To think that Sunday roasts with 3 kids are hell

[lostinthoughts]

Feeling like a failure....

My 3 DC are ages 5, 3 and 1 and will sit at a table during a family roast dinner with my parents for approximately 10 minutes and eat next to nothing before asking to get down from the table to go and play.

I wish they would sit for longer and have a chat/do their usual funny stuff as my parents would love that but instead the scarper.

I can literally feel my DM's disdain and know what she is thinking that I have ferral kids

Please tell me I'm not the only one? Or if I am, then tell me your secrets

Feel your pain. We persevered though and now they are much older we can enjoy chatting to them and I feel like it sets us all up for a busy week ahead. At first when they were little I did wonder why I bothered but it was something I really wanted to establish.

"I can literally feel my DM's disdain and know what she is thinking that I have ferral kids"

Maybe the kids just don't want to have dinner with a judgmental bitch? 🤔

Oh yes the spilled drinks!! So many spilled drinks!!🤣

My dc are non fussy eaters and pretty good about sitting down to eat.The one meal one of them refused (can't remember which it was) was a roast Sunday dinner at Mil's. I think there was just too much food on the table and it was overwhelming? I said it was ok to get down and skip lunch. They had an apple instead while we ignored the whining about not having the pudding that Mil had lovingly prepared also.

We had no spilled drinks is today so that is a WIN! They tend to save that for the mornings we are rushing to school.....

There is a lot of sanctimony on this thread.

Well done perfect parents.

Take them to the park and knacker them first

I never understand these comments. Because tired children are just a delight.

My 3 are fine. We regularly go for a Toby because it’s the only restaurant I can guarantee they will definitely all eat something, plus it’s super cheap and who doesn’t love having no washing up after a roast!

One is a fussy eater, he just has peas, carrots, sausages and Yorkshire puddings but he will eat it without complaint.

We have a roast once a week, and the children kind of expect it. They prefer beef with Yorkshires.

Do they normally sit and eat through a meal though, or is it just this one you suddenly expect them to stay still for longer?

I remember having friends round, and the little boy, who must have been about 2 at the time sat and contemplated his plate. After a few moments thinking about it, he looked up and said in the politest voice possible "Excuse me, but this meal is absolutely revolting."
It was so funny because he'd clearly been trying to think how he could say politely he didn't like it, and decided big words obviously were the way to go.

When ours were younger and we needed them to sit at the table we would use pudding as a promise for sitting still, but also take things they could do at the table quietly while they waited. Colouring, a small car, small puzzles. And if they got too noisy/wriggly they got down-but not up again for pudding. It generally worked very well.

My 1 year old always sits for the whole meal. After all, she has cooked it entirely from scratch with her 3 year old brother while us parents quaff brandy in the drawing room. The 5 year old is too busy serving the wine to get bored too.

Reading further, I think your problem is that they are at home and there are distractions so they want to get up. Could you have your Sunday roast out and then there’s nowhere for them to leave the table? Mine won’t sit at MIL, we do two sittings of adults and kids so that might help as well?

Well, 5 yo should manage more than 10 minutes unless it's a hyperbole, even the 3 yo TBF, though I wouldn't expect them to sit at the table while the grown ups chat.

Would they be more interested in eating if bribed with ketchup or something?

I thought the 1yo would be the easiest one as well, they're trapped and often less fussy at that age, though clearly I just lucked out on this one with DS.

There was also the gravy conundrum.

“DC would you like gravy?”
“Yes please, I love gravy”
“Shall I put a little bit on the side in case you change your mind, we can always put some more in if you like it”?
“No mummy, all over my dinner”

Gravy is poured all over dinner.

“Mummy this isn’t the gravy you made last week, take it off” [wail, wail’ thrashes about, knocks drink all over dinner]

Bugger that.

I was lucky DDS favourite Was a roast.If it were possible pork crackling,chicken with a nice crispy skin with any veg and gravy.
Her least favourite was before but this was tolerated because Yorkshire pudding were served before the main with good beef gravy.
We never let dd leave the table without asking and knowing that sometimes the answer was no.When visiting there was usually pud in the offing too so you could leave the table but if not hungry enough to eat main meal then you don't need pud.Also if they do leave the table no adult interaction until the meal is over.
Children are OK if they know the rules even from quite small.

Oh edwin I think we might be living parallel lives

I find the I just brine them with Yorkshire’s then they tend to behave a bit better. They aren’t keen on the rest of a roast x

Bribe *

It gave me indigestion to eat with my kids at that age.

They’re now 15, 13 & 9 and will sit through a meal, eat, talk, wait for pudding. I do usually let the 9yo get down between courses, he has ASC and will bore us all to tears on his topic of the day otherwise.

It gets better, but don’t feel pressure from other people. If it suits you to let them get down, then let them get down.

Some suggestions that might or might not work

Placemats that they can colour in
Ask them to count the peas
I spy something that is green\puffy/looks like a rocket ship
Take it in turns to tell a story, one line each (depends if the Gps would participate)
Who can think of something that starts with the letter B
Who will be the first to eat 3 different vegetables
If you went to visit the jungle, what would you see
Have an adult go first and give them an example that is age appropriate to the dc, not an adult answer (at least to start with)

It might make things a little more lively than you were originally aiming for, but it may stretch their table time from 10 mins to 20 mins, and you did say you were hoping the Gps could hear the funny things they say

Also make sure that everyone ones food is plated and all the adults are ready to sit before you get them, otherwise you waste their ‘i will sit still time’ with adult faffing

With hindsight, I should have given them yet another pep talk on the way over to my mothers that they must sit still and behave otherwise no pud. But in reality I was too busy singing the wheels on the bus to the one year old, answering questions about why we have pavements to the 5 year olds and dealing with the 3 year old saying the wind was too windy after he'd asked for his window to be put down. And to think some 3 year olds eat salad.....

I'm with autumn. My boys are 9 and 13. They will now happily eat a family meal, but they will both be ready to leave the table before we are and that is fine.

Family roasts are hell with little kids. We abandoned it when the youngest was about 18 months and only went back to it in the last 2 years. They didn't then like the food and it made us all unhappy.

They are both very appreciative of roasts these days - and sat beautifully throughout breakfast at The Ivy as a half term treat on Friday. Fear not. But personally, I dropped them for a while, it just wasn’t worth the stress and doesn’t seem to have done any permanent damage.

lost my children have never eaten salad! Your DC are too young for a pep talk btw, except maybe the 5yo!

My 3 year old eats salad. However he also likes to stick cutlery up his nose, so I guess you win some, you lose some...
It sounds like you're doing fine! Ignore the looks and cancel roasts for a while if they are really painful. A brunch with pancakes and cold stuff might be easier and more fun all round at this age.

Edwin that gravy post SPOT ON!

I second colouring in table cloths and place mats!