To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

[theresnoonequitelikegrandma]

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

I would be upset too.

Last week my partner put my Kitchenaid food processor in the oven as it needed washing and we had a house viewing.

He forgot he had done it and later roasted it at 220 degrees. He doesn't work either, so can't buy me another. I was royally pissed off but held it back because he was so cross with himself. But the next day there was another careless thing and I'm afraid I lost it. I just felt that I have been inconvenienced by his being careless. I hate it when he gets all defensive too.

I shrunk my favourite LK Bennet cardigan a while ago. It is horrible.

I'd be annoyed and upset too. I'd be even more annoyed to not even get an apology!
Mistakes happen but even if it wasn't intentional, he should still have apologised and done his best to try and sort it.

Yanbu have a look at eBay jigsaw have an outlet store

I have done this a few times with DH's woolly jumpers. It's so easy for them to slip in by mistake if they're at the bottom of the washing basket.

My best one was his lovely green Rocha one that conveniently shrank to the perfect size for me so I wore it a few times until I put on a normal wash by mistake AGAIN and DS got to wear it until he grew out of it. I am banned from washing DH's jumpers now.

It's upsetting particularly if it's something that you really liked and it was gifted to you but these things happen. I once bought DH a really expensive Ralph Lauren jumper for Christmas and did the same as your DH. Didn't do it on purpose (even though I should have known better) and was doubly annoyed to have done it and to know how much it cost.

I think there's something to be said for ensuring that delicate items are handwashed TBQH. It's all too easy not to be checking washing instructions on individual garments before a wash.

I was mortified each time and apologised profusely though!

but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out

I don't understand this either. Why did he need to come over?

Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

And? That doesn't mean it can't be machine washed. I've made blankets from 100% merino that are machine washable. I had no idea that two lines under the symbol meant a delicate wash until I googled it just now.

I think that not being able to look at him is a ridiculous over reaction.

My Mum put a Hermes cashmere blanket scarf in the wash and shrunk it to the size of a child's scarf. Fair enough I found it in a charity shop but it was worth hundreds of pounds and I always thought I'd sell it one day. What can you do 🤷‍♀️. I had a little "ffs" moment but then you've got to let it go.

She wasn't even supposed to do my washing, I just left it at her house 🙄. All I know is, when I make a mistake and people go bonkers about it it's horrible but it's wonderful when people forgive you ... the relief.

People put way too much value of material possessions.

Having said that, occasionally (if I'm skint) I think "if only my bloody Mum didn't ruin that scarf I could have sold that". It was about 5 years ago but it still festers in my brain a bit obviously 😂

I'm reasonably sure that when I've read these threads with the sexes reversed, the woman posting is told to tell the man to do his own laundry in future.

The silver lining to this is - do you have a 5 year old?
Also, if you have an expensive, Jack Willis "down" jacket - tell your DH there is a special wash liquid for it - so don't use the usual stuff! (My darling daughter was very gracious).
Every day's a school day

DH does all our washing, we've had the odd accident similar to yours. I now keep delicate knitwear separate. You do get over it. I do owe him an indulgence as early in our relationship I shrunk his grandfather's regimental scarf that was one of his only mementos . Yanbu to be annoyed for a bit.

Where did you put it. If you put it with the rest of the laundry to be honest you are lucky that he noticed it was a 30 degree wash. Anything my family put in the laundry basket gets done as per the rest of the washing. Anything delicate they do themselves I am not their slave

If you knew it was that delicate why didn’t you do it yourself working full time still leaves some hours

Give it a rest. They’re happy with their division of labour, myob

I'm happy with the division of labour in my house too, but if my Dh went off in a strop about a shrunken item of clothing I'd ensure he do his own laundry from then on. As for minding my own business, this is a public forum on which any member of the public can post. If everyone minded their own business who would reply to posts at all?

You're being utterly ridiculous storming out over a jumper, but I suspect you know that anyway.

No one died, no one is seriously hurt. It's an item of clothing.
Shit happens.

Saying that, he's being a bit of an arse for not apologising.
But it's still only a jumper.

Give it a rest. They're happy with their division of labour, myob.

Telling someone to 'mind your own business' on an internet forum, when the OP has come on here with the express purpose of telling everyone on here her business in order to solicit responses makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

YABU . I fucked up some of OH's clothes,shit happens. It doesn't mean I'm careless,stupid or whatever else. Either I forgot to check a label,forgot to take it out before drying or it was mixed with other stuff. If OH made a big song and dance about it or left the house because he couldn't look at me, would he fuck get an apology,or anything else washed.

As it stands,he normally laughs or shakes his head,might do a ffs ,then makes me laugh by trying to put whatever it was on and joke about it, so I do apologise and replace what I've fucked up without even him asking. I'm not a dick because he isn't either.

I feel your pain. My Aunt knitted my DC a jumper out of a very good quality wool and my DH chucked it in a hot wash, shrinking it to half the size and turning it to a felt like material. I was so upset at the time and even thinking about it now months later I feel a bit gutted. It is ridiculous I know, it was just such a lovely jumper that she had gone to a lot of trouble to knit and I know my DC would have got loads of wear out of it First problems, I know!

My mom tumble dried my lambs wool jumper she also tumble dried my disappear species tshirt which when you got warm the endangered animal disappears iyswim I was pissed off

Yanbu

YABU and totally over the top. Seriously. I've just been at work with a suicidal person on the very edge, for very good reasons- get yourself a grip my friend.

Argh I do feel your pain! My DH has done this a handful of times - the first time I was able to overlook it as ignorance... since then I’m always heartbroken to lose a loved (and usually expensive) item; ridiculously, I find it hard to move on. Hand knits are even worse!

I realise it’s an overreaction but I’m very attached to my clothes, perhaps because I hate shopping and the work involved in replacing an item seems so onerous. If he had gone all out to find a replacement and been apologetic I wouldn’t mind so much but the simple shrug of “shit happens” when it’s actually carelessness gives me the rage.

I feel for you. A while back I washed my favourite Toast jumper. I usually use the cold wool cycle for jumpers. Sadly I forgot, and used the 30 degree wool cycle. It shrunk. A lot! I tried stretching it out, but it didn't work. It was old, it was balding under the arms. But I loved that jumper. I was most upset with myself.

I’d be upset too, yes it’s only a jumper but it was something special.

DH shrunk a silk blouse of mine once after just scooping it up with other washing so I get your frustration.

sausagepastapot

YABU and totally over the top. Seriously. I've just been at work with a suicidal person on the very edge, for very good reasons- get yourself a grip my friend

Honestly? Jeez there’s loads of shit going on in the world right now but it doesn’t mean people can’t be annoyed at other stuff you deem as nothing!

I don’t think you’re being over the top.

If he’s chosen to be a house husband, then that means doing the job properly. I would be livid. At the very least he should apologise.