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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a knob

184 replies

PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:39

DH lives away during the week and comes home every weekend. EOW he brings his DDs who are 12 and 14. He is about 2.5 hours away.

A few weeks ago I had a week off and the day he was coming home I went out for lunch/drinks with a friend. Knowing I wouldn’t be around to have a meal ready for DH and DSDs arrival I put a meal in the slow cooker before I left.

Today he is coming home a day early with his DDs as it is half term.

Unfortunately I came down with a flu bug last night (I wouldn’t say actual flu but felling like total shit, aching, shivering, horrid sore throat, no energy) and have been off work today and spent the day in bed.

I texted DH and said you are going to need to sort out a meal. There is him, his DDs, me and my 16 yr old son.

He phones on the way home and says can you order a takeaway 15 minutes before we all get home?

I have no cash (if it gets here early) and just feel really pissed off that he I am unwell yet still need to be involved in everyone’s dinner. Why can’t he just buy some food on his way home and cook it for us all? Even if it’s bloody microwave meals.

AIBU?

OP posts:
mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 19:50

You do sound like are sulking tbf. It's not nice dealing with people when they sulk.

It sounds like you are resentful because you do 'all the things' around the house. I say that because you have said "its my time to be looked after". This sort of tit for tat always ends in tears. If you don't want to 'do all the things' you should say so at the time, not build it up to a massive resentment, like it is now

IDoN0tCare · 21/02/2019 19:50

the Tammy Wynette Appreciation Society is out in full force this evening

Oh that did make me laugh out loud, brilliant! 🤣

SherlockSays · 21/02/2019 19:52

Don't you have Just Eat? It's not the same as Uber Eats - just takeaways that are online and you pay on card instead of cash.

I don't think I've paid cash for a takeaway in at least 7 years.

IDoN0tCare · 21/02/2019 19:52

You do sound like are sulking tbf. It's not nice dealing with people when they sulk.

How the fuck have you the cheek to type that with a straight face.

HE hung up on her!

No one has come up to check on her, knowing she’s ill!

FFS. Take about the 1950s calling!

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 19:53

Hj OP. To be honest, I would have just got them all Deliveroo or Uber Eats and be done with it. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you. He’s just driving and it was a reasonable request.

Oh for Christ’s sake. Not another one. 🙇‍♀️

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:55

the Tammy Wynette Appreciation Society is out in full force this evening Grin

Yeah we do have just eat but it’s only the expensive places on there and I have never used it and I feel a bit brain fogged and not really wanted to negotiate what me and 4 others want.

I just wanted to not do it. Today.

OP posts:
Al2O3 · 21/02/2019 19:56

I would leave some frozen sausages out, some eggs and some flour.

When he asks what they are for tell him he "..had best get cooking because it is the only 'toad in the hole' he can expect to enjoy for the next six months" Wink

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:56

I have done the journey there and back in the past to collect the children and put a meal in the slow cooker before I left which he is fully aware of.

So no the travelling on a relatively short journey for us, does not cut it.

OP posts:
IDoN0tCare · 21/02/2019 19:56

I’m picturing some of these posters typing on these!

My DH is a knob
mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 19:57

HE hung up on her!

Probably because she was sulking and had a tone.

No one has come up to check on her, knowing she’s ill!

She isn't dying. And he has brought her pizza.

How about that he has just worked all day and driven for 2.5 hours? Does that not count for anything because he is a man?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:58

@IDoN0tCare

😂😂😂

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 21/02/2019 20:00

He sounds utterly charming. What a wankbadger.

Hope you feel better soon, OP.

mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 20:00

The 1950's 'insults' are a bit pathetic.

A marriage is a partnership and working as a team. For some reason, OP seems to think TODAY she has dissolved the partnership. Yes, she is ill, but can't be that ill as she still wants to eat a pizza?

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 21/02/2019 20:01

I find it sad that a woman finds it so hard to put herself out for a mere 5 minutes to help her husband and his children.

FFS, did you not read the OP, where she says she's fucking ILL!!!!!

mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 20:01

And not so ill that she can't post on Mumsnet either

I stick by my sulking comment

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 20:02

No no - I didn’t want to eat a pizza.

I just didn’t want to be involved in organising what everyone else was eating,

OP posts:
mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 20:02

But you ate the pizza?

RainbowWaffles · 21/02/2019 20:02

How about that he has just worked all day and driven for 2.5 hours? Does that not count for anything because he is a man?

I have worked all day and driven for several hours and felt much better than I have when I am sick at home having done nothing.

I feel like some people don’t understand what it is like to be sick. I would work for a month straight to avoid a serious bout of illness.

NoSquirrels · 21/02/2019 20:03

A marriage is a partnership and working as a team. For some reason, OP seems to think TODAY she has dissolved the partnership. Yes, she is ill, but can't be that ill as she still wants to eat a pizza?

Just today - on this day - she asked her DH to "sort out a meal" for tonight, because she's not feeling well.

And his version of "sorting out a meal" is to ask her to sort it out...

How does that not make HIM a knob, rather than HER?

Graphista · 21/02/2019 20:04

Fucking hell the attitudes to a sick woman on this thread Wtaf!!!

He does sod all apart from work! Op does it all not at all surprised there's an ex she probably wised up!

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 20:04

For some reason, OP seems to think TODAY she has dissolved the partnership

Dissolved the partnership? Because she didn’t feel well enough to cook or to order a takeaway? Are you normally this dramatic and prone to exaggeration?

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 20:04

@mooncuplanding

No I haven’t eaten the pizza that was chucked on the bed at me xx

OP posts:
Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 20:05

Kisses Blush

OP posts:
GlossyTaco · 21/02/2019 20:05

The way a person treats you when you're unable to do anything for them is very telling of how much respect and love they have for you.

mooncuplanding · 21/02/2019 20:06

He has sorted the meal out though?

And probably hung up because he asked what is usually a reasonable question and got a sulky reply.

This is built up resentment over a standard request. Totally out of proportion