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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
BoringPerson · 28/02/2019 20:44

That's terrible. 😱. Can you take photos in the morning when it's light enough and report it to your councils building control department.

RandomMess · 28/02/2019 20:46

I really hope they've used a reputable insured builder!

bluebell34567 · 28/02/2019 21:10

BoringPerson i cant even bother to comment on your previous comment. its so silly.

ASurfeitOfDuncans · 28/02/2019 21:22

GG found your thread, Nigella.

M4J4 · 28/02/2019 21:31

Pinky's disgusted OP was proved right Grin

but when the OP has chosen to make them go down an alternative root then of course the health and safety is going to also have to be compromised.

Wow, I hope you never get a job in building control or architecture, troll or no troll Grin

ASurfeitOfDuncans · 28/02/2019 21:47

The virtue signallers are always so amusing! They add to every thread! I'd have let them use my driveway, my house, wipes their arses and served them home cooked meals because I'm just so morally superior.

The top winners definitely go to the people who told an OP who inherited a house that she should give the house to the tenants rather than service notice on them so the house could be sold and the ones who utterly flamed an OP who rented a spare room in her house that was entirely unsuitable for kids on AirB&B and refused entry to someone who booked it and then showed up with a toddler in tow, whereupon the woman kicked off in the front garden and had to be taken away by the police. That OP was supposed to welcome the woman and toddler in, offer food and nappies, find and pay for alternative accommodation for her plus a taxi to get there. It was laughable.

There have been some real crackers!

NigellaAwesome · 28/02/2019 21:48

I did phone the Health & Safety people for advice about the need for netting and waste chutes. I only wanted to get advice about what was reasonable to expect, but they would only take formal complaints.

Despite the perception of some on the thread, I really don't want to make life unnecessarily difficult for GG or his builder, so I didn't pursue it.

We have security cameras installed and apparently the builder noticed them yesterday and objected to them recording the works. Hmm He had the conversation with DH. The cameras are installed due to the nature of my job - the same job that it became apparent that GG had discussed with the builder prior to him coming to speak to us.

OP posts:
Grumpelstilskin · 28/02/2019 21:49

Oh, bore off Pinky with your misplaced virtue-signalling. I am more and more convinced that you have been a totally entitled CF on many occasions and don’t like to hear people having common sense, a backbone and not wanting to see themselves or their property hurt/damaged.

NigellaAwesome · 28/02/2019 21:50

Ooh, I remember the one about the inherited house and tenants.

OP posts:
ASurfeitOfDuncans · 28/02/2019 21:52

Oh, but they're so funny, Grumpel! I mean, you'd have to be a total fool to let someone you didn't hire and have no contract with work off your property when there is potential for damage to it.

MyNameIsJane · 28/02/2019 21:55

Oh dear!

ASurfeitOfDuncans · 28/02/2019 21:57

Oh, they are hilarious! There was another one, the OP's mother had MH issues and lived alone. She discovered that a homeless person had broken into her garden shed and was using it to lodge. Cue legions of posters saying she needed to go out there and bring him in from the cold, provide warm bedding and flasks of soup and tea (who's got the money to throw away on flasks? FFS, those aren't even cheap in ASDA) and a 'welfare pack' blah blah blah.

GabriellaMontez · 28/02/2019 21:58

How long until GG is round asking for cctv footage off you?

IM0GEN · 28/02/2019 22:04

Ah, now I understand why you so were so annoyed at your other neighbour’s indiscretion, Nigella.

almondfinger · 28/02/2019 22:09

What planet is Pinkyy living on?

'You wont let me have total and complete access to your land to do my building work so all health and safety regs are null and void!!!' That's not how it works in the real world.

Pinkyy are you a 15 year old troll living in mummy and daddy's detached house perchance. It must be wonderful being you, always so kind and accommodating.

WeeDangerousSpike · 28/02/2019 22:11

There was the one where new tenants suspected the landlords were using their tumble drier overnight, in the separate outbuilding / laundry room. Some posters immediately decided it was a homeless person trying to keep warm and thought op should leave food and a flask of tea for them, just in case!

Nigella that must have been frightening and I'm glad no injuries happened. Very lucky no one was up there when if happened.

I'm intrigued by PP who was barricaded out of their home. Sounds like one of those situations where you're checking around in case you've suddenly landed in a parallel universe where these things are normal! Shock

Wrybread · 28/02/2019 22:14

Don't mind Pinkyy they have a habit of doing stuff like this. Yawn.

Hope you're feeling a bit less shaken now, OP.

ASurfeitOfDuncans · 28/02/2019 22:22

Aw, I missed that one, Wee! Yes, the ubiquitous 'flask of soup/tea'. My flasks are all really good ones, the fuck I'm giving them away.

NigellaAwesome · 28/02/2019 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IM0GEN · 28/02/2019 22:36

Yes I guessed it was something like that.

Sorry you have this added worry now.

And yes, get your post deleted because I can work out your job from what you have posted.

RandomMess · 28/02/2019 22:38

I can't guess your job but I believe you!!! Best get deleted Thanks

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 28/02/2019 22:52

Gutted I missed the deleted post! Been following this from the beginning... Nigella a wee pm would be lovely, but I appreciate I'm just being a nosy bastard so feel free to ignore....

woolduvet · 28/02/2019 22:58

With you on that Charlotte. Every time I have a bloody wee I come back to deleted posts or threads at the moment.

timeisnotaline · 01/03/2019 00:15

That doesn’t say very much for the builder!

DishingOutDone · 01/03/2019 00:30

First of all I did say ages ago up thread that we should keep Pinkyy cos they were soooo funny. And now you've been and gone and lost them. Doh.

Anyway, back in the real world, do you think the cameras would have caught that stuff falling OP, or was it too dark do you think? You could have been in all sorts of trouble without the netting, doesn't bear thinking about. Will you change your mind and report the builder?

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