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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretending that I did it ...

520 replies

Glitterzzz · 23/02/2019 20:00

So.. I am no chef but I can bake.. my OH asked me for a carrot cake sometime soon.. usually I would be happy to run round the supermarket get the ingredients and stand in the kitchen to turn out a half decent baked delight some hours later

But

I’m tired. It’s half term. I’m run crazy with two children with additional needs, no school or nursery breaks and trying to keep the house and I’m on a diet myself ... so I cheated.

I contacted a cake maker ordered the cake and was gutted to see how professional it looked when I collected it today considering how much u paid for it... in the need to make it seem I baked it lovingly for him I brought it home and have roughed it up a little... ( smudges in the Cream cheese frosting, a dent here a dent there and whizzed up some pecans and walnuts and whacked them on top...

Unfortunately the real baker had gone to the effort of making little sugar paste carrot decorations which she seems to have apples with a orange substance so I removed them and will just say I attempted a decoration that failed...

Does this cake look home made but not too fancy/ professional? Why do I even care ? 😂😂 I guess I love him and wanted to give him something he wanted and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked

Pretending that I did it ...
OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2019 18:01

palaver I’m not saying allergies are rubbish, I’m saying you’re talking rubbish. There’s no way the PTA are asking for home made cakes to avoid allergic reactions to ingredients. You’re not seriously saying a home baker can guarantee a nut free environment?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 24/02/2019 18:05

PTA wanted home made because they think it’s more rustic,artisanal etc
No ingredient list was requested,no restrictions on ingredients stipulated
They simply wanted home made,no shop bought. Their preference was mommy made cake

manicmij · 24/02/2019 18:10

Why didn't you just buy a box of cake mix? With all the faffing about you have had could have had it made in no time and cost a fraction of what you probably paid for the professional one. Or promise to make the cake once school is back.

bethy15 · 24/02/2019 18:11

Pretty odd behaviour, especially as you was too tired to get all the things out and wash up, but you've created a mess to make it appear homemade.

And any praise will not be for you anyway, you won't be impressing him.

Just be honest and say you was tired so bought him a special cake of his own.

gamerwidow · 24/02/2019 18:19

PTA wanted home made because they think it’s more rustic,artisanal etc
I don’t get this when I was chair of the PTA I just wanted cake to sell I didn’t care if it was shop bought or home made. Apart from anything else I don’t eat anything home made unless I know the person well and I’ve seen their kitchen and hygiene habits after being given food poisoning from some of the home baked goods one year.

moon2 · 24/02/2019 18:20

You crack me up! It’s nice that you want to make him happy. I’d be too tired for all that drama to make it convincing and just tell him straight I cheated because I was knackered. Just tell him you faked making it yourself because you felt guilty that you were too tired to make it and say sorry but does he like it anyway? Honesty after a silly lie is better than covering with more lies. If he’s a nice guy he’ll laugh at you and all will be forgiven.

SimoneStrasser · 24/02/2019 18:21

The cake looks delicious, love carrot cake Cake.

I wouldn’t be able to keep the secret up, I’d be blurting it out on seeing dhGrin.

I don’t see the issue,OP has done something she’s comfortable with but made the mistake of not expecting the ConfusedHmmShock looks from the more serious mnetters Grin.

I’ve never made my own carrot cake, too much grating for me.

gamerwidow · 24/02/2019 18:22

You do know that they requested no to shop bought due to health and safety issues
There is no way on earth I would feed a child with allergies a home made cake of unknown providence. My neice has a bit allergy and when ever we are out we have to see the ingredients list and sometimes read the box the ingredients come in and speak to the chef for everything she eats.

Palaver1 · 24/02/2019 18:22

Daisy
Why the abuse why the words rubbish all that although i dont agree with you never once have i said anything abusive
Who are you to say someone talking rubbish

gubbsywubbsy · 24/02/2019 18:24

Why wouldn't a super Market one do? Coop make a Lovely carrot cake !

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2019 18:25

Who are you to say someone talking rubbish
It’s a discussion forum. I have explained the reasons for saying you’re taking nonsense. Other posters have agreed with me.

I notice that you’ve now moved away from defending your opinion to criticising me personally.

IvanaPee · 24/02/2019 18:29

Palaver, you are absolutely talking rubbish to be fair!

You’re telling me that someone with allergies so severe that a shop-bought cake is dangerous, can trust a cake from someone’s house with now way of knowing what ingredients are in it?

Bignosenobum · 24/02/2019 18:38

If he is a chef why didn't he make the cake? I have been with my husband 30 years and he has never asked to make a cake. The time you took u could have baked your own cake. Why are you so tired? Jot just with kids but you said you had to drive to pick up the cake. Sorry really don't understand. Why eould you not want to tell him the truth. Maybe he needs to knowhow much you do?

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 18:40

Palaver it might have sounded blunt, but this is true. As a caterer I had to be up on hygiene practices. As a mum I was very aware that if I used a wooden board to say chop nuts for cookies and then used the same board to chop chocolate for say other cookies (think kids birthday party) that it may well be a risk for someone with a nut allergy. Luckily my kids friends never had any allergies that I was told about.

Yes there have been incidences from companies like that from Pret, but this is very unusual hence the press exposure. There would be way more risk from home baked goods.

I would way more believe an ingredient list from something shop bought than something home made that might have had unwitting exposure to other ingredients.

Palaver1 · 24/02/2019 18:41

Ivana go back and read from the beginning
Daisy .....

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 18:42

And for those asking why he didn’t make the cake.....you are missing the whole point of the thread, as well as not reading it properly.

Bignosenobum · 24/02/2019 18:43

I think people are incredulous because it is odd. That you would go to such lengths to please your husband when you are v tired and are looking after two children.
Why not say , "Im really tired". Plus to go to such lengths about a cake? Who caresabout a cake...

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2019 18:45

Daisy .....

Yes?

MadMadaMim · 24/02/2019 18:47

Sickly in love couple (OP's words)
One half believes that taking pleasure from impressing other half with something they didn't do and lies about it = love
Same half deluded herself that an ex chef whom she's been with for 4 years won't know if a cake she claims as hers, is in fact hers.
Same half compares lying to other half to the fantasy tales we let out children live for a few years.
same half cannot understand or accept that this behaviour is not that of a stable, sane, happy person.
as often happens, OP gets offended and defensive and signs off never to be seen again.

I don't believe a word of it. Either it's a half made up story or, this amazing love is a facade - you're lying to him and you've out him in a position where he has to reciprocate that lie.

Even if he wasn't a chef and had lived with you for any length of time, he'd know you didn't bake it.

Just wasted half an hour I'll never get back!

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 18:47

If he is a chef why didn't he make the cake?

Suggesting that the DH make his own treat is as bonkers as OP lying about making it Hmm

Pk37 · 24/02/2019 18:48

This is not normal even by MN standards.
Why go to all that trouble for a bloody cake ?
Down right bizarre

Bignosenobum · 24/02/2019 18:50

OP do ehat you want. Its your life. Ive already spent enough time on this thread.

Leapfrog44 · 24/02/2019 18:55

he'll never know - looks fine

SparklySneakers · 24/02/2019 19:01

Just waiting for the media to get hold of this and then the deletion messsge citing privacy issues Grin

IHateUncleJamie · 24/02/2019 19:12

fragile limits on honesty and are so insecure

Ok Donald Trump. I still think you’re weird and dishonest for going to such lengths to lie in order to impress your DP and bask in his praise of a cake you didn’t make. Still, if it makes you feel better to project YOUR insecurity onto the rest of us, crack on. 😂