Pretty is the same as tall?

[reallyreallyreal]

AIBU

My partners opinion is that describing someone as pretty is the same as saying short or tall and as factual as their hair colour.
I guess I don't see it that way.

He said pretty and being attracted to someone are too different things.

He was describing a 14 year old and said she is quite tall, glasses, round face, quite pretty.
I thought this was odd. He says not.

AIBU is it semantics?

OP- I think you need to look deeper in yourself to find out why this bothers you so much. It really is quite a normal description.
It's not like he said 'sexy' or 'attractive' about a teen.

It sounds more like jealously on your part, strange that you may be jealous of the description of a child.

Bert. Stop reaching.... young male teens can be handsome, young female teens pretty. There is no more to it.

I'd be very surprised if DH described a 14 year old girl as pretty tbh. I don't think it's a neutral term in the same way as tall, blue eyed etc.

Did he score her Glitter? Or is that something you've just made up?

Bert what’s up with you today? You are being so caustic. I am sometimes too, usually when I’m in a bad mood. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m in a bad mood until I’ve formed a caustic opinion.

I work in a school. I have training and as is the case in education, continue to train and I would describe a pupil as pretty to another member of staff. School staff converse with one another like normal human beings you know.

It is not unheard of for a lad to be described as bonny around here either. It’s not a common term but it is an accepted one.

Yes to "pretty" not being a neutral term. It is subjective. He has decided that she's pretty, someone else could think the opposite about her. She's a human being not a painting, or a flower. Although women are often described as such.

Actually, BertrandRusssell men and boys are described with their looks all the time. In the case of men, very often by their (supposed) lack of good looks.

I think you skim read the chapters on “sexism” and “equality” in your Penguin Bumper Book on Feminism, to be honest, which is why you keep boring everyone with your pretentious proclamations on the subject.

Pretty and attracted to them are totally different things, I sincerely doubt your DP finds that he is attracted to a 14 year old girl; if he was you'd have a bigger problem than semantics.

Too much emphasis on looks nowadays. No wonder plastic surgery is so common, body dismorphia, self consciousness etc.

Lots of pressure on young girls to look like Instagram models. All clones no individuality

Bert caustic? Never! She is always so, so, so, so polite to the woo merchants...so much so that she smugly points it out quite frequently.

She’s sarcastic and rude to other women who don’t buy into her invented definition of “feminism”, though....misogyny at his finest. “Shut up women...you are not saying what I want to hear”.

Not weird at all. I would describe a girl or woman as pretty and I’m definitely not attracted to either! Also would describe a boy or man as handsome and the same would apply.

Why are there people on here pretending that men's looks are never commented on or judged? I've never heard anything so ludicrous.

@barbarianmum yes he judged her looks and marked her down as ‘pretty’ or pleasing to look at. Doing that means other young girls are looked at and judged not to meet that mark in his eyes.

I know using the term ‘pretty’ is common but you’re all fools if you don’t think the sexualisation of girls/ women doesn’t fit into this behaviour. And yes you can call a teenage boy good looking but people mention boys/ men’s attractiveness in general descriptions far far less than with women - because they’re not expected to need to be as pleasing on the eye.

Look at TV presenters for a 101 on this. This isn’t some kind of radical feminist thinking it’s a pretty well known body of research/ work!

The issue is your jealousy, not your partner's comment.

I'd describe a teenage girl as pretty, and a teenage boy as a 'young good looking lad' for example.

I asked him why he didn't say cute. He said that's americanised to mean attractive and he didn't see her as attractive.

Beachvibes it’s really not. As mentioned by lots of people we see symmetry, big eyes, small noses etc as universially attractive.

Whether it’s good to judge someone on something they have no control over is debatable. However that also applies to height as well.

“The guy would ask, do you remember who served you?
Well no, I don't know her name, but she was smaller than me, slim, long hair, pretty? And they'd go - yes, that's Abc
Similarly, I've described men as a tall, a big guy, Welsh accent?
Ah yes, that's zyx.“

Do people think these two descriptions are the same in character? That there are no specific sex based elements to them? Could they be swapped and not sound wired?

I've known boys to be described as pretty. Some boys do have a pretty face. I'd say ha swine was a different look. I've known relatives from certain areas use bonny to describe both girls and boys.

I also agree with glitter but then like that picture of that 6 year old. It is hard not to think she instantly looks beautiful.

@angelomysterioso

I find that link disturbing. A 10 year old girl lying provocatively on a tiger skin rug in adult leopard print shoes being declared ‘the most beautiful’ girl ever. She’s being declared sexually attractive and that turns my stomach

www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/beauty/what-thylane-blondeau-often-dubbed-the-most-beautiful-girl-in-the-world-looks-like-now/ar-BBNcexJ?li=AAadgLE

I'd find cute more odd I think when describing a teenager. It feels far less generic than pretty.

Cute in a young child or toddler would be fine though.
Cute for a teenager would have more links to being attracted to the person in some ways.

I think pretty is descriptive. I also know very pretty males.

He is right,in the context it was said.

Glitter

We all “score” people on how they look, it is human nature, we do so from birth.

FWIW I’m not attracted to the pretty males, not my type but I can appreciate they would be described as pretty

Agree with your husband on the word cute, I find 'cute' sexualised because of American TV.

I wouldn't like my DP describing a young girl as 'pretty' but that's because he is a teacher, so I'd find it odd when he works with people up to the age of 18.

I have described a young boy as beautiful before, I have said 'that woman's children are so pretty' and to this day I still believe that. I have never thought children were pretty/cute/whatever even babies, but these children were so pretty, big brown eyes, nice olive skin, looked so well dressed. My DP agreed and we both said how we hope our children look like that! (I'm olive skinned)

I asked him why he didn't say cute. He said that's americanised to mean attractive and he didn't see her as attractive.

Cute would be a much creepier way for an adult to describe a 14 year old girl.