Pretty is the same as tall?

[reallyreallyreal]

AIBU

My partners opinion is that describing someone as pretty is the same as saying short or tall and as factual as their hair colour.
I guess I don't see it that way.

He said pretty and being attracted to someone are too different things.

He was describing a 14 year old and said she is quite tall, glasses, round face, quite pretty.
I thought this was odd. He says not.

AIBU is it semantics?

I’m from the north east and we use ‘bonny’ in these types of scenarios, a word you would use almost exclusively for children but less gendered than pretty. On the rare occasions it is appropriate to describe a child’s perceived good looks bonny feels to me like a safer, more child centred way to say it.

Girls are described by their appearance- boys aren’t. And people who are trained to work with children and young people do their very best not to do this. So if someone who works in a school does, then it’s reasonable to assume that they haven’t had much training.

It's only odd because it suggests that he might describe someone else as ugly. Which is rather mean. As others have pointed out 'pretty' is subjective and definitely not factual.

Some boys are pretty, usually when they're very young. DGS was quite androgynous at 6-12 months, and one of my nephews was positively Praxitelean. He also swished like the Royal Opera House curtains, which increased the effect.

I don't see anything wrong with describing a girl as 'pretty' (whatever her age). I think there is a fairly universal idea of 'classically beautiful' or 'classically handsome' and to describe someone as such isn't sexist.

As for men identifying male 'beauty', I am just as likely to notice a 'handsome' man as my wife, I think men are conditioned, probably from school age, to act as though they have no perception of male attractiveness.

A pp said tall you could quantify height with a tape measure. But even then you need to decide if 5’ 11” is “ tall” or not surely.

But boys and girls are described by their appearance if you’re, well, describing them, which is what it sounds like he was doing here.

You feel insecure because he described a CHILD as pretty??

That's quite disturbing OP.

He really shouldn't be describing anyone based on their good looks or lack of them but this is a child we're talking about.

Was going to say the same as unutterable and that I’d use bonnie for both boys and girls

You’d seriously describe a 14 year old boy as “bonny”?

Even short/tall can be subjective. I've been told off on MN for describing my 5'9" adult ds as 'short'. That is short for a male in our family!

Would you feel as uneasy if he described a teenage boy as 'handsome'?

Pretty is about looks. If I describe someone as pretty, they are good looking/nice looking or look well.

If it's a one off comment made when drunk, there's nothing wrong.

Bertrand that's a normal expression for either sex in some areas.

There is nothing wrong with the comment all, drunk or sober. There is something wrong with the projection.

I think my teenage dd is pretty. Does that make me sexist?

I know plenty of people who use “Bonny”. I am pretty sure none of them would use it for a 14 year old boy.

Girls are described by their appearance- boys aren’t
I disagree, I think most women would describe people of both sexes by their looks, men wouldn’t typically say a man is handsome though (probably through some bizarre fear it will affect their masculinity).
But I would describe a man or boy for example as “tall, glasses, brown hair, handsome” without giving it a second thought

"Bonny Bobby Shafto"
Remember that? He was going to sea with silver buckles on his knees and was a favourite w the ladies so was probably at least 14.

OP, if your DH describing a teenage girl as pretty raises red flags for you, you might have more to be worried about in your marriage than his phrasing.

You feel insecure because he described a CHILD as pretty??

That's quite disturbing OP.

He really shouldn't be describing anyone based on their good looks or lack of them but this is a child we're talking about.

A lot if posts saying AIBU then I read this one and I am back to ughhh again.

@BertrandRussell bore off

Bonny where I’m from means healthy looking, cute, or good looking. It’s interchangeable 🤷🏼‍♀️
Babies - bonny means rosy cheeked, chubby, healthy looking
Kids - bonny means cute
Older - fit, healthy, or good looking

OP, if your DH describing a teenage girl as pretty raises red flags for you, you might have more to be worried about in your marriage than his phrasing.

No sign of any red flags. I don't know why I hate it.
Actually I hate him saying anyone is pretty to be honest.

I would quite happily describe a teenage boy as short, fair haired and nice looking. I think that’s exactly like what your DH has done. It certainly wouldn’t mean that I fancied them.

You sound jealous!!?