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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
appointmentsaretheworst · 01/03/2019 01:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheMaddHugger · 01/03/2019 01:58

@ASurfeitOfDuncans OP who rented a spare room in her house that was entirely unsuitable for kids on AirB&B and refused entry to someone who booked it and then showed up with a toddler in tow,

You wouldn't happen to have a link to this one? Please 🌻

TheMaddHugger · 01/03/2019 02:00

OP, I for one am very happy you insisted n the safety aspect and that roof did NOT fall on top of You

((((((Big Hugs)))))🌻🌸🌼🌺

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 01/03/2019 09:22

So what's happened this morning...?

NigellaAwesome · 01/03/2019 11:10

I spoke to builder and told him what happened. He said it was a build up of rubble that had fallen and he's sorting it.

It doesn't sound like safe working practice to me, but I honestly can't be arsed to get involved by contacting the H&s people.

I'm satisfied that I've insisted on sufficient safety measures to protect my family & my property. It's NDN's responsibility to do the same for his.

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 01/03/2019 11:29

Not very reassuring...

Dont think a build up of rubble should be on a roof in the first place...

prettybird · 01/03/2019 11:54

At least you know what builder not to use should you ever want building works done Wink

cstaff · 01/03/2019 14:11

Wow OP - turns out you were so right about your neighbour and the builder. Hope you are ok.

ASurfeitOfDuncans · 01/03/2019 14:19

You wouldn't happen to have a link to this one? Please 🌻

Sorry, no. It was a couple of years ago and I CBA'd to find it out. Can't remember the title. Someone on here might remember it as the OP remembered the one where the OP was told to give away her house. That was hilarious.

Grumpelstilskin · 01/03/2019 15:28

That builder sounds utterly dodgy! There should not be a build-up of rubble like that and it des not ring true. I’d have it checked out with a structural engineer if it were my own property but stay the hell out of someone else’s project. The fact, that this CF objected to a CCTV camera outside of OP’s house shouts volumes about an unsavoury character. Only a rogue trader would be concerned about that. And while Gobby Gordon sounds like a total shitgibbon, the builder is completely unprofessional to moan about the person hiring him to OP and her DH.

ImpossibleGirl · 01/03/2019 16:10

@TheMadHugger ... The AirBnB one ... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3132603-To-have-turned-away-this-airbnb-guest?msgid=74650073

(bored at work today!!)

Jux · 01/03/2019 16:46

I remember the AirBnB one. Many of these more memorable threads are posted in places where they won't last, sadly.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 01/03/2019 17:00

So, GG has a history of bodge jobs done by dodgy workmen and now, not surprisingly, needs remedial work. For which he has employed a dodgy builder who appears to be bodging it.

Who could have foreseen that going wrong for him. Grin

countrygirl99 · 01/03/2019 18:57

weedangerous spike it really was a parallel universe situation. Has been for a long time. Ours really are neighbours from hell - following really serious harassment, police involved, we haven't been in direct contact for over 10 years but had talked to their architect. Ours is an old house that is only accessible via a narrow footpath and they saw no problem in putting up scaffolding on the path ( high brick walls on both sides) in a way that completely blocked the path. The first time OH caught the scaffolders as they started and as soon as he stood there and called Highways they packed up and left. The 2nd time son & I had left early but OH didn't start work until late. In between they had blocked the path with scaffolding. Another call to Highways and then they took it down. But the abuse we got for objecting!

TheMaddHugger · 02/03/2019 00:18

ASurfeitOfDuncans Its ok.

Hey thanks ImpossibleGirl 🌺

WeeDangerousSpike · 02/03/2019 15:24

Thanks countrygirl Grin

DH and DF are both builders, I find the breadth and depth of CFery from builders on here both fascinating and baffling in equal measure!

Justaboy · 02/03/2019 23:31

So what has been going on up on the roof then?, is the chimmey now down or are most of the tiles gone, this sounds like fun .. err Not!

My dad use to say to builders like this one ;

"You can tie your horse up over there and theres a bale of hay there too"

justilou1 · 03/03/2019 21:43

So, GG is a CF who used a CF builder and it's all gone to shit? There's a shock! Anyone else hoping for a sudden storm?

iknowimcoming · 03/03/2019 21:57

Storm you say ..........

bluebell34567 · 05/03/2019 21:11

any update???

NigellaAwesome · 05/03/2019 22:02

Chimney done. Scaffolding still up. Almost 3 weeks on. No sign of builder.

Very glad scaffolding not on our drive.

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 05/03/2019 22:05

you managed very well NigellaAwesome.

justilou1 · 09/03/2019 09:44

Has the scaffolding been cleared up? I’m dying to know what the extra drama was, but suspect GG would rather die than admit to you what happened.

NigellaAwesome · 09/03/2019 12:40

Scaffolding still here. Crud still on our drive. No builder. Not particularly happy about parking our cars beside the scaffolding as there are still big lumps of rubble caught in the netting, so having to park in odd places.

I suspect this is going to be rinse and repeat for weeks.

OP posts:
justilou1 · 09/03/2019 14:30

Lawyer... Monday. GG is a knob.