To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

[theresnoonequitelikegrandma]

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

I don't really get why you would put a woollen item in the laundry basket with the rest of the laundry.

I have to say, if I was a SAHM, and I did all DH's laundry for him, and made a mistake with one item and he reacted like this, I'd think 'fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you ungrateful git'.

But that's why I'm not a SAHM. Because doing all the relentless, thankless shit - and then getting a hard time for it - is soul-destroying.

YABU for your ridiculous over the top reaction "I can't look at him" who do you think you are? Sorry but you sound like a spoilt princess, heaven forbid you would have something proper to worry about

I’ve had success un-shrinking cashmere. My DP never reads the labels (although we share everything 50/50 A’s both work), and has shrunk half a dozen lovely mainly new jumpers and cardigans. But he always says sorry and (mostly) replaces them so you’re not BU.

I tried this, and it worked on a cashmere jumper but took a bit of time:
Run a quarter of the bath with warm water and empty the entire contents of a large (doesn’t have to be expensive but watch for colours if your top is light) bottle of hair conditioner. Leave it to throughly soak for half an hour.
Add more warm water and gently stretch the material whilst it’s under water. Stretch in opposite directions gently but firmly enough to change the shape.
Keep going until it’s back to its original size. If it’s reaches the stage where it won’t stretch anymore, either add another bottle of conditioner and try again, or resign yourself to the fact it’s dead

We now have an agreement and I keep separate anything that could be ruined and make sure I wash myself. You could try that and fit it in, I don’t get home from work until 8pm and still share all of the chores.
Good luck!

But that's why I'm not a SAHM. Because doing all the relentless, thankless shit - and then getting a hard time for it - is soul-destroying.

Amen!

If he’s chosen to be a house husband, then that means doing the job properly. I would be livid. At the very least he should apologise

Not amen!

Wind your neck in OP.

It was a mistake. He did read the label but got it wrong. He fessed up. He said he would replace it.

It's not his fault the replacement sold out because you were procrastinating and wanting him to come and look at it online. Why didn't you just buy it using your full time salary?

Accidents happen. Pick another jumper.

And why is your husband responsible for 'all household tasks' because you work full time.? If a man said that on here he would have his arse handed to him on a plate.

Working full time doesn't absent you from domestic life. Just like a housewife no longer has to have the dinner on the table waiting for the breadwinner to come back from work.

I think to say 'you can't look at him' is kind of extreme. It is a jumper.

*And why is your husband responsible for 'all household tasks' because you work full time.? If a man said that on here he would have his arse handed to him on a plate.

Working full time doesn't absent you from domestic life*

Totally this. He is your husband not your domestic slave.

I still remember a lovely lavender coloured twin set (bear with me, this was over 20 years ago) my DH shrank in the wash when he was the stay at home parent. I've taken over the washing ever since.

I was given a beautiful hand knitted shawl by a friend some years ago. Alpaca wool, a beautiful pink colour, crocheted lace edging . I wore it every day throughout the winter. End of last winter, I thought I´d give it a wash and put it in the machine. And then I forgot it was there, bunged in the bed sheets and washed them all at 90 degrees. My beautiful shawl came out a mangled piece of felt. I didn't just cry, I howled. No-one put myself to blame though.

I’d be upset too. Definitely get in touch with jigsaw though - they’ve been great at tracking things down for me in the past

Totally this. He is your husband not your domestic slave

Indeed. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok for him to shrink the OP’s brand new jumper.

Indeed. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok for him to shrink the OP’s brand new jumper.

Nobody's said 'it's OK to shrink the OP's jumper'.

Mistakes happen?

Of course they do but no need for the “he’s not your slave” shit.

Yabu. I do the washing and I wouldn’t know what 2 lines under the 30 means .
Give him a break

@theresnoonequitelikegrandma
Why is it always Jigsaw jumpers!
This happened to me prior to kids.
DH decided to do a load of washing and lovely grey cardigan was shrank to size only a 8 year old could wear.
Came in handy for DN following a chilly BBQ...

I think if he’d apologised you wouldn’t have felt so cross.

DH is always ruining things of mine including breaking one of the only gifts my late father bought me. This week he managed to catch his elbow on a picture on the mantel and brought everything crashing down. Several expensive candles and 2 items from my homeland that are irreplaceable. The twat. At least he said sorry and was very remorseful.

If he’s chosen to be a house husband, then that means doing the job properly.

Honestly would you say this to a SAHM? Taking care of the household tasks doesn't mean you're utterly infallible and need to be banished if you make a single mistake.

I'm really shocked at a lot of the responses here. He absolutely should apologise but it was also a mistake. So many posts about the general uselessness of men which just does a disservice to everyone.

I sometimes wonder how deliberate some of these acts of destruction are. I guess if anybody's dh ruins their wifs's stuff, they also ruin their own stuff too, right? Right?

There definitely have been threads where there did seem to be a passive aggressive element to men repeatedly ruining things. I wasn't getting that sense form this one though. I think it was a mistake, and DH didn't apologise because he felt stupid and wanted to blame the label.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking of the op, just generally.

Easily done I'm afraid! Upsetting and frustrating but not worth falling out over. I'm sure he feels terrible, especially given that you are so upset about it. Surely his feelings and your relationship are more important.

Make a tea cosy out of it.

Yeah, there's definitely twats that do it deliberately, but you can generally tell as it never happens to their own stuff. Obviously.

Otherwise, they're just clumsy menaces and there's not much to be done.

Well I've never ruined some of mine,but that's because the majority of clothes I own don't get ruined by a 40 normal wash,or the dryer.

He's done you a favour anyway. I'm a sucker for expensive wool or cashmere jumpers but what a ball ache they are. They're constantly at the bottom of the washing basket waiting for the right time to make sure they're washed properly.

Special washes, finding somewhere to hang flat, de bobbling etc. Too much work.

I curse myself after the first luxurious wear when I buy one.