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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
Jux · 09/03/2019 16:47

It's been long enough to count as unreasonable now, hasn't it? You have been, and continue to be, seriously inconvenienced. I'd get a lawyer to write, but not sure what they can threaten as a consequence if it's not sorted.

BruceAndNosh · 10/03/2019 07:27

If the scaffolding was on your land, you'd have more leverage, but as its on neighbour's you don't have much.
Most scaffolding firms have their phone number on it. Maybe ring them and say thet you will hold them legally responsible for any debris which falls out of the inadequate netting and damages your car

TSSDNCOP · 10/03/2019 09:37

Nigella as I posted very early on, we had scaffolding next door, it had no netting and that rubble landed in our gardens front and back for months. Then the scaffolding stayed up for 4months after the work finished.

People wonder why their neighbours hate them. Right there is the reason why.

justilou1 · 10/03/2019 10:51

I'm more concerned about the crap all over your drive - despite the netting. You were assured that this wouldn't be a problem by both GG and BBB (Bob the Bloody Builder)

NigellaAwesome · 10/03/2019 13:04

I've been out today to sweep up the rubble, but there are bits of mortar and cement stains over the driveway, along with some strike marks. It's a block paving driveway so it is really visible.

The scaffolding belongs to the builder I think, rather than a scaffolding company. I've got a lot on this week, so can't really devote much headspace to it. If there is no sign of movement by Friday I think I will drop a note to next door asking them when their builder will be making good the damage and mess.

The builder mentioned to me that he is replacing all the gutters on the house, so is due to come back. Part of the problem is that the gutters on their gable roof have been removed, so all of the water from the roof is pouring straight off the roof, on to their passage bit, and then on to our drive, bringing bits of rubble with it.

OP posts:
Notwiththeseknees · 10/03/2019 14:15

Can I suggest you take some really clear photographs, together with the rubble you have cleared up, the remnants in the netting and the scaffolding. Get some chalk & circle the worst bits. Then send an email to the builder cc the CFN (or vise versa) and ask for the name of their insurance company.

NigellaAwesome · 23/03/2019 20:43

They're finally gone!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/03/2019 20:48

Hurrah!

newmummalion · 23/03/2019 21:02

Get a licence drawn up at your neighbours expense. It would oblige your neighbours to pay you for the temporary access for a set amount of time and if they over run they have to pay a further daily rate. You could also stipulate safety conditions etc. It should be drawn up by a lawyer and would be a legally binding contract.

myrtleWilson · 23/03/2019 21:06

Or you could RTFT newmummalion Grin

MyNameIsJane · 24/03/2019 07:49

Thank goodness! Any lasting damage on your side?

NigellaAwesome · 24/03/2019 08:51

Builders removed scaffolding on Friday and packed up to go. Earlier in the day I had spoken to one of the men and said I would leave the gates open for him to sweep all the mess up, but he didn't bother. I dropped a note round to the neighbours on Friday afternoon expressing concern about the amount of debris left on the drive.

The builder came and spent quite a lot of time yesterday sweeping up the rubble and removing the cement and mortar stains from the drive.

I'm just glad it's all over. We can go back to parking our cars on our drive normally. So much for the 7 - 10 days he originally said.

OP posts:
Awhoosh · 09/04/2019 00:18

Good news they’ve gone at last and cleared up a bit.

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