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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretending that I did it ...

520 replies

Glitterzzz · 23/02/2019 20:00

So.. I am no chef but I can bake.. my OH asked me for a carrot cake sometime soon.. usually I would be happy to run round the supermarket get the ingredients and stand in the kitchen to turn out a half decent baked delight some hours later

But

I’m tired. It’s half term. I’m run crazy with two children with additional needs, no school or nursery breaks and trying to keep the house and I’m on a diet myself ... so I cheated.

I contacted a cake maker ordered the cake and was gutted to see how professional it looked when I collected it today considering how much u paid for it... in the need to make it seem I baked it lovingly for him I brought it home and have roughed it up a little... ( smudges in the Cream cheese frosting, a dent here a dent there and whizzed up some pecans and walnuts and whacked them on top...

Unfortunately the real baker had gone to the effort of making little sugar paste carrot decorations which she seems to have apples with a orange substance so I removed them and will just say I attempted a decoration that failed...

Does this cake look home made but not too fancy/ professional? Why do I even care ? 😂😂 I guess I love him and wanted to give him something he wanted and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked

Pretending that I did it ...
OP posts:
Walkaround · 24/02/2019 19:27

LipstickHandbagCoffee - On the basis the PTA insisted on home baking, I can see why it would have been fun to buy a cake and then mess with it... I wonder how many other mothers did the same! Still, nobody would have been claiming it was done for love (although looking at the photo of the inside of Glitterzzz's cake, I suspect her dh was too busy gorging on its deliciousness when he got home to care too much who made it!).

Bignosenobum · 24/02/2019 20:31

MadMadaMim ditto. I wish i had 20 quidto waste

Bignosenobum · 24/02/2019 20:38

RaffertyFair it is bizarre. when his wife has children to look afterand is tired. Reading the Op he asked for a cake sometime, not rightaway So why go to those lengths in case she is not being honest. If it is just a treat then this can be done over time. Some people are weird.

Thehappygardener · 24/02/2019 20:47

I’ve bought cakes and said or at least implied I’ve made them and then had to quickly google a ‘death by chocolate’ cake recipe.

Must be stressful being married to a chef and combined with half term, yes, can certainly see why you got someone else to make the cake 🧁 🥕🧁

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 24/02/2019 20:54

Wow I am shocked people continue to comment on this post. In fact if we weren’t all becoming relationship experts and physiological doctors I would go as far to say it’s really taking the biscuit

😂😂😂

Cake update - we have slowly enjoyed this throughout our lazy Sunday in between walking on the seafront in this lovely weather and getting everything ready for the return to school and nursery tomorrow yay! The only question was how did I make the cream cheese icing ? There is still a massive wedge left which OH will be taking into work to share with some colleagues..

I am doing okay with the guilt of my awful deception. I am not feeling like I will need any councelling or medication to deal with it at any point in the near future So rest assured me and the cake are doing very well

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 24/02/2019 21:18

It's weird, OP. Sorry, but throwing bakeware into your sink (which you presumably had to get wet or something) to sustain the lie is weird.

This is not a little white lie, this is really very elaborate. I'm not going to speculate about your psychology or your relationship, but it's really weird, verging on batshit.

Nothing wrong with buying your partner a cake. There is something wrong with lying to him and tell him that you made him because "you want to impress him". It's something, I don't know, Mr Bean would do, to be honest.

ElloBrian · 24/02/2019 21:32

If you want an argument this badly OP it would be far easier to just go onto Style & Beauty and say something provocative about eyebrows.

Jezebel101 · 24/02/2019 21:34

I wouldn't bother doing it, I don't see the point. I'm not the type to think it up in the first place, tbh.

I also don't see the point in saddling up the moral high horse and looking down from my lofty seat in moral judgement at a slightly strange, but well-meaning and motivated by love white lie to make someone feel special.

A fib about a cake doesn't make the OP fundamentally dishonest or mean that she's deceitful about anything else.

It's a bloody cake.

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 21:40

......and still the judgement rolls in 🙄.

OP I am glad you have all enjoyed the cake and you are guilt free. Had you eaten all of it today I would have fully expected you to start another thread asking if it was greedy to do so. (Ok, taking the piss now 😂).

As for cream cheese icing, it’s a case of beating sieved icing butter, sugar and cream cheese together - am actually gobsmacked you didn’t throw some icing sugar round the kitchen for better authenticity coz that stuff goes everywhere. 😮

bethy15 · 24/02/2019 21:53

Letting him take it to work may be opening a can of worms.

He could ask you to make one for all of his friends at work, or it's possible the person who makes these cakes has made one for someone who works there........

Mississippilessly · 24/02/2019 22:11

You sound weirder with every post.

burritofan · 24/02/2019 22:17

Forgetting deceptocake for a moment, the best cream cheese icing is on the Konditor & Cook Curly Whirly cake, because it has a couple of ounces of slightly melty butter beaten into it.

Silverschool321 · 24/02/2019 22:24

Is it his birthday?

EugenesAxe · 24/02/2019 22:27

I agree completely with the first three responses I read. WHY? Are you getting yourself in such a fucking tizz over shop bought vs. handmade cake? It doesn't even look as though it was wanted for a special occasion, which perhaps might have warranted extra effort, but even then it's not essential.

I feel your relationship with your OH must be very unhealthy to make something so trivial a source of worry to you, even to the extent you feel the need to deceive him!

ADropofReality · 24/02/2019 22:32

And for those asking why he didn’t make the cake.....you are missing the whole point of the thread, as well as not reading it properly.

Not really. It's half term and OP is knackered, but apparently OH (a chef) comes in wanting a home-made carrot cake, and they're so "sickly in love" "like teenagers" that OP is happy to go through all this rigmarole... that's not like any relationship I've been in, even as a teenager (I will now be told I've never properly been in love as I've never gone through such a stupid rigmarole, no doubt with lovehearts in place of the pupils in my eyes like when Mickey Mouse sees Minnie)

In my relationships, "Sod off, I'm knackered, and anyway you're the chef" would have always put paid to that idea without jeopardising any of the lovey-dovey. But I'm a gay man so in my relationships neither partner has any interest in mucking about just to please the other partner. Just maybe, female socialisation has driven you to this farce, OP?

ADropofReality · 24/02/2019 22:36

Oh, and Glitterz, it's never a good look to go:

OP: AIBU?
90% of responses: Not U as such but a bit weird and there's also the white lie element.
OP: Well, you're all wrong! It's not like I killed anyone or had an affair, why are you all saying my kids should be taken into care, blah blah blah.

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 23:22

@ADropofReality makes no difference whether it’s a gay couple or a straight couple and really nothing to do with female socialism.

It’s just one partner doing something nice for the other. He asked for a cake, she was too knackered and did the next best thing. Result...a happy partner.

HettieBettie · 24/02/2019 23:23

Lol Op you’re my new favourite mumsnetter.

DistanceCall · 24/02/2019 23:41

t’s just one partner doing something nice for the other. He asked for a cake, she was too knackered and did the next best thing. Result...a happy partner.

No, actually. The next best thing would have been buying a cake and saying "Honey, I'm knackered, but here's a cake I bought for you". Result... a happy and not-lied-to partner.

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 23:49

But that is not the way she decided to do it Distance - far less amusing for her and a boring read for us. Other posters on here have consulted their DHs who have found this funny and along with the OP don’t think it a big issue.

As I said upthread, everyone is different in their relationship and for some it is not that big of a deal.

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2019 23:49

we have slowly enjoyed this throughout our lazy Sunday in between walking on the seafront in this lovely weather and getting everything ready for the return to school and nursery tomorrow yay!

I'm glad to hear that because I only put 2 + 2 together when a PP mentioned your relationship. Now I realise it's you, a lazy Sunday together as a family sounds like it's just what you need.

And honestly, I mean that with 100% no sarcasm or any other 'hidden agenda'.

I still think the whole cake thing is bonkers though, but there you go.

aariah08 · 24/02/2019 23:50

Hahaha I think it’s hilarious. I love that you messed it a bit to make it look homemade!!!

aariah08 · 24/02/2019 23:55

I can’t believe people are basically calling you a master manipulator because of a freaking cake. Geeze get a sense of humour. I highly doubt your husband is going to need therapy for trust issues if he finds out. In fact I think if you wait a while and tell him, you’ll have a good laugh about it!!!

aariah08 · 24/02/2019 23:59

bacardi101 I love it 😂😂😊

LineEyesForever · 25/02/2019 00:04

Lol this post is so funny why are people getting so dramatic over it

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