Pretty is the same as tall?

[reallyreallyreal]

AIBU

My partners opinion is that describing someone as pretty is the same as saying short or tall and as factual as their hair colour.
I guess I don't see it that way.

He said pretty and being attracted to someone are too different things.

He was describing a 14 year old and said she is quite tall, glasses, round face, quite pretty.
I thought this was odd. He says not.

AIBU is it semantics?

You can call a male pretty (Cassius Clay), it just means nice to look at, maybe connotation of being young. More usual for girls and culturally subjective. Pretty flowers, dress, hat, even horse.

I agree, I’d be more uncomfortable with the word cute for a teenager.

Unless he makes a habit of leering at 14 year olds, I wouldn’t worry.

@Glitterbugle I think you're going a bit far by saying he's saying others don't meet that mark. Waaaay overthinking it. If this guy was describing girls in a group and saying she's pretty she's ugly then you'd have a point but he wasn't!

Do you not think any of your friends are pretty? Or even beautiful? If you're not attracted to them but you think they are pretty then it's the same thing surely?

We are both teachers does this make a difference? In the same school I was asking which girl had said something as I didn't know which she was in the class.

He said in our argument he would not say it to her face obviously just like he would not say a lot of things he says to adult as pupils.

My colleague did though a year 11 was sobbing saying she was ugly. He told he she was beautiful. Think he was just trying to make her feel better though.

I would definitely saying that finding someone pretty and being attracted to them aren't necessarily the same thing. I also think it's possible for people of any age to appreciate attractiveness/beauty in others without it being 'pervy'.

@clairaloulou I don’t understand your point. If he’s declaring some girls as pretty then some others are not. There’s not much to argue there is there? I’m not saying the OP’s husband is particularly creepy or anything - a lot of men (and women) do it to women. Doesn’t mean it’s something we should support

All the people falling over themselves to declare men can be pretty too - do you truly really deep down believe that men are routinely called pretty as a descriptor. Would you use this to describe your male partner/ colleague/ friend?

I would describe my ds as tall, good looking, hair colour.

It isn't odd, it is a descriptor. Obviously pretty is more subjective, but by the same token there are kids in dds class that everyone would call pretty, eg the blonde girl with lots of blonde curls who immediately got the repsonse Aww when she was little.

There is a definitely a type of looks that fall into the pretty category. It doesn't remotely mean attractive though.

It is not a great way to describe someone obviously, but it is shorthand, like many things we say

No, it doesn’t make a difference op.

Jesus OP you get stranger and stranger. Jealous that your DH said a child was pretty?

‘Pretty’ is such a bland word. My DP calls our cat ‘pretty’, it doesn’t mean he fancies her or is being sexist towards her (he also thinks our male cat is pretty FWIW)

My friend is conventionally beautiful; DP has described her as ‘pretty’ although I know he doesn’t fancy her as she’s not his type but he still appreciates that she has a really lovely face (and her personality is also wonderful), he’s also described my godson as ‘a beautiful little boy’.

SheWore

I do agree with you. Then again why not call someone ugly? Ugly is just a descriptor afterall

@steppemum

There are kids in class that everyone would call pretty, eg the blonde girl with lots of blonde curls

So can a black girl ever be pretty then?

Captain and others thank you. You are making me feel better.

@Glitterbugle ODFOD

Nobody said black girls can’t be beautiful. Off you pop with your racism card, although I’m impressed you managed to shoehorn it in

Mirri

“Tall” in my family would sound very subjective indeed, as I’m the only woman anyone can remember breaking the 5’4 barrier. I got to adulthood thinking I was a tall and strapping specimen of a woman. Turns out I’m a fairly slightly built 5’6, I just look fairly “strapping” in comparison to the 5’3 and less dainty fairies I’m closely related to

@Glitterbugle you're being ridiculous. It is a fact of life that we are all different. Some people are rich, some aren't. Some people have good skin, some don't. Just because you say someone is pretty doesn't mean you are calling out anyone who isn't! It seems to me like you are one of those persistently offended people who go out of their way to find insults where there are none.

@Glitterbug
what a strange comment.
of course they can. I was describing a particular girl who has been called pretty since she was 3, mainly because of her extraordinary hair. (and I do wonder whether as her face grows into a more adult face, what she will look like)

My best friends daughter is mixed race, and is constantly called gorgeous, pretty and cute, however she is only 2, so I thought the example of an older girl was more relevant!

I think in this situation pretty is fine.

If she'd been walking past her in the street and he's said "she's pretty" then I would be more concerned.

He was describing how she looked like, I also describe boys as pretty sometimes. Or often people might say "tall, brown hair, good-looking lad" as an equivalent. I don't think it's sexist, if he had been commenting on her looks randomly then it would be. As in if had just said "x is really pretty" but if he's trying to describe her to you I think it's a fair word to use.

@BertrandRussell your comments are so odd. There's nothing sexist about saying someone is attractive. I'd call a little girl pretty and equally say "what a handsome/gorgeous little boy". Why are you sexualising children?

Like a PP, my DH says our cat is pretty.

He also commented last night on what a good looking bloke he thought Keanu Reeves was.

I really don't think he is sexually attracted to either.

Am I making problems out of nothing? Shall I let it go?

1000% yes

Even in Spanish communities