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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

247 replies

theresnoonequitelikegrandma · 23/02/2019 13:49

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

OP posts:
KarenCBC · 26/02/2019 17:09

Fully sympathise. I’d be annoyed too. And for all those saying yabu, I think you fully have a right to have a little grump now and then. It’s obviously not going to lead to divorce. I imagine you’re already over it xx

Butchyrestingface · 26/02/2019 17:42

I didn't even know wool cycle was a thing

Glad I'm not the only domestic goddess on this thread. BlushGrin

hedgeharris · 26/02/2019 17:55

I’ve shrunk boden ‘washable’ cashmere and wool before - I do reckon it’s the spin not the temp that has done it. Also it might explain why they bobble so much!

I’ve clearly not paid enough attention to the squiggles either!

For really delicate jumpers I always wear something under as cashmere isn’t improved by washing

mathanxiety · 27/02/2019 04:10

He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear.

To me, 'insisted' indicates that there was some back and forth between them where he dug in and wouldn't accept that he wan't careful blames the washing instructions for the result of his own lack of common sense, and obv he hasn't apologised, hence my opinion that he has taken the hump.

mathanxiety · 27/02/2019 04:11

*that he wasn't careful and blames....

mathanxiety · 27/02/2019 04:17

And unless we are to believe that the OP flies off the handle with very little provocation I would say that she walked out of the house unable to look at her H because he would not budge from the 'unclear washing instructions' narrative for a considerable time.

jalopy · 27/02/2019 07:05

Is this all about the jumper though?

SoupDragon · 27/02/2019 14:11

And unless we are to believe that the OP flies off the handle with very little provocation I would say that she walked out of the house unable to look at her H because he would not budge from the 'unclear washing instructions' narrative for a considerable time.

I would say it is more likely the OP went off in a huff given that is the information she has given.

SparkiePolastri · 27/02/2019 16:50

Well, she's gone off in a huff from this thread, so...

mathanxiety · 28/02/2019 03:16

We can't assume she's gone off in a huff from this thread.

SoupDragon, yes, she went off in a huff from her H, but my point was that the H seems to have 'insisted' at length that he wasn't in the wrong and wouldn't apologise. Not that she didn't leave in a huff after the argument.

SparkiePolastri · 28/02/2019 04:01

I can assume she has left the thread in a huff (given she hasn't been back), just as you have assumed he's 'acted all put upon'!

He's entitled to defend himself - it said to wash at 30, and he washed it at 30.

I've seen enough of your posts Math to know that you'd be 100% more lenient to a SAHM in this position.

And again, this is exactly why I couldn't ever be a SAHM.

To have some fuckwit actually saying, 'you had one job...' at me would be beyond soul-destroying.

mathanxiety · 28/02/2019 05:31

To defend yourself to the point where you refuse to acknowledge that a specific item that you destroyed was special is not right, and it doesn't matter if it's a SAHM or SAHD who has complained, or which of them ruined the item in the wash. It must have been clear to him that the OP was upset beyond the point where the response 'I'll get you another jumper' would be enough.

It said to wash it at 30 with the two lines underneath that indicate a wool wash.

I am suspicious of people telling a woman to get over it more graciously when a male partner won't acknowledge her feelings and won't apologise. It's easy to come across as an ungrateful b---h when a man does a job that millions of women do day in and day out for partners and families because it appears to some as if that man is doing the woman a favour.

Monty27 · 28/02/2019 05:51

Do your specialist laundry yourself? Brew

SparkiePolastri · 28/02/2019 09:59

You have no idea to what extent he defended himself - no more than any of us. Confused

I had no idea until this thread that two lines meant wool wash - and that washing it at 30, even though it instructs you to do that, might still damage it - so I don't blame him for not knowing either.

I'm not telling the OP to 'get over it', I'm just saying 'don't be a total arsehole', in a 'would you like to be treated this way, if the tables were turned' manner.

mathanxiety · 01/03/2019 01:58

The OP used the phrase 'insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear', and said he refused to apologise. This indicates to me that either the argument they had was a long one or the H was very adamant. It also indicates that the H was under a lot of pressure from the OP but wouldn't budge.

SparkiePolastri · 01/03/2019 03:33

Have it, take it, it yours.

The husband is an inept idiot, and should be flagellated forthwith.

Monty27 · 01/03/2019 05:09

It didn't just say wash at 30. There was another washing sign. 30 but something else but I can't remember now since yesterday. There was two dots or something underneath the 30
Anyway I find it astonishing how people don't understand how to look after their clothes.
It was hardly a bunch of Primark t-shirts OP. I certainly wouldn't have chucked such a precious garment in the generic laundry basket Shock
Did you have maids or something in your passed life? Confused

mathanxiety · 01/03/2019 06:37

Or he could just apologise...

Monty27 · 01/03/2019 06:41

I think offering to replace the jumper is more than an apology.
Jeez OP I feel sorry for him Hmm

mathanxiety · 01/03/2019 06:45

I find it astonishing how people don't understand how to look after their clothes.
She does know how to look after her clothes. She knows the fabric content of her jumper and she knows what the laundry label symbol means.

It was hardly a bunch of Primark t-shirts OP. I certainly wouldn't have chucked such a precious garment in the generic laundry basket Shock
Yes, the H should definitely have been more careful.

Massive swerve into illogicality follows...

Did you have maids or something in your passed life?
Her mistake was to assume that someone who has voluntarily taken on responsibility for the laundry would have made it his business to become as knowledgeable as she is about how to care for the clothing he has agreed to care for.

For this she gets told off with comments about maids in her past life. Her jumper is ruined and it is apparently her fault for not doing it herself.

Bizarre.

mathanxiety · 01/03/2019 06:45

Women can't win for losing, can they...

Babygrey7 · 01/03/2019 06:47

Merino should not shrink like that

Take it up with Jigsaw

I have washed Merino jumpers along with other 30 stuff very often (did not know that 30'with a line under it meant wool wash! Blush)

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