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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a knob

184 replies

PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 18:39

DH lives away during the week and comes home every weekend. EOW he brings his DDs who are 12 and 14. He is about 2.5 hours away.

A few weeks ago I had a week off and the day he was coming home I went out for lunch/drinks with a friend. Knowing I wouldn’t be around to have a meal ready for DH and DSDs arrival I put a meal in the slow cooker before I left.

Today he is coming home a day early with his DDs as it is half term.

Unfortunately I came down with a flu bug last night (I wouldn’t say actual flu but felling like total shit, aching, shivering, horrid sore throat, no energy) and have been off work today and spent the day in bed.

I texted DH and said you are going to need to sort out a meal. There is him, his DDs, me and my 16 yr old son.

He phones on the way home and says can you order a takeaway 15 minutes before we all get home?

I have no cash (if it gets here early) and just feel really pissed off that he I am unwell yet still need to be involved in everyone’s dinner. Why can’t he just buy some food on his way home and cook it for us all? Even if it’s bloody microwave meals.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:15

*meals

OP posts:
RainbowWaffles · 21/02/2019 19:16

Ordered me and DS and the girls pizza because they are buy one get one free even though when I texted this morning I said I bought DS and I frozen pizza last night as I felt so shite and got himself a kebab and chips.

So he is capable of getting takeaway, two in fact. Big gold star for him. What an arse.

F1amingo · 21/02/2019 19:16

Hj OP. To be honest, I would have just got them all Deliveroo or Uber Eats and be done with it. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you. He’s just driving and it was a reasonable request.

Springwalk · 21/02/2019 19:16

Op ignore his phone calls. He is a grown MAN, surely capable of calling for a takesway or asking hi virtually adult children to!
Your title made me laugh.
Yes he is absolutely a knob!! A hungry knob meeting attention

Crunchymum · 21/02/2019 19:16

@NettleTea

I will, sadly, assume that the husband is of the opinion "If you are too ill to order food, you are too ill to eat it" Shock

Springwalk · 21/02/2019 19:16

Needing

pallisers · 21/02/2019 19:17

He doesn't sound very nice tbh. (still, could be worse. you could be married to geminisjis)

caroletaxi · 21/02/2019 19:17

Just for once don't sort out the frozen meals that takes away with him, maybe then he'll stop treating you like his mum.

Sunflower1989 · 21/02/2019 19:21

Sounds like he takes advantage of your flexibility and good nature. He is complacent with you. Be careful you are not indulging his attitude by pandering to him. Have you created a monster? My hubby wouldn't expect this royal treatment simply because I wouldn't do it (poor fella! Haha!) Maybe a serious sit down chat is required and if he still doesn't take you seriously, I'd be questioning why. Xxx

Thegoodthere · 21/02/2019 19:22

Have you created a monster?

Translation: is this (and everything) your fault because you are a woman?

JudgeRindersMinder · 21/02/2019 19:23

Hj OP. To be honest, I would have just got them all Deliveroo or Uber Eats and be done with it. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you. He’s just driving and it was a reasonable request

The OP quite clearly stated it doesn’t operate in her area.

Given there were 2 teenage girls in the car it would have made far more sense for 1 of them to phone it (which is possibly what happened anyway)

OP yes your dh is a knob, hope you feel better soon

Sunflower1989 · 21/02/2019 19:25

@Thegoodthere please don't misinterpret what I'm saying. I am on this woman's side. Her man is a dick. I'm suggesting she doesn't allow him to be. Sometimes it takes someone to point out that you are letting a person take advantage of you. I was just trying to help.

timeisnotaline · 21/02/2019 19:25

The op is sick. He didn’t ‘offer’ to buy a takeaway, he didn’t offer to do anything. The op asked him to sort dinner, so he right back atchad asked her to do it. Is that ok because it’s just takeaway @greggers17? I think choosing a takeaway meal while feeling ill sounds miserable and wouldn’t do it (my dh would cook actually). Also, I got all this from just the op. Most people can at least read the op surely? And if you read the full thread you see he doesn’t only see his daughters on the weekend, he sees them midweek too.
I hope he’s come up to say hello and bring something. If he’s not actually going to lift a finger for you perhaps you should suggest he go back to his room with a microwave.

rosamacrose · 21/02/2019 19:32

I would say, I agree with you title.
Your husband is a knob.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 21/02/2019 19:35

Omg you poor sod OP! I know, I know, why do we have to micromanage everything, even on your sick bed . Tbh, I would have just lain in the dark and not responded. Fuck them.

I’m on your side, I’ve got some nice fish pie here, shall I bring you some and a bottle of Lucozade and some cold and flu medication?

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 19:36

In the time you typed that out, you could have done an uber eats (or Just Eats) order, a paid by card and gone back to bed.

Why the hell should she have to. And why do some people not appreciate that not all of us live in or near cities where Uber etc. are available? They just can’t comprehend anything outside their own small bubble can they? 🙄

Graphista · 21/02/2019 19:38

Wtf!

What exactly is he good for if you're even cooking for him when he's away during the week?!

Does he make ANY practical contribution to your family?

It's a pita ordering takeaway third hand.

Stop doing so much for him op he doesn't appreciate it!

Lollypop701 · 21/02/2019 19:40

Op I’ve had a shit day at work and decided I wasn’t cooking. Dh has knobish tendencies but even he managed fish fingers and chips! Seriously getting mad reading this!

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 19:41

He is.

He didn’t even ask me and DS what we wanted and then came into the bedroom and yelled at me.

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 19:45

I find it sad that a woman finds it so hard to put herself out for a mere 5 minutes to help her husband and his children.

Woman, know your place. Haul your lazy, useless arse off your sickbed and do your duty to your man. Nothing less than a three course dinner will do and after your lord and master has eaten his fill you should give him a foot rub. For fucks sake. Some people on this thread. Unless of course Geminijes is the DH.

Absolutelylocaltoyou · 21/02/2019 19:46

In the time you typed that out, you could have done an uber eats (or Just Eats) order, a paid by card and gone back to bed

Yes but why the fuck should she?

IDoN0tCare · 21/02/2019 19:48

A lot of Male posters and handmaidens on here tonight, isn’t there?

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 19:48

Fucking he’ll. I’ve just read the full thread. Well the Tammy Wynette Appreciation Society is out in full force this evening.

All together now - Stand By Your Man la la la la la .............

LizzieSiddal · 21/02/2019 19:49

He yelled at you?

Does he have a history of treating you like shit?

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/02/2019 19:50

Hell not he’ll. I wish autocorrect wouldn’t insert rogue apostrophes when it feels like it.