To be so upset....it's only a jumper!

[theresnoonequitelikegrandma]

First of all, I should say that my DH is a 'house husband' so he is responsible for all household tasks while I work full time - a mutual choice.

Today, after doing some laundry he told me there had been a bit of a problem but he had followed the washing instructions.....

For my birthday a couple of weeks ago my best friend gave me a beautiful jumper from Jigsaw....he put it in the washing machine and has shrunk it to 5 year old size! Obviously, I pointed out that the label does indeed have a 30 sign BUT it has 2 lines underneath that indicate a wool wash! Also, the label clearly states that it is 97% merino wool!

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out. I am ridiculously upset and have gone out because I can't look at him. He has not said Sorry, just insisted that the washing instruction wasn't clear. He has offered to buy me any jumper I want to replace it.....but I want that one!

Thank you for letting me rant. Anyone got a grip for me? Or am I entitled to be cross and upset?

Yes dh has ruined my stuff before and will not check if something is dryer safe.

He does leave delicates and bras now. I'd rather do my own stuff

Sorry about your jumper op yanbu

Less than a month old, how annoying!!
But we all make mistakes.

Mistakes happen, grow up

I would be angry too. The fact that he didn't do it on purpose isn't the point. He was careless and now defensive about something she really liked. He didn't bother looking closely at the washing instructions and is now acting all put upon. An offer to buy any other jumper fails to see the point that she loved that specific jumper. They're not six of one and half a dozen of the other.

This falls under the 'You had one job..' category of complaints. He is responsible for housework including laundry, a mutual decision, yet he apparently doesn't bother much with the finer details that this involves when it comes to care of your possessions, a job which you have entrusted to him and which he has accepted as his role in keeping the show on the road. He needs to apologise.

I googled the jumper and found it in the sale but by the time he had put his reading glasses on and ambled over to look at my laptop it was sold out.
Question: Why did he need to get his reading glasses on and look at the jumper on your laptop?

Why didn't you buy the replacement jumper you saw as soon as you saw it? You could argue with him afterwards about paying for it?

• You could try unshrinking it. Someone upthread has posted instructions.

www.countryliving.com/home-maintenance/cleaning/a36242/shrunken-sweater-trick/

Unshrinking a sweater / jumper.

Yes, you can try this after the item has been through the dryer. You have nothing to lose...

www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-unshrink-a-sweater-254457

Better instructions that make it clear that you need hair conditioner or fabric softener (USE DYE FREE).

I washed a beautiful wool jumper that DH hadn't had long, and shrunk it significantly. DH is a lot bigger/taller than me, but after the wash it fitted me nicely . Fortunately he was amazingly reasonable about it. However... a couple of months later I managed to shrink it again! (I'm normally pretty decent at working the washing machine) - this time it was little enough to fit DS, who has been happily wearing it ever since. It's now known as The Family Jumper

It's upsetting but not like he was being totally careless - he did read the label and think he was washing correctly. It's just a jumper.

My MIL took it upon herself to do my laundry for reasons known only to her, and then tumbled it all to within an inch on its life. My cashmere jumper came out tiny. I was cross because she had no business doing my laundry but I still bit my tongue as it wasn't exactly malicious either.

I recently lost my temper quite spectacularly when DS2 put my best cashmere jumper through the tumble dryer. The back story was that he has repeatedly damaged my property by being careless. Over and over. Always so sorry and can’t understand how it happened but, you get the picture.

I’m guessing this is not the first thing DH has damaged? I’ve actually shrunk lots of dH’s clothes because he buys stupid designer labels that shrink when you look at them a bit funny. Items like T shirts that you could tumble from a high street store. I say sorry and we move on.

Yes, you could probably track down a replacement if you collar a helpful assistant. And then find a nice five year old and donate your original.

Mine used biological powder and it eat wool, and silk items, not moths.
Best have seperate wash for these and delicates. Only put standard 40% stuff in the communal basket. Men can't do washing cos they don't pay attention to detail (mass generalisation-true)

I can see why you're annoyed- but if he didn't know, he didn't know. I've been doing laundry for decades and I have shrunk and ruined stuff- particularly ironing/ melting items. Just take yourself off into town and buy something nice as a replacement.
Your husband probably feels shit and that is why he hadn't had the good grace to apologise. Maybe he doesn't feel appreciated for all the times he's got the laundry right????
Just see it as a good excuse to go and get something nice. And I'm sure now he knows he won't make the same mistake again.

Having lost 3 merino jumpers in quick succession to DHs inabilty to remember or read the care label I finaly found the cure.

I took a box of his cartridges (he clay pigeon shoots) and left them by the log burner. He asked why and I said I was going to use them to light the fire... there was nothing on the box to say I shouldn't!

We had quite a good row, he got very, very defensive and shouty, and eventually, after I had laughed at him and his 'defence strategy' a few times, he conceded that I was right, the lack of instruction didn't override common sense!

My remaining merino cardigan has been washed twice since, dried flat and hung up on a proper thick hanger! He may have meant it when he said he understood!

And I'm sure now he knows he won't make the same mistake again.

No, because after her ott reaction, if he has any sense he'll tell op to do her own laundry from now on.

Curious, that’s v clever!

I try Jasper

It helps that he has never seen me as anything other than his equal and we do share everything 50/50.

I just have to fight his occasional forgetful act... he has said this week that he forgot because he got busy at work. I reminded him that I am sef employed, am training the puppy, starting a C+G course and helping him organise the holiday he wanted to take for our 30th wedding anniversay... he got onto the last of the paperwork immediately - not bad as he is working away, night shifts along the East coast, and won't be home until next weekend!

Gumbo 🤣

SCFG £350 for a jumper from BF? Blimey, that’s a lot of money for a jumper. I just couldn’t do it. Now ski gear....I find that fairly easy to spend money on, but at least it’s far harder to ruin in one careless moment.

Sleep ooooh you’re nicer than me.

OP accidents happen, and he did actually read the label, it’s not like he put it in on 40 with his jeans. However, the fact he hasn’t apologised for ruining something special, especially a gift from a friend is really shitty. Saying he’ll buy you another isn’t ‘nice’, it’s being dismissive of the fact it was special to you. It’s NOT ‘just a jumper’.

I wouldn’t have gone out though.

I’d have asked him why he didn’t think a heartfelt apology for ruining my present would have been the DECENT & loving thing to have done.

Jigsaw clothes are notorious for shrinking. I’ve followed washing instructions to the letter and had wool jumpers from them shrink and dresses shrink. They did offer to replace the dress for me when I emailed customer services. If you washed at 30 I would complain.

Well Y might BU.

If it was a man was posting "My wife ruined my clothes"

There would be 2 answers.

LTB

Or

Do the washing yourself.

curious 🤣

drum Give it a rest. They’re happy with their division of labour, myob.

I agree with drum

If this over reaction had been in reverse, he’d have been told to do his own!

I’d definitely complain to JIGsaw though. As many have said if it was washed on 30 as per the label it shouldn’t have shrunk. Felted etc if not on a wool wash, but not shrunk.

Since when has it become an over reaction to expect an apology when someone ruins something of yours?

I understand why you're upset but then can also see your DH didn't mean to (though his reaction of not saying sorry doesn't help) I fully admit to being at the mercy of my hormones in my life and at that time of the month I would be irrationally upset, and the rest of the month I would take it in my stride but expect an apology.

Making him feel bad isn’t going to get your jumper back. You’re being unfair.