Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

247 replies

theresnoonequitelikegrandma · 23/02/2019 13:49

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

OP posts:
frothysloth · 25/02/2019 08:31

Also maybe do your own laundry? I’m a sahm and dh does his.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 25/02/2019 10:05

I think YABU in treating your husband like a servant, and disrespectfully on top of that. If my husband threw a tantrum over a shrunken jumper washed at the correct temperature, he’d be doing all of his laundry from then on.

Why does your husband let you treat him like that?

lboogy · 25/02/2019 12:57

I think at the root of this is that OP is resentful of husband being the SAHP and therefore expects him to be 100% perfect to justify the lifestyle that she gives him

outpinked · 25/02/2019 13:10

A few weeks ago I accidentally put my DP’s football shirt in the tumble dryer and it fucked up the logos. He didn’t hate me or get angry at me, he just bought a new one.

Obviously you can’t get that exact jumper again so it’s more annoying (although maybe check out eBay?) but it really is just a jumper...

missstyfied · 25/02/2019 13:34

I was a gamesmaker at London 2012. Part of the kit was a drinks bottle that OH put in the dishwasher (I had told him it couldn't go in there) and came out as a shrivelled lump of plastic. I was gutted and it's proved to be irreplaceable (he's still looking Grin seven years down the line) but in the end it's a bottle. I was pissed off. He was mortified. But nobody died

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 25/02/2019 13:44

I am amazed at the number of people on this thread who haven't come across a wool cycle on a washing machine before. Confused They are not a new thing. I am sure I have had wool cycles since I first played at being an adult 30 years ago.

I suspect it was the newness and the fact that it was a gift that caused OP's rage.

DarlingNikita · 25/02/2019 13:48

I am amazed at the number of people on this thread who haven't come across a wool cycle on a washing machine before

I know.

It's my most-used cycle. Everything apart from underwear, gym clothes and bed/kitchen linens go in a 30 wool.

youwantathingamibob · 25/02/2019 13:55

I wouldnt have known what the two lines meant either but then again if I wanted to wash something that was wool I'd either text my mum and ask her or Google which setting because I've never had anything wool to wash before. It's an easy mistake to make if you've never encountered it before.

I would be upset if my favourite piece of clothing was ruined due to a mistake but he's offered to replace it, they isn't much more you can do really - except clicking buy on the jumper you found in the sale straight away instead of waiting for him to come look but that's done now too. You're allowed to be upset by it but taking it out on your DH isn't going to change anything so I suggest you move on and use this as leverage when you find something new you desperately want.

storynanny · 25/02/2019 14:12

I can understand your disappointment but you will find another one just as lovely Im sure.
Is he careless about stuff? Or was it a genuine accident?
Ive given up buying nice jumpers due to the upkeep! I buy nice cheap ones and replace them frequently.
I knit lits for my granchildren and can see that when Ive used merino baby wool they dont wash and wear as well as those in a acrylic/wool mix even though theyhave been through a gentle machine wash.
Years ago a lady knitted my firstborn a cashmere christening gown and jacket. I lent it to my sister and she shrank it . I was disappointed but life is too short etc.
Did he know how expensive it was? Is he careful with his own laundry?
Notbthe same thing , but years ago in the days of vudeo recording programmes when you went out, whenever I asked for corrie to be recorded it never seemed to be done properly. However recordings of match of the day were always perfect because it was their thing whereas corrie wasnt!

PCohle · 25/02/2019 14:14

It was an accident and he has apologised and tried to put it right.

You sound high maintenance. Why on earth can't you bear to look to at him?

BlueSkiesLies · 25/02/2019 14:26

There’s no way something that is ok for a 30 wool wash has been shrunk byond redemption by a 30 normal wash.

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 25/02/2019 14:33

Yes there is - my normal 30 wash spins at 1600. The wool wash is only a 400 spin. The degree of vigour in the general churning is different too.

PBo83 · 25/02/2019 14:42

I bought a white Stone Island jumper last year (woolly fisherman-type thing) and my wife did the same thing.

Yes, I was gutted as it cost me a fortune but these things happen, it's not like she did it on purpose. Besides, she does the majority of the domestic work (I work full time) so how could I possibly complain even if I wanted to.

So, yes, you are being unreasonable and 'to not be able to look at him' is both melodramatic and unfair. He obviously feels bad, has offered to fix it in whatever way he can and you're now making him feel worse...over a bloody jumper?

joggingon · 25/02/2019 14:46

In this household I do the laundry. You put it in at your own risk. If something is special/ delicate it's your responsibility to put it to one side. I haven't got time to read every label. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I would be pissed off too. 😞

PBo83 · 25/02/2019 14:56

@joggingon

That's not harsh at all. If I do something then I don't expect someone to come after me if I don't do it 100% right, 100% of the time.

MadAboutWands · 25/02/2019 15:22

you're now making him feel worse...over a bloody jumper?

Butbthe pontbis that it is NOT a bloody jumpervthat she bought in the sale last week.
It’s one that HER FRIEND gave her. It has a sentimental value that something you’ve bought yourself doesn’t have.

I’m sure that most people in here who are saying that it doesn’t matter wouod be upset if something they attached MEANING to had been destroyed. Nit just a jumper.
I mean, imagine. You’ve just been given a nice bracket or a pendant from a friend or your DP and someone else destroys because they are careless (and not reading the label is careless, sorry), wouod be happy with it and just forget?
I KNOW the normal answer is to be upset and hurt. MN is full of those threads.
But somehow it’s ok to dictate to someone how to feel about an item they care about being destroyed. Just because for most posters it doesn’t matter.

Great. I hadn’t realised that if something doesnt matter to someone, then it shouodnt matter to me either Hmm

MegCharlotte · 25/02/2019 15:57

The rule in my house is that everything goes in the wash at 30 degrees (unless towels/bedding and they go in at 40)
If you have an item that has special washing instructions, you are responsible for washing it.
Saves situations like this!

Sb74 · 25/02/2019 16:56

I agree with the post about the op feeling resentful at her op being stay at home parent. I’ve been in a situation where partner wasn’t working for a while and I was paying for everything. Wasn’t by choice. As much as I love him and supported him I felt very frustrated and annoyed. I just don’t think it sits right the other way around at the moment. I’m very independent but guess have traditional values in me and I I think people feel differently about stay at home men. Include their partner!!??

Looby4 · 25/02/2019 16:58

YABU I had a merino jumper from Jigsaw - did the same as your DH, it said 30 but I didn't trust that. I washed it cold and it still shrunk. Got a full refund. I'd say it was Jigsaw not DH.

DistanceCall · 25/02/2019 22:21

But then you run the risk of getting accused of being patronising / controlling / bossy / horning in on someone else's racket / teaching your granny to suck eggs

Well, if you are SO worried about your delicates, and you are SO worried about your partner accusing you of being controlling (in which case frankly you have a partner problem), then you wash your own delicates however you like and be done with it. I would never allow anyone to wash my expensive underwear, for example.

mathanxiety · 26/02/2019 02:39

Her H has actually taken the hump about this, so maybe she does have a H problem.

SoupDragon · 26/02/2019 07:31

Her H has actually taken the hump about this

Has he?

SoupDragon · 26/02/2019 07:32

The OP is the one who left the house in a sulk.

zingally · 26/02/2019 08:09

YRBU.
It was an accident. He didn't get up that morning to put a wash on, thinking "I know, let's ruin that jumper". At the end of the day, it's JUST a jumper.
He's offered to replace it with something else you'd like. I'm sure he'll be more careful next time. Or next time, make sure you deal with any item that needs special care.

pigsDOfly · 26/02/2019 09:58

mathanxiety Where does it say her husband has taken the hump?

He offered to replace the damaged jumper but the OP said she left the house because she 'couldn't look at him'. I've read most of the thread, admittedly I might have skipped a couple of more recent pages, did I miss something?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread