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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

247 replies

theresnoonequitelikegrandma · 23/02/2019 13:49

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 24/02/2019 19:48

But can you not trust your H to take care of things that are precious to you?

Port1ajazz · 24/02/2019 19:55

Theresnoonequitelikegrandma , if you look online under how to unshrink a shrunk sweater there is a process that might help !

PurplePenguins · 24/02/2019 19:57

If he washed it at 30° it shouldn't have shrunk. I'd contact Jigsaw and see what they say. Others might have had the same problem.

BeanTownNancy · 24/02/2019 20:26

There's such a thing as a wool wash?! Confused

(I'm a peasant who can't afford fancy clothes. Everything gets bunged in at 30 and hung on the airer - if it doesn't survive it goes in the bin.)

Vinylsamso · 24/02/2019 20:30

I read somewhere that it's actually the intensive rumbling around that ruins wool in a normal wash. The friction is what ruins it not so much the heat. So the difference in a wool wash is that it goes round really slow. Therefore saying it shouldn't have shrunk in a normal wash is wrong.

I do everything wool and even dry clean in a cold wool wash, I still ruin nearly everything I own of nice quality eventually though. Usually by bundling things into the wrong wash.

I've only ever taken a few things to the dry cleaners but I've always been bitterly disappointed. They look mucky when they come back.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 24/02/2019 20:35

Admit I’ve not read everything as I didn’t want to wade through pages of posts interrogating the OP about if it really needed washing etc...

I’d be annoyed. Not just that it was ruined but at the casual attitude. I know if that was me that shrank it I’d be trying to replace it with a bit more enthusiasm. Set up a search on eBay (sorry if already suggested) sometimes it takes a while but things do pop up eventually!

Omzlas · 24/02/2019 20:53

It's a jumper, not your first born, get a grip

FWIW, I (and after RTFT, many others too) weren't aware of the lines on care labels

I'd be taking it back to the shop, put the burden of care onto them and let them replace it because it shrank in the wash

Pepsimaxrock · 24/02/2019 21:00

Look for it on eBay. It’s likely to come up eventually. I did this with a coat I accidentally left in Brisbane airport end November which couldn’t be traced.
Eventually one came up for sale beginning Feb. My size! It’s never been off my back since

itsbritneybiatches · 24/02/2019 21:00

eBay?

EllenMP · 24/02/2019 21:46

Nope. You are being ridiculous. I do the laundry here and have accidentally ruined a couple of DHs things. I would be furious if he complained about it. If it says 30 and he washed it at 30 then that is reasonable. If you have something that needs special care you should keep it out of the family laundry and either wash it yourself or take it to the dry cleaner. Especially if you are as attached to your clothes as you seem to be. I would not die on this hill if I were you. Mistake made, lesson learned, move on.

aariah08 · 24/02/2019 22:10

If a dad wrote this post about a SAHM being responsible for ‘all the housework’ and then complaining about her shrinking a work shirt, we would be all up in arms about what an arrogant prick he was. He made a mistake, you liked the jumper I get it. But this is ridiculous move on!

rainbowbear10 · 24/02/2019 22:28

i did exactly the same with a lambswool jumper and shrunk it .. sometimes if you put it in cold water and stetch it.. it might get a bit bigger.

my daughter got a t shirt for Christmas with metalic / glittery print slogan on it and i put it in a 30 wash and all the print came off ....only when i read it it said handwash in cold water ..never heard of that before for a t shirt

DistanceCall · 24/02/2019 22:28

You sound horrible, OP. Your husband made a mistake. It was a bloody jumper. Yes, it's understandable that you're upset, but you're being ridiculous. (And the whole business about seeing the jumper online and waiting for him to see it - what's that about?)

If the situation was gender-reversed - i.e. a husband complaining about his wife making a mistake with the wash - you would have been stoned to death on here.

DistanceCall · 24/02/2019 22:29

But can you not trust your H to take care of things that are precious to you?

If you want someone to "take care of things that are precious to you" you make sure that you explain to them EXACTLY how to take care of them beforehand. The onus is on you, not them.

PentreBachCymraeg · 24/02/2019 22:37

Can i see the jumper?

Grin
UncomfortableSecret · 24/02/2019 23:28

Wow. And you never make mistakes?

I'll come with a slightly different take on this: the thing is/was almost 100% merino wool.

You really, really do not need to wash 100% wool items as often as you'd wash cotton, viscose, polyester etc. Wool shrugs off superficial dirt and odour. Merino wool is particularly good at this, in fact. I handknit socks and can wear them two or three times before (hand) washing them - they're fine, they don't stink after one wear and I don't think they're dirty. I have a lot of cashmere cardigans (almost all charity shop buys) and while I do wash them, I do this maybe every ten or more wears? They're fine.

Handwash posh wool items if you love them, and don't do it too often.

mathanxiety · 25/02/2019 05:31

But then you run the risk of getting accused of being patronising / controlling / bossy / horning in on someone else's racket / teaching your granny to suck eggs, DistanceCall.

swingofthings · 25/02/2019 05:38

I've had marino wools jumper that said machine washing on wool cycle 30 degrees. I've washed one on that cycle and it came out very shrunk. I blame the old machine, we got a new one oh tried his wool jumper on wool cycle again, and again it shrank.

We now only buy very nice woolen items and take tgem all to the dry cleaner.

It's not your oh's fault and you should have asked to be dry clean if you loved that jumper so much. If I was your oh, I'd tell you you still had it to hug at night because I'd be sleeping elsewhere.

Cherrysherbet · 25/02/2019 06:18

I feel sorry for your dh. You sound like a tantruming toddler.

These things happen. YABVU.

earlyrisingcat · 25/02/2019 06:19

YABU. It was an accident.

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 25/02/2019 06:33

He fucked up. So what? You will one day and worse than this. I think you need to get hold of a grip so huge you would have to stand in Norway to see it.

onegiftedgal · 25/02/2019 08:00

I can understand why you are upset op as it seems like such a waste because of a silly mistake. But let it simmer for a while and you'll get over it.
Washing labels can be difficult to understand. My sister shrunk my beautiful dress to a child size after borrowing it and 'kindly' washing it, but it's only clothing. I'm not homeless.
Separate any special care clothing from the main pile and just tell your husband why you are upset. Take up his offer of a replacement and pass the jumper onto a child so it doesn't get wasted.

Sb74 · 25/02/2019 08:04

Has the OP stormed off from here too? Sounds a bit high maintenance to me!! Don’t know the reasons behind OP arrangements but most men would feel uncomfortable being a househusband whilst their wife worked. Not sexist just fact. So to make him feel shit about this is not going to help him or your marriage. I work full time in a demanding job and look after the house etc. My oh works hard too and will help if I ask but doesn’t really naturally initiate housework-type activities. He is fantastic in lots of other ways though and fab with the kids. Be grateful to have someone looking after your home while you work. Wish I did. Doing everything is exhausting. And agree with those saying you should have just bought the jumper when you had the chance. I don’t know why your hubby had to look at it, I think he’s fully aware of what it used to look like and maybe he was too traumatised seeing again🤣. Get things in perspective- go home and apologise.

frothysloth · 25/02/2019 08:30

Erm my husband did this to me I had a beautiful woollen jumper that I wore once. But boy did I laugh when it came out the wash. To be fair dh offered to go buy a new one but how did you not chuckle OP. We actually put it on a teddy we had.

I think it’s only human to make mistakes so maybe yabu

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