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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a knob

184 replies

PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:39

DH lives away during the week and comes home every weekend. EOW he brings his DDs who are 12 and 14. He is about 2.5 hours away.

A few weeks ago I had a week off and the day he was coming home I went out for lunch/drinks with a friend. Knowing I wouldn’t be around to have a meal ready for DH and DSDs arrival I put a meal in the slow cooker before I left.

Today he is coming home a day early with his DDs as it is half term.

Unfortunately I came down with a flu bug last night (I wouldn’t say actual flu but felling like total shit, aching, shivering, horrid sore throat, no energy) and have been off work today and spent the day in bed.

I texted DH and said you are going to need to sort out a meal. There is him, his DDs, me and my 16 yr old son.

He phones on the way home and says can you order a takeaway 15 minutes before we all get home?

I have no cash (if it gets here early) and just feel really pissed off that he I am unwell yet still need to be involved in everyone’s dinner. Why can’t he just buy some food on his way home and cook it for us all? Even if it’s bloody microwave meals.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 21/02/2019 18:49

@geminijes because she is ill. Because he is more than capable of stopping off at the takeaway or ordering delivery himself.

Honestly, if I text DH saying I'm feeling shit can you sort dinner for you and DD his response is never anything other than OK, can do.

TowelNumber42 · 21/02/2019 18:51

If he didn't have you, would the weekends be the only times he would have to look after his own children? Is he divorced because of treating his ex like a servant?

burritofan · 21/02/2019 18:52

It makes way more sense for DH to pick up food and bring it home than for you to do it, especially if it's takeaway – are you supposed to ring back and get everyone's orders or just guess what they want? It shouldn't be this difficult. Takes 5 minutes to pull into an M&S garage or wherever & pick up ready meals/pizza & Lemsip etc for you, all you have to do is preheat the oven. YANBU.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:52

No he has his kids midweek too.

I just feel like shit and want someone to care for me for once.

OP posts:
pallisers · 21/02/2019 18:52

It's not rocket science to order a takeaway. So why can't you?

If it isn't rocket science, why can't he? He can pull over and order. he can ask his dd to order for him. He can wait till he gets home to order. lots of lovely easy options. But instead he wants is to make it OP's responsibility even though she is sick. Is a woman not allowed to say "I'm sick can you sort dinner" without being told it is easy so just suck it up and do it?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:56

Well they all arrived about 5 minutes ago and no one has come to say hello yet Sad

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 21/02/2019 18:58

OP. I hope you feel better soon.
To all those saying why can't she just order it, you are completely missing the point of this thread which is that she is always providing for everyone else and is always on duty. Just this once she is asking her OH to take an extra 10 minutes out of his day and organise dinner as she's feeling really terrible and he slams the phone down.
Doesn't seem like a big ask on her part.

HollowTalk · 21/02/2019 19:03

That is horrible! Miserable bastards. If he hasn't bought you food then he's a massive bastard.

Geminijes · 21/02/2019 19:07

I didn't realise that having the symptoms of a cold prevented you from ordering a takeaway.
I find it sad that a woman finds it so hard to put herself out for a mere 5 minutes to help her husband and his children.
Posting on Mum's Net so could quite easily order a takeaway but prefers to make a point that she is too ill to do so....Diddums to you Op.

Greggers2017 · 21/02/2019 19:08

So he's been at work all day, driven all the way back, offered to buy you all a take away so tea is sorted and nobody has to cook. He probably doesn't want to cook as he wants too spend time with his daughters as he only sees them every other weekend and you can't even be bothered to order it on just eat or make a phone call 🙄 wow!
If you'd wrote that your husband wouldn't order a take away when he was ill he'd still get slated.

TigerTooth · 21/02/2019 19:08

My DH would do that too. He never gets unwell and if I do he doesn't 'get it' .

Grumpyoldblonde · 21/02/2019 19:08

Please don’t just lie in bed seething will you? Text down and say you need painkillers, food, water etc.

Putting the phone down is the work of wankers.

ohfourfoxache · 21/02/2019 19:08

If he continues to be a knob then perhaps he’d like to have microwave meals rather than home cooked from now on? You could batch cook and keep them in your own freezer to save you cooking during the week.....

TigerTooth · 21/02/2019 19:10

Why should op do it?
He knows when they'll be back and what the fancy AND she's unwell.

WilkoBrandCleaner · 21/02/2019 19:10

I find it sad that a woman finds it so hard to put herself out for a mere 5 minutes to help her husband and his children. Grin you'd be joking wouldn't you?

There's helping people out, and then there's being a doormat. Anyone who slams the phone down on me can expect that I will not be doing them any favours in the near future.

gambaspilpil · 21/02/2019 19:10

I hope your not the same OP whose DSC and DP treat her like there servant and expect homecooked meals and has to spend the weekend cooking so the DSsC can be sent home with cooked meals?!! Anyway says a lot about where you sit in the pecking order that they haven’t even said hello and asked if your ok which is due to you not sorting out there dinner !

TigerTooth · 21/02/2019 19:12

I didn't realise that having the symptoms of a cold prevented you from ordering a takeaway.
I find it sad that a woman finds it so hard to put herself out for a mere 5 minutes to help her husband and his children.
Posting on Mum's Net so could quite easily order a takeaway but prefers to make a point that she is too ill to do so....Diddums to you Op

missing point entirely

Crunchymum · 21/02/2019 19:12

Can he not just order it once they get home? OK so they may have to wait for it to arrive but hey ho.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:13

He’s begrudgingly bought a takeaway home and practically lobbed the pizza at me in bed.

Ordered me and DS and the girls pizza because they are buy one get one free even though when I texted this morning I said I bought DS and I frozen pizza last night as I felt so shite and got himself a kebab and chips.

OP posts:
NettleTea · 21/02/2019 19:13

I hope there is dinner for you too

RainbowWaffles · 21/02/2019 19:13

YANBU. If you are sick, you’re sick. It isn’t that difficult to order a takeaway and his children should be more than capable of helping him. There is a 14 year old in the car who can order it while he drives. I would be pissed off as well if I were you, you aren’t the boss of all food making.

Crunchymum · 21/02/2019 19:14

Oh my, are you that poster OP? And the sternum sometimes has some of the food you send?

TowelNumber42 · 21/02/2019 19:14

Is he always a bit of a dick?

Thegoodthere · 21/02/2019 19:15

Fucking hell, has this site been invaded by MRAs or something? Bunch of woman-hating twats on here. Or is it cos its half term?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:15

No I am not the poster who sends the leaks home.

OP posts: