To think my DH should shower more often

[Ilovemypantry]

Myself and DH are both retired so do not have to get up and get ready for work. However, I’m really fed up with my DH personal hygiene routine. He only showers about once every six days and in my opinion this isn’t often enough.
I have nagged him about it so many times but he just doesn’t seem to understand why I am nagging him.
I shower every day and cannot understand anyone who doesn’t shower or have a bath several times a week, even if not every day. I think it is just laziness on his part, as he doesn’t do very much during the day.
I’m at my wit’s end to know what to do to get him to improve on his personal hygiene.

@Damntheman you asked a new colleague who started last week if they could smell you? Doesn't that tell you that perhaps you need to shower more if you're worried someone new can smell you. Grim

I'm not trying to offend you Damn but it's basic hygiene. I agree that daily showers aren't always necessary but there are certain areas of the body that need regular cleaning.

I also don't use soap down below but a good rinse is a necessity, certainly more frequently than every third day. The vagina itself may be self cleaning but what about the area around it? And your bum? Just wiping with loo roll alone doesn't get rid of everything, no matter how thorough.

I'm genuinely not trying to offend you but it's something to think about. It's an awkward conversation to have in real life (and generally people will avoid getting pulled into it).

Good lord this thread!!!

You always, always get people on these threads claiming that they wash twice a week and don’t smell. But I am not sure how that’s possible unless you have daily “flannel” washes of your whole body - and I am not sure why you would do that rather than have a bath or shower unless you have mobility/ health issues.

I don't get what's so hard to understand about this. Different people have different body odors, some less pungent than others. Some people sweat less or more. Some people are more active. I once went 6 months with a shit landlord who wouldn't fix my shower (and had no bath), so I showered once or twice a week at a friends or the swimming baths (yes, properly, before I went in!) whenever I could, and the rest of the time was flannel washes and hair washes in the sink, complete with shaving pits and legs too. It's perfectly possible, and tbh takes me less time than a shower does. I did not smell.

*Smotheroffive

I find all this talk of 'flannel' washing pretty gross tbh. I could never be using a flannel to scrub my pits without then throwing it away!*

To be really blunt, it's this type of attitude that contributes horrendously to the amount of single use waste and plastic rubbish that is poisoning our planet. What on earth do you think is going to happen if you re-use a flannel?! I presume you don't their away your towels after each use?! I have many flannels, if I'm having a quick stand up wash not a shower I use one Or two if I'm feeling fancy and it gets rinsed and goes in the laundry basket.

Lol Wake! I asked her because you guys are getting so twitchy about over-excited cleaning routines. She's the chatty type and I explained the backstory behind the question, she's highly amused by it all! I do not smell.

I'm genuinely sorry you guys get so smelly and gross so quickly, it sounds exhausting.

I don't think we're the ones who are gross..

@BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty

pits and bits. Bits too

[Haughty voice for effect]

Actually, I think you'll find it's Pits, Tits and Naughty Bits!

At least that's how the rhyme went when I was at Guides 😂

I don't get smelly and gross Damn because I wash the dirt and germs off my body on a regular basis. It's good hygiene and basic manners for the people around you.

In terms of the colleague, when you last showered is relevant, i.e. today or three days ago. But it is an awkward conversation to have with someone you don't know well. If someone said it to me I would just laugh along tbh.

Good for you then, darling!

Tbf it would take a very brave or abrasive person to say when asked by a colleague if they smell, ‘oh Jesus I’m glad you finally brought it up, yeah you fucking reek’

Honestly even if you smell nobody is going to be brave enough to say so. They will politely joke it off and wish they were braver!

You clearly don't know any Norwegians ;) I am 100% confident I do not smell.

Why are people just asking if he smells? It's not only about how his armpits smell. What about his ass, his dick and balls? What about the build up in those areas? Disgusting.

There is nothing wrong with sink washes. But not washing at all is not on. No one is going to tell you that you stink.

Back to the OP - yuck, he sounds revolting.

@Damntheman The VAGINA is self cleaning. The labia where smegma and urine builds up is not. So yeah, you should be cleaning it daily actually.

If you guys google around a bit you'll find that current science says the average person should wash 1-2-3 times a week. Showering daily is suspected to be a contributor to lowering Vit D levels (which is a bit concerning if one lives up here where we don't get much winter sun), as well as drying out the skin and washing away important oils.

BUT, what's most important to take away here is that each body is different, if you're dirty then wash - it's that simple. If you smell after 1 day, then please do wash every day! But do stop judging others for following a perfectly healthy, dermatologist recommended schedule of every 2-3-4 days. If they don't smell then they're fine (groin gunk build up will smell so his smell does indeed matter).

People need to stop being so twitchy about gently telling others if they are starting to smell a little. Nordic folk tend to be quite forthright about it and it's very helpful.

Mother dear, my gyno has no problems with my labial health, I'm sure you'll be relieved to know. So I'll take her advice over that of an internet person who is a little over concerned about the state of my genitals. I'm sure you'll understand.

Showering everyday is essential in my book. Not to provide too much info but how can anyone not shower after a poo? And surely most people's feet need washing every day? My husband showers in the morning before work and after he's had a swim in the evening.... I definitely love him more for it 🥳

@Damntheman You're discussing your lack of personal hygiene on a public forum. We can comment as we see fit. I'm sure you'll understand.

Mother, when my doctor and gyno do not consider it a lack of personal hygiene and mererly a 'well established and healthy routine', I'm sure you'll understand that I couldn't give a toss if you're feeling overly involved in my genital health.

Oh my, I wasn’t expecting lots of people to share their personal hygiene routines on here 😳. Makes me feel that perhaps my own routine of showering every day is a tad excessive but I cannot imagine showering any less...I just know that I feel that is right for me.
On the plus side, DH had a shower this morning 😊...day 6.

your suggestion of insisting on shower days otherwise there will be consequences...good idea but what consequences

If it were me, I would be sleeping on the sofa if he doesn't shower. If that didn't work I would be moving out.

That's quite a bashing considering I didn't say I used flannels! I said I couldn't use one again after filling it with all the germs from my pits/bits/tits. Even with a horse you have separate sponges!

Ideally I would use bidet. If I'm not sure I would use water, and no, I don't throw away towels that are only used to dry off clean skin, again, what a leap just to have a moan at someone without basis.

It is true that different people cultivate differing levels of the smelly bacteria, and I have been around some,even teens who don't smell after days, and others that stink by the end of every day.

I think it's important to stay clean and not stink,but its also important to not overwash/soap because of dry skin issues and lack of good bacteria.

I wouldn't put soap down there, but definitely under my pits.

Apparently I have a clean 'smell' I am not a particularly oily or smelly person. Whenever I get hot and sweaty from exercise I do show immediately I get in from said exercise. It will probably be a rinse off though,with a pit soap. Which might be what others describe as a sink/flannel job which I think it gross washing your face/cleaning teeth where pits and bits might be being washed!!

In the summer I am in and out the shower all the time. I can smell myself though, so that's not true either. I do notice if my pits start to whiff, likewise can smell period blood as many women can (see 100 vaginas)

OP, if your daily shower is excessive, you’re in good company. Most people are like you.

Everyone's poo smells. Dh has almost no armpit or sweat odour but after 6 days I expect his bits would stink to high heaven!

Nobody's bum doesn't smell after 4 days of no washing.