Can anyone help regarding bullying policy at uni?

[helena65]

Is it normal procedure to called for a mediation meeting after accusations of bullying? I honestly have no idea so if if anyone has any advice I would be very grateful.
My daughter 18 has been bullied and harrased for months by 2 boys/grown men in her flat in uni student halls. She is in a flat with 3 boys and just her ..no girls. The third boy joins in with the online bullying but is friendly at times to DDS face.
The other two..post on FB that they have jizzed in the kettle and microwave for revenge on s flatmate.. they glare and laugh at her every day.. they put rubbish from the bins in her food cupboard. They put dirty dishes in her cupboard..they shouted at her constantly on snap chat to which she never replied..she has now blocked them..one boy told her he was going to make her life hell till she wanted to drop out of uni.
She hasn't spoked a word to either boy since Xmas..just kept her head down and hoped it would stop. It didn't..it's escalating.
For background..she has ibs and anxiety and her ibs has flared up with all this stress..she has missed some lectures and at one point had to come home for a week as she couldn't stop crying and going loo.
One boy is the ring leader he has decided that DD must take the bins on a certain day even though she doesn't use the kitchen and has her own bin for any rubbish. He ties up all the bin bags on HER day as he sees it and leaves them in the kitchen..not allowing either of the other boys to take them for days..till it stinks in there and someone snaps and takes them.
DD finnally went to the deanery team to make a complain ..she got it all out and they took a statement..the woman was wonderful and very sympathetic to her situation..saying she does not have tolive this way. They took statement from the other boys too and an investigation is under way.
DD has sentproof including photos..Snapchat messages..etc.
She made it clear to the deanery team she can't be in an interview with the boys..she needed it tobe alone. She has now received an email saying the accommodation team has decided a mediation meeting for all flatmates to discuss their issues is planned for next week!
DD is now beside herself that the she has to sit across the table from the boys who have been bullying her for months whilst they simply talk it out!!
Right now she can't sleep or leave her room..her ibs will definitely not allowing her to attend that meeting...nerves and stress are massive triggers for flare ups..she also doesn't want them to see her cry and she knows she would.

Can anyone help with how she should reply to this? Has it been a waste of time going to the deanery? Since the boys gave their statement the behavior has gotten worse.. putting rubbish from the bin in her cupboard happened after their meeting..so she knows they are not bothered ir worried by the investigation.

No she hasn't been given a COP. Should she have?

It is a north west uni

I do wonder if a statement at 18k words length will be effective or not, is she repeating her points, is there a clear focus on the issues (ie not waffling on), is it very emotive etc.

@Lou780

Here are links to a selection of complaints procedures relating to bullying and harassment at a range of NW universities. Where is your daughter in the process@

Liverpool

Manchester

Liverpool Johm Moores

MMU

Salford

UCLAN

Lancaster

Edge Hill

Hi carrot thanks. With the bullying case the investigator finished weeks ago..we then heard nothing till couple of weeks ago when she was told it had been passed down to the deanery to deal with and was no longer a university level complaint. Since then the dean has been reading over everything and the latest installment is dd receiving a letter for her own discipline meeting this week. She has been told nothing of her complaint toward the boys. In fact the dean told her she will not tell her the result asit doesn't concern her.

A CoP is produced when all stages of the University complaints procedure have been completed. Once the student received a CoP then they have 12 months to submit a review request to the OIAHE (best done as soon as possible as the OIAHE can easily take 3-6 months to look at a case.

So as to whether she should have a CoP it depends on whether her complaint was made formally and has been considered (in which case she should have a outcome letter which will state clearly what process has been followed, what the decision was and her route to appeal that decision. If she has appealed the decision made at the first stage and the appeal has been completed she should have a CoP which will clearly state the process, decision and OIA option.

If she didn't make a formal complaint then she should.

If her formal complaint is still being looked at then she should be updated regularly as to when she will get a decision (at either first stage or second stage).

She needs to speak to a student adviser in the Union/Guild and work out where she is up to in the process. They will have contacts in the case handling/investigation team so will be able to clarify process questions

Thanks carrot. The student union point blank refuses to even talk to her. They say they are representing the three boys as they came to them first.

Can my dd send thecase to the oia even if she is the complainant and doesn't receive justice? Or is it just the perps who can do this?

No-one can go to the OIAHE without a COP.

The SU absolutely can talk to her about PROCESS even if they can't help with her case

Does her university have bullying and harrassment advisers? Many do

Or she may be able to get help from her school student support team who will understand the processes involved

I'd suggest that she request a completion of procedures letter with regard to her original complaint. They either have to give it to her, or else be very clear about what she needs to do in order to complete the procedures.

To answer your question, yes, as complainant she will be able to go to the OIA (but as Carrot says, only when she has the completion of procedures letter).

The college dean has just told dd that only the boys will receive a cop. That as the case is against them they have the right to appeal if needed and then would receive a cop. She said my dd would never receive a cop as she is the one who made the complaints and has no right to appeal any descion or take to the oia.

In fact she said dd has no right to even know the outcome of her complaint.

It was definitely a formal complaint too as the boys were facing possible expulsion.

Your dd may not be entitled to know what the decision is about the male students (data protection) but she is entitled to know in general terms if her complaint was upheld or not.

Your dd needs to do a search on the website to find out who the university complaints officer is, and ask them for the completion of procedures letter or information about what she can do for the next stage.

Iam so annoyed. Dd contacted disability services and they said they couldn't help either. They told her to contact the deanery welfare team. Dd explained that it was the head of deanery welfare who was taking the hearing against her and how after all this she would probably be filing a complaint about her treatment at the hands of this woman and her team. She said no way would she want a member of the deanery there. 10 ins later she gets a phone call from the deanery!! Disability services lady contacted them and told them dd has noone to attend the hearing with her and could they assist! Is it just me or should they not have done this without dds permission? So now the dean now's full well that dd has had no advice or has anyone to take her to meeting!!!

Apologies if this is blunt, I am trying to be to the point. You've had some excellent advice here.

Right.

1. So now the dean now's full well that dd has had no advice or has anyone to take her to meeting!!!
   This doesn't make a difference in the hearing or it's outcome. Advice is...advised. As is representation. Not required.

2. Disability services lady contacted them and told them dd has noone to attend the hearing with her and could they assist

If your DD has a learning/disability support agreement, then there should be a clause in there about information sharing, which would include across departments.

3. Re: No completion of procedures. Did your DD definitely lodge a formal complaint, via the formal route (i.e filling in a form, submission of it etc)? Or did this start as a stage 1/informal complaint? In any case, without knowing exactly what stage she is at, she needs to contact the officer handling the admin around this and ask for a Completion of Proceedings letter. If this is denied, she needs to ask specifically why. As other posters have said, it doesn't need to specify what the penalty applied to the lads was, just that the process has been closed.

Is this what has happened, roughly:

DD contacts senior representatives at the University (Dean), lodges a formal complaint relating to the behaviour of these boys.

A disciplinary hearing was conducted against the boys

During the disc. proceedings, the boys made cross allegations that DD had falsified evidence?

Due to the boy's allegations, DD is now also being investigated under the disc. proceedings?

And, in amongst all this, DD's origional complaint has not been closed? Is that correct?

That as the case is against them they have the right to appeal if needed and then would receive a cop. She said my dd would never receive a cop as she is the one who made the complaints and has no right to appeal any descion or take to the oia.

This is half correct. Yes, the boy's would be given a COP if they were found guilty of X, and chose to appeal the decision. COP gets given at the end of this whether the appeal is upheld or not.

She said my dd would never receive a cop as she is the one who made the complaints and has no right to appeal any descion or take to the oia.

Absolute bollocks. A COP should be given to the person who instigated the complaint IF it was a formal complaint. If informal, DD would need to proceed through the formal complaint and, if unsatisfied, the review stage. She would then be given a COP. From what you've told us, it may be that DD has lodged an informal complaint and wouldn't get a COP until she's gone through the formal, and then review, stage.

She can't approach the OIA without a COP. Sorry.

Hi ruby. Thanks for all the info. The uni are no help whatsoever. What happened is.
1* dd was emailed to attend a kitchen mediation meeting at the boys had complained she wasn't pulling her weight. Absolute rubbish and just designed to try and get her in trouble.
2* dd emailed back the dean and explained she couldn't attend this meeting as she knew the boys were using it to further harrass her.

3* assistant dean asked to meet dd to discuss the situation. She was lovely. Dd cried and told her everything. Assistant dean explained to dd that she should not worry..they would sort this and the bullying would be stopped.

4* assistant dean asked dd to write everything down and email it to her.
5* dd gets email saying an investigation has began anddue to the nature of abuse and harrasment it had been elevated to university level. The boys faced expulsion and were moved out pending the investigation.

6* an investigator was assigned to thecase.he took statements and interviewed all involved. dd was given the opportunity to refute anything they said about her..but the investigator said they only saidtwo minor things.

7* the boys were know given dds statement to read and had a week to email their own counter statement.we have no idea what they said.

8* dd was informedd after several weeks that the investigator had decided to hand the case back to the deanery..it was no longer a serious case.

9* dd met with the dean dealing with it and was informed she would be dealing with it now and DD needs to prepare that the boys might move back in if she could not find evidence of bullying. Dd broke down and told her to please read her 10 pages of evidence.

10* dd receives a letter email saying she is being sent to a hearing with dean and must attend.for discipline hearing under student reg ## for fraud etc etc. Dd is sent the boys statement for this action..it contains no evidence that dd has lied. It is full of easily proven lies about DD. One being that she went on n holiday for a week and left the flat a mess?? Easily proven not true..check attendance.
Another being she banged on their doors one night months ago and shouted prolonged abuse. Didn't happen.and none of them have a recording on their phones of said abuse. Neither do they actually detail what was said.

Dd then writes very large statement proving them throughout to be lying about her.

Hello.

It looks as if DD made a statement to start disciplinary proceedings against the boys but has not made a formal complaint, hence why she is being refused a COP.

This all screams disciplinary proceedings and not a complaint to me. Has anyone every specifically said to DD that this is a complaint? Has she ever filled out a form as such?

And, forgive me, if it’s just their word against hers and vice versa, how is DD able to ‘prove’ that they are lying? Is there written evidence from the boys or has she got multiple witness statements?

Hi ruby. I mean she can prove it because it's things like..she went to the porters lodge to get a new key so she could give one to her friend so that friend could call me and go and invade our privacy. We told her she was breakfast the rules. ..that's the kind of thing they are claiming. Easily proven not to have happened by asking the porters.

Sorry not call me..so that the friend could come and go from flat...that is what they claimed

*breaking...not breakfast..ugh auto correct

Hi op, just read your thread. I dont have much to say beyond what pps have said but didnt want to read and run. I hope your dd is ok and you get some resolution to this. I would also advise her seeing her gp for her mental health and making sure it is on her medical records and presenting it as evidence.