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AIBU?

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Original poster

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
CharlyAngelic · 26/02/2019 11:46

@GreatDuckCookery theOP updated once on Sunday 24th February at 17:48 hours.
She said her family had not acknowledged her birthday . Her daughter had reminded everyone at Christmas but they then all did nothing on the day . Zilch !

ravenmum · 26/02/2019 11:48

Yes, OP should be so grateful to us all for taking 3 full seconds of our life to write happy birthday to someone we don't know. She should regularly update the thread even though nothing else has happened, and think about us, rather than just going about her life feeling sad.

Bochym · 26/02/2019 11:51

Awful when that happens. Sympathies because you feel upset.
Advice: Do as already suggested on here:
Make your own fun and have a party if you want - don't ask relations.

Or, the better approach. Ignore the daughter for a while
Don't cook, iron etc for hubby
Son's at home? Tell him to leave if he finds it so easy to ignore you on your birthday and more (You'll do him a big favour throwing him out assuming he's 18 or so)
Do NOT do any more ironing, cooking his meals, making his bed and tell him you want it done by him.

Sounds awful? Believe me it'll wake them up and they'll come crawling and full of apologies (because they need their housekeeper to clean, save, iron, make the tea and lunch etc etc.

Biggest problem here is women have breasts and are forever looking for something to feed. Try to get past that unfortunate handicap and beat down on them all hard. It'll change your life for the better.

As our children once said "Friends are the new Family"
Oh, says I, "Well let's hope they leave you some money in their Wills."

Oh says they. That statement cost them 50% of what they would have had.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 26/02/2019 11:54

Yes I had seen that Charly, I didn’t see that as an update but more of a reaffirmation of what she’d already said.

I wasn’t asking for an update though just to be clear Smile

CharlyAngelic · 26/02/2019 11:56

Well said @ravenmum
Thanks again for pointing it out to me. I HAD genuinely missed it .

Leapfrog44 · 26/02/2019 12:19

I know I'm late to the party here but I have dyscalculia and struggle with dates and numbers. Someone asked me my daughter's birthday the other day and I went blank. It's possible people have individually innocently forgotten and because it happened en-mass it seems devastating? I sympathise with people who forget birthdays as I REALLY struggle to remember them.
Maybe you're reading too much into it. ASK them??

MamClara · 26/02/2019 12:47

Happy 60th Birthday!!

I would forget their birthdays and let them see how that feels ......A*oles!

Damilare123 · 26/02/2019 12:47

Happy birthday sweets, long life and prosperity in great health. Enjoy and keep smiling

Shockers · 26/02/2019 13:00

I’m not suggesting she should think about strangers’ good wishes and ignore her feelings about what her family haven’t done, ravenmum;

I’m just wondering why someone would post and then not read the replies.

Sheepish79 · 26/02/2019 15:14

Happy 60th Birthday - find your husband's credit card go on line and buy yourself a cake, a large box of hand made chocolates, a huge bouquet of flowers and book yourself in at a spar for the weekend and have the birthday you deserve. Enjoy yourself - they won't forget the next big birthday oh and by the way forget them when it comes to their birthdays

MummysBusy · 26/02/2019 15:24

@ravenmum, i was the one who originally pointed out that OP hadnt posted, i actually pointed it out because i was worried for her. So no, not expecting gratitude, just genuinely concerned about someone who had a spectacularly shitty day.

ravenmum · 26/02/2019 15:27

She had already posted the second time at that point, @MummysBusy

My comment about expecting more responses was addressed more at the "No update? Interesting" posts, as if OP was up to no good.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 26/02/2019 15:45

Belated happy birthday 🥳 sorry it was rubbish!

smilingontheinside · 26/02/2019 17:38

Late to post but perhaps the lack of further response by op is because she's been whisked off crutches an all on a cruise or alternatively she's in police custody for finishing off her selfish family. Hmm

CircleofWillis · 26/02/2019 19:10

CharlyAngelic and ravenmum most people saw and responded to both messages the OP has posted. The second one was written less than an hour after the first and was only at around 6ish on her birthday. I think lots of posters are hoping her day improved with a planned surprise or at least proper acknowledgements from family and friends. Otherwise we would like to know that she is at least doing OK after such a shitty day.

Aradiathrrvaisi · 26/02/2019 19:11

Try not to feel to bad. I know it hurts believe me my last birthday i turned 28 and did not recieve one happy birthday. Not text from my mom nothing from my husband no calls. On the bright side all the rewards programs ive signed up with remembered so I was able to drown out my birthday blues with free ice cream and food and half off shopping spree. Next year treat yourself it wont matter if they dont say happy birthday. You'll be taking care of yourself.

ssd · 26/02/2019 19:15

Is the op gone?

CharlyAngelic · 26/02/2019 19:40

I have PMd her earlier today. No response . @Circleofwillis

CharlyAngelic · 26/02/2019 19:42

I was just trying to be helpful as I missed her post myself . ( easily done when there are so many)

CharlyAngelic · 26/02/2019 19:45

Some one said they were confused earlier and kind of used half my “name “.

CircleofWillis · 26/02/2019 19:58

No worries CharlieA. No-one owes anyone an update but I think it is natural to be concerned when someone appears to be quite distressed and then doesn't come back to a thread.

llizzie · 26/02/2019 23:33

Look at it this way: buy yourself something really expensive with the housekeeping, food money, even if it goes into overdraft and when they ask where their food is tell them you spent it on the birthday treat you were sure they would have bought you if they had remembered it.

MerdedeBrexit · 27/02/2019 07:02

The OP didn't post on her birthday. With any luck, she's not posted again because she's been swept off on a late surprise holiday to visit her daughter abroad!

MulticolourMophead · 27/02/2019 15:09

Well, I hope they've made up to OP. But it really doesn't excuse the fact that they didn't even acknowledge it on the day itself. That's shitty.

ssd · 27/02/2019 20:00

I think we were all just feeling sorry for the op and would like to hear she's had a chat with her family and has had some nice belated gifts
Of course there's no need to return to your own thread but she must know posters are concerned for her