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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
Alexandra2018 · 25/02/2019 20:46

I'm sorry you didn't have a good day. This happened to me last year it wasn't even a special birthday but I was really upset no one at all acknowledged the day, OH kids not a single friend. ThanksThanksThanks
I do so much for every one else's birthday and don't even get a card! Not even the words happy birthday!
I've said this year I'll treat myself and not bother with any one else! I'm going to have a spa day on my own

ChristmasHumper · 25/02/2019 20:46

Happy birthday!

Did you not get any cards or presents at all? Do they normally give cards and presents?

QueenOfIce · 25/02/2019 20:47

Happy belated birthday! I hope these replies have gone a little way to making you smile.

ThanksThanksThanksThanks

TheRealHousewife · 25/02/2019 20:50

Happy Birthday Rad,ey. I’m hoping the radio silence is a sign they all surprised you!

oldowlgirl · 25/02/2019 20:54

That's what I'm hoping too @TheRealHousewife

Ellyess · 25/02/2019 20:56

Radley60
I'm so very sorry!
This pain must be one of the worst.
I won't make excuses for them. They need a good telling off and shaking up.

To you I say, take very good care of yourself, treat yourself really well. Make your favourite food and don't share it. And you have made a lot of friends here.

Lots and lots of love and very best wishes and look after number 1!

and HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY! 🍾Flowers🎂🎁🛩🎺🍰🌺🌸🌹🌼🌷💐🌻

NotTerfNorCis · 25/02/2019 20:59

Happy Birthday, if you're still reading! Treat yourself. Go shopping. Go to the cinema. Buy a big cake. Whatever you fancy.

Coffeebean76 · 25/02/2019 20:59

Aw OP I was so sad and angry in your behalf reading that. It’s a very important birthday to mark and I imagine you do a lot for your family.

I think women end up taking care of everyone else so much they get forgotten but obviously your family were just not thinking. I really hope they made it up to you (sorry didn’t read the full thread).

Let them make a huge fuss when they realise their huge mistake and you get properly spoilt !!

michaelT1 · 25/02/2019 21:08

You definetely shouldn't feel bad about feeling this way.....you so SHOULD be feeling this way,and it's thoughtless and hurtful that your family let this happen,a big boo boo on their part! I hope you are ok and I'm sending you love and hugs .

Shelly5 · 25/02/2019 21:14

That’s really terrible I would feel deeply hurt. I think I would shame the lot of them and book myself into somewhere! Have you got a good friend you could maybe go away with ? Happy belated Birthday xxx

dlizi4 · 25/02/2019 21:16

Sending best 60th Birthday wishes to you.! My b/day is early Jan so its a bit crud anyway, so I usually have another birthday to myself on a nicer day later in the year( I don't tell people or get presents or anything, but hey, I love it.!) Treat yourself more, value yourself more, love yourself more.X You are not invisible, please don't feel like you are. My 50th passed without remark, I was silently fuming. I did not want a fuss but acknowledgement might have been nice. I get where you are coming from. Choose a nice day and treat it like it could be your birthday! X Make a list maybe? 60 things to do when you are 60/bucket list and have fun crossing them off/showing us? lol You are @mumsnet loved, never forget it ! XxXxX

LizzieVereker · 25/02/2019 21:20

Happy Birthday from me, I hope you’ve treated yourself to something nice, and some peace and quiet xxx

2018SoFarSoGreat · 25/02/2019 21:26

Happy birthday from me. I turned 60 last birthday, and I made sure that we talked for at least a year before about my family were very clear on how I wanted to celebrate. I chose it, planned it, paid for it. It was fabulous. If I had not chosen specifically, they would have known how to make me feel special, and in turn, very happy. I typically don't care much about birthdays (well, my own birthdays) but this was one I was not letting pass without a celebration.

I'm so very sad for you that your lot did nothing, nor even ask you how you wanted to celebrate it. I'd not be sitting quietly seething - there really is no point in that. Frankly, I think a family meeting is in order here, and that one question is asked: why did you all ignore my birthday?

Toooldforthisshit49 · 25/02/2019 21:54

Happy Birthday 🎂🎉🎈

MissEliza · 25/02/2019 21:55

Happy Birthday Op CakeWineThanks!
You deserve far better than that and I'm furious on your behalf. You need to say frankly to your loved ones that you were very hurt by this because you are being completely reasonable.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 25/02/2019 22:07

I've read all the way to the end to find out what happened. I so hope you had a surprise birthday party. Please update us. Happy 60th birthday by the way! FlowersWineCake

Smotheroffive · 25/02/2019 22:13

This has to be some sort of record, either that or the daily roundup in getting desperate. A thread that's got into the daily roundup with an absent OP who's only posted twice since the OP!

rachaelclaire1 · 25/02/2019 23:08

Happy belated birthday 💕

Sent yourself some flowers it may jog their memories

November1977 · 25/02/2019 23:11

Hi Happy belated birthday to you. Xxx

happymum12345 · 25/02/2019 23:17

This happened to me on my birthday last year. I held it together uniltil I was dishing up dinner then I cried non stop! My dh left the dinner table, drove to Asda & came back with 2 dvd’s As though that would make everything ok.
Like you, i completely spoil everyone on their birthdays.
Next year, plan to do something wonderful with a friend.
Happy Birthday!

heresHalloweenagain18 · 25/02/2019 23:23

I just read this thread

Awwww im so sorry they showed such lack of interest without making you feel worse ,i feel really sad for you.

Another hoping for an update and that they surprised you later on! Or at least acknowleged it with gifts and nice cards and flowers

Happy 60th to you for yesterday
FlowersCakeWineFlowersGlitterball

Xxxx

Totaldogsbody · 25/02/2019 23:44

Happy belated birthday. I'm sorry your family didn't remember your big day I'm appalled that they didn't remember. I think I would gave gone to bed early and as I was going upstairs would have said Thank you for all the lovely gifts and wishes you gave me today I will always remember how pleasant you made today for me. I would also be tempted to ignore their birthdays from now on. I hope when you're better they take you out its just that even if they remember now and then make a fuss over you its not the same as a simple Happy Birthday on the day . I really feel for you Flowers

cheeseandpineapple · 25/02/2019 23:51

OP, how rubbish of your family. Have you spoken to them and told them how you feel?

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 25/02/2019 23:53

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling sad on your special day wishing you a wonderful 60th birthday xxx doesn’t matter what age you are you deserve to feel special ... special hugs coming your way x

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 26/02/2019 00:24

Happy belated birthday 🎂!

I so hope your family have done a clumsily arranged surprise party perhaps??

Whoever does surprise parties... Please let people know that sth else is coming. I know of several people who have had their birthday ruined as they thought their birthdays had been forgotten when not even a card /birthday wishes s were given first thing!