? Lack of personal hygiene can be a sign of it? Just you said he doesn't do much during the day

ILoveMaxiBondi · 24/02/2019 23:41

Yes depression is definitely a possibility especially with him not working now. When I was out of work I slipped into a pattern of not leaving the house and because I didn’t need to leave, I didn’t need to shower, and then because I hadn’t showered, I couldnt leave the house. Vicious cycle. Horrible depression that just sneaks up on you. I was single so wasn’t inflicting it on anyone but myself though.

Are separate beds/rooms an option OP?

AnyOldPrion · 24/02/2019 23:44

Is he dirty? I.e, is there a noticeable odour, or obvious dirt?

Or is it just that you have observed that he isn’t (in your opinion) showering often enough.

MashedSpud · 24/02/2019 23:46

He needs to keep clean because obvious reasons aside he could end up with some nasty skin conditions.

Notcontent · 24/02/2019 23:48

It’s really not true that showering every day is bad for you.

AnyOldPrion · 24/02/2019 23:50

It’s really not true that showering every day is bad for you.

Equally untrue that not showering every day means you’re dirty or that you smell.

angelikacpickles · 24/02/2019 23:50

@Smotheroffive

Did no-one grow up on weekly bathnight as kids! Obviously it killed us all, although the world wasn't riddled with allergies then!

Bathing children once a week is completely different to a grown man washing himself once a week. Children just do not smell to the same extent as adults.

caringcarer · 24/02/2019 23:51

I would move into another bedroom if that is an option.

Original poster
Ilovemypantry · 24/02/2019 23:53

AnyOldPrion
He doesn’t actually smell that bad tbh, just not that fresh smell like when you’ve just had a bath or shower. It is more that I personally don’t think having a shower every six days is nearly enough. I’m always on at him about it but it doesn’t seem to get through.
I change the bed every week, but I have to change his pillowcase about three times a week.

OP posts:
jizzylizzy · 24/02/2019 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Ilovemypantry · 24/02/2019 23:55

caringcarer

Not an option unfortunately.

OP posts:
AnyOldPrion · 24/02/2019 23:55

I change the bed every week, but I have to change his pillowcase about three times a week.

So he’s grimly greasy then!

No idea what you can do though. Separate beds? Rooms? Houses???

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