DH says I should complain about this situation to make the airline aware but I am not sure

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Got back from a week away in New York a few days ago.
Me and DH got on the plane the plane had rows four seats in the middle. DH was on one end, me next to him. The seat next to me was free and then there was another lady at the other end.

One of the last passengers on was this very large lady who ended up sat next to me. She ended up taking a good bit of my seat, the armrest could not be out down, she could not get the tray table done. I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway. So I put it up and left it
DH is quite tall and he did offer to move but I don’t think he would have fit in three quarter of a seat to be honest. We are now just after take off and I can feel my fibromyalgia and begin to kick because can’t move properly. DH pretents to go to the toliet and discreetly the flight attendant asks if there is anywhere I can move to.

The flight attendant says no the flight is full and says the lady should have booked two seats especially as the arm rest doesn’t go down.

I manage to sit for a hour and then I get up and stand in the aisle. The flight attendant asks if I am ok and I said yep I just needed to move for a while.

The inflight drink comes so I sit down and have a drink without using my tray.

When the meal was served I put my tray down as there was no other way I could eat it and I have diabetes so had to eat.

The women then nudges me and asks me to put my tray up and I said no sorry I needed to eat and I can’t do it with my tray up. The women then calls the flight attendant over and complains and the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want. The women bursts into tears. My husband offers to swap with her then she can have more room with the ailse but she says she is sitting in her booked seat and it being shamed into moving.
I gulp my meal down and raise my tray as quickly as I can.

By this time I am in agony and on the verge of tears myself and keep having to move into the aisle. The flight attendant takes pity on me and lets me sit in one of the jumpsears till we start coming into land. I was so grateful.

On landing a returned to my seat and the women turns to me and says I have made her feel awful and I have fat shamed her. The guy in front turns around and said it was not my fault and most people would not have been as polite as me. She bursts into tears again.

I have never been so glad to get off the plane.

Two days later I am still in agony as it has triggered a flare and feel awful. My DH says I need to complain and say the airline should have made her book 2 seats. I just don’t know as I know the seats on aircraft are not generous anyway and she could be big through no fault of her own and may not be able to afford to seats in the future.

I am up now in agony and can’t sleep and it’s all going through my mind with me thinking was I horrible and could i have handled things better.

I bloody hate flying

Sorry not usually as bad with spelling and grammer

I would be annoyed by this too. To be fair to the airline, when she booked the seat they had no way of knowing that she wouldn’t fit. The ground staff really should’ve done something about it knowing that you could not sit or eat comfortably in your own seat. I would definitely complain to the airline about this.

What are you going to complain about? The airline have no way of policing people's BMI as they're booking. Maybe she couldn't afford two seats in the first place?

It sounds like a shitty situation but I'm genuinely not sure what you could make a complaint about.

And you didn’t fat shame anyone. She should be self aware enough to know that she can’t fit in the seat and would inconvenience the people around her.

She was being difficult

You sound a teeny bit of a drama queen sorry

What point is there in contacting the airline now. Just let it go.

How was the airline to know she was too large to comfortably fit one seat? It sounds like she was incredibly embarrassed, I don't think anyone was really at fault. Although she should have accepted your husband's offer to swap. Although again, she probably felt incredibly embarrassed.

I understand you feel additional pain, but flying alone could have flared up your fibro. You could have taken up your husband's offer to swap

yes you should complain, I agree with your DH.

The airline should have a policy for this kind of thing and if they have one it clearly wasn't followed. If you don't complain other passengers will suffer like you and more overweight passengers will suffer these embarrassing situations so it helps everyone concerned, it's also possible she has complained so your input would help the airline get more of an overview.

I can't believe she asked you to put your tray up when you were eating your meal, it's just so rude!

I’d have made a god almighty fuss when the arm rest would t go down

Sounds like a horrible experience- I find plane seats cramped at the best of times.

Thing is, how could an airline force someone to book two seats? They don't ask for size/weight of passenger when booking. Are there any guidelines for this?

Hope you're recovered soon.

Although I’m not sure why you didn’t just swap with your husband if being cramped gives you fibro pain...

You didn’t fat shame her. She was ashamed of being fat. Big difference

You were actually very considerate

I don’t know do there is any point that’s why I am asking.
As for drama queen the situation causing a fibromyagia flare which means I will prob miss a least a couple of days at work this week I don’t think is drama. If I had not been in pain I would have sucked it up and got on with it

Questionable mouse. The ground staff would have seen her size and her ticket and seen she only has one seat booked. Therefore they could have sorted it. I would complain if I had been in the same situation as the op.

You sound a teeny bit of a drama queen sorry
fucking drama queen - expecting to eat your meal on a tray table

Some airlines do have a policy of making passengers who can’t fit comfortably in a seat book a second (sometimes at a discount)

Who did you fly with?

I fly quite a bit and it doesn’t cause a fibro flare. One of the main triggers is not being able to stretch my legs or arms. It was the arms that were the main problem. I start to get stuff and then the pain comes on.

I did say why I don’t swap with my husband, he would not have fit in three quarters of seat and he is tall and broad (he fits in one seat fine)
It was just to make the airline aware really for my sake and the larger lady as well. Airlines will have to address this at some point with people getting bigger on the whole. Not sure now, maybe a few rows could have just three bigger seats

They seem to manage perfectly with oversized hand luggage and suitcases

Why not a ‘width’ door to go through?
Or sit them next to a two year as they charge full price?

This lady booked her seat knowing an isle would suit her better if she didn’t or couldn’t buy two seats

You’ve done nothing wrong

Can I say who I flew with on here. It was a big well known airline.

The stewardess said she would have moved me to first class if there had have been room. I would not have minded if she had moved the larger lady to first class to be honest

I thought it was a role that the armrest had to be down for takeoff, if so the air crew should have noticed this when they check that everyone is ready to take off (seat belt buckled, tray up etc).
In terms of informing the airline, I'm not sure why you wouldn't - unless you don't mind it happening again?

There comes a point when the airline should be asking 'have you booked two seats' and if the answer is 'no' then 'sorry, either you book another seat or you can't fly'

It's not just comfort, it's putting people at risk of dvt if they can't stretch or get out of their seat

I sympathise but what could the airline have done?
If the flight was full then there is bugger all they can do about it.
There is no way of knowing if you will fit in a seat. Granted if this lady was very large then she should have know. That said I’m a 16 and have struggled to fit before now.
The airlines don’t tell you the width of the seats when you book or ask your size.

Didn't you have to select your seats online beforehand? Why on earth couldn't she have selected an aisle seat at the very least? One with extra leg room is often only about £30 or so extra.

I would complain. Those seats are cramped enough as it is.

I really don’t know if would be awful for people to have to go through a width door to see if they are too fat for one seat.

My friend had this coming back from Australia. She was sat inbetween a very large couple one of whom booked the aisle seat and one who booked the window seat and she was squashed between them. Luckily there was another seat on the plane free. As she moved she heard the man say to women “look it worked again we have three seats”
She was shocked as she just assumes that one likes the aisle and the other the window seat. Most people are not twats like that though.
As I said it’s getting more common was people not been able to fit in the seat especially as I said with the seats not really being generous to begin with.

Although again, she probably felt incredibly embarrassed.

She insisted on remaining in her booked seat, which she must have realised was a centre seat when she booked it. Presumably when she was also aware of being extremely obese and able to anticipate that it might be a problem. I would have complained at the time if I wasn't able to sit comfortably in the seat I had booked and paid for due to another passenger encroaching on the space. I'm not sure how anything could be done about this now though, if you didn't make a formal complaint at the time.