Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a knob

184 replies

PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:39

DH lives away during the week and comes home every weekend. EOW he brings his DDs who are 12 and 14. He is about 2.5 hours away.

A few weeks ago I had a week off and the day he was coming home I went out for lunch/drinks with a friend. Knowing I wouldn’t be around to have a meal ready for DH and DSDs arrival I put a meal in the slow cooker before I left.

Today he is coming home a day early with his DDs as it is half term.

Unfortunately I came down with a flu bug last night (I wouldn’t say actual flu but felling like total shit, aching, shivering, horrid sore throat, no energy) and have been off work today and spent the day in bed.

I texted DH and said you are going to need to sort out a meal. There is him, his DDs, me and my 16 yr old son.

He phones on the way home and says can you order a takeaway 15 minutes before we all get home?

I have no cash (if it gets here early) and just feel really pissed off that he I am unwell yet still need to be involved in everyone’s dinner. Why can’t he just buy some food on his way home and cook it for us all? Even if it’s bloody microwave meals.

AIBU?

OP posts:
macaroniandpizza · 21/02/2019 20:28

pooleyspooley hope you feel better soon and that your not so darling husband realises what a dick hes been. Be a different story if he were ill i bet

gamerchick · 21/02/2019 20:33

don't think they're MN posters. Schoolkids and MRAs/TRAs. It's hard to tell the difference. It's funny how fixated they are with this site

I think we got invaded quite a while ago.

Mooncuplanding my husband leads a pampered life, I utterly adore him. But never ever does he take it for granted. He'll cook and clean without being asked and looks after me if I'm ill. He wouldn't come home, shout at me and throw a takeout at me because I wanted a day off. If I was ill he wouldn't even let me get out of bed.

HIM acting like that is HIS fault, not the OPs.

butteryellow · 21/02/2019 20:35

I think she is a classic case of a woman who does everything and it all builds up and pours out into something trivial.

Or, she figured, that just as she does stuff all the time because she cares, and it's relatively easy for her to do, and she reasonably assumed that this once, he would do something for her because he cares, and it's relatively easy for him to do.... and he didn't... and he was mean about it... even though he knows she's not feeling well.

mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 20:38

The DH may well be a knob, but honestly not that interested in him.

OP however can stop doing everything, because it clearly isn't a thing that she enjoys and indeed she seems to resent it. That is not healthy for her however you frame it and is nothing to do with her DH but everything to do with her. She has the power to change that. Not him.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 21/02/2019 20:48

Yes he is.

1Wildheartsease · 21/02/2019 20:48

You are right about him OP.
I hope that he has some really impressive redeeming qualities!

Also hope that you are feeling better by Monday. Do rest and recuperate till then: no cooking - no cleaning - no washing - no ironing - no dispute settling...

Thegoodthere · 21/02/2019 20:58

Mooncup, you're a twat. You have the power to change that. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You can change your twatishness.

NC0301191141 · 21/02/2019 20:59

Hope you feel better soon OP.

In the meantime, please cough in his face when he comes to bed. See how much he can do when he feels like you do!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 21/02/2019 21:04

I’m getting the rage on your behalf OP!

M4J4 · 21/02/2019 21:07

I would not want to cook this fucker a meal ever again. Don't even make extra for him.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/02/2019 21:09

I think some MNetters have found "The Transformed wife" on fb and youtube.

Be a good girl, never complain and be joyfully available.

What a load of shite.

EKGEMS · 21/02/2019 21:10

Tomtontom How about you get over yourself first-the poor woman is sick and you're hassling her?

EKGEMS · 21/02/2019 21:12

Once again Geminijes you never fail to disappoint with your unsympathetic posts

EKGEMS · 21/02/2019 21:18

Hey mooncuplanding give it a fucking rest you really have quite a gift for creating tangents based on zero facts

mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 21:23

Mooncup, you're a twat.

But not one who has a partner who'd think it appropriate to call me to 'do dinner' when I'm ill though, so make of that what you will.

But of course all your sympathetic "oh he's such a dick OP, LTB' posts will do OP the world of good.

ionlylovemybedandmymama · 21/02/2019 21:29

Mumsnet is really shit lately. Lots of people who think everything domestic is up to whoever has the uterus in the family, and abuse should be tolerated.

He sounds like a dick head.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 21:38

Yes he is being a complete dick.

Just “put his kids to bed” next door and when I questioned why he didn’t come and see me after texting me last night wishing he could give me loads of hugs he texted me from downstairs “Well if I get what you have I will end up being ill all weekend“

OP posts:
furryjammies · 21/02/2019 21:44

OP you are being ridiculous. You should not have even contemplated your DH to prepare/order dinner - that is your job. And I sincerely hope that at the very least if you have taken to your bed that you have curled your hair and put a full face of make up on. I also hope your bedroom attire is suitably elegant - you really are giving all women a bad name!

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 21:45

@furryjammies

😂😂

OP posts:
Zwischenwasser · 21/02/2019 21:52

The way a person treats you when you're unable to do anything for them is very telling of how much respect and love they have for you

This

Blackbear10 · 21/02/2019 21:55

OP
Have you posted about your DH and rather SC before?
I’m just wondering if you’re the poster who is having endless amount of shit from her real bully of a partner and who has posted a few times but doesn’t seem to be able to leave

Sorry if you’re not and I’ve just derailed your thread.
Either way your DH sounds like an unsympathetic arse and no cooking duties for at least a month would be a good way to go, see how your DH enjoys having dinner ready by whatever time you text him.

Absolutelylocaltoyou · 21/02/2019 22:10

Your DH is a knob OP, I hope you do feel better soon. Ignore the trolls on here. 💐💐💐

ohfourfoxache · 21/02/2019 22:15

Ah, so he doesn’t want to get ill! So he’ll be sleeping on the sofa then....?

Fifthtimelucky · 21/02/2019 22:39

In these circumstances I'd have thought the obvious person to sort out the meal would have been the OP's 16 year old son, or have I missed that he is ill too?

CantStopMeNow · 22/02/2019 01:51

I don’t prep him meals I make extra and freeze it
So you are cooking his meals that he takes away with him!

You do realise you've been enabling his self centred and selfishness?
Stop making the 'extra' for him to take - he's a grown man ffs!
How about he does some cooking when he's staying at your 'hotel'?

If you expect very little and tolerate bullshit then don't be surprised when they have such little respect or consideration for you.