DH says I should complain about this situation to make the airline aware but I am not sure

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Got back from a week away in New York a few days ago.
Me and DH got on the plane the plane had rows four seats in the middle. DH was on one end, me next to him. The seat next to me was free and then there was another lady at the other end.

One of the last passengers on was this very large lady who ended up sat next to me. She ended up taking a good bit of my seat, the armrest could not be out down, she could not get the tray table done. I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway. So I put it up and left it
DH is quite tall and he did offer to move but I don’t think he would have fit in three quarter of a seat to be honest. We are now just after take off and I can feel my fibromyalgia and begin to kick because can’t move properly. DH pretents to go to the toliet and discreetly the flight attendant asks if there is anywhere I can move to.

The flight attendant says no the flight is full and says the lady should have booked two seats especially as the arm rest doesn’t go down.

I manage to sit for a hour and then I get up and stand in the aisle. The flight attendant asks if I am ok and I said yep I just needed to move for a while.

The inflight drink comes so I sit down and have a drink without using my tray.

When the meal was served I put my tray down as there was no other way I could eat it and I have diabetes so had to eat.

The women then nudges me and asks me to put my tray up and I said no sorry I needed to eat and I can’t do it with my tray up. The women then calls the flight attendant over and complains and the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want. The women bursts into tears. My husband offers to swap with her then she can have more room with the ailse but she says she is sitting in her booked seat and it being shamed into moving.
I gulp my meal down and raise my tray as quickly as I can.

By this time I am in agony and on the verge of tears myself and keep having to move into the aisle. The flight attendant takes pity on me and lets me sit in one of the jumpsears till we start coming into land. I was so grateful.

On landing a returned to my seat and the women turns to me and says I have made her feel awful and I have fat shamed her. The guy in front turns around and said it was not my fault and most people would not have been as polite as me. She bursts into tears again.

I have never been so glad to get off the plane.

Two days later I am still in agony as it has triggered a flare and feel awful. My DH says I need to complain and say the airline should have made her book 2 seats. I just don’t know as I know the seats on aircraft are not generous anyway and she could be big through no fault of her own and may not be able to afford to seats in the future.

I am up now in agony and can’t sleep and it’s all going through my mind with me thinking was I horrible and could i have handled things better.

I bloody hate flying

Yes, she should have booked two seats. But she didn't.

I can't see how it's the airline's fault. The crew did what they could when the situation arose - there were no spare seats and they can't magic one up. So they allowed the OP to use a crew seat until landing.

OP could email the carrier and explain that her flight was very uncomfortable and tell them why. But going forward, i'm not sure what could be done to stop it happening again.

I also was seated between two obese people on a leg of a flight From Australia. They were father and daughter and had clearly booked knowing they wouldn’t fit and hoped the seat in between would remain empty,

I was 5 ft 3 and eight stone but still found the flight incredibly uncomfortable. There were no other seats free on the flight and both took up part of my seat, i went to the toilet and when I came back I couldn’t wedge myself back in - it was very embarrassing. They didn’t talk to me or acknowledge the situation.

The air stewards were kind and discreet, but couldn’t offer to move even one of them.

I am not sure what the solution is. I don’t want people to be humiliated on a flight, but I also want to be able to sit comfortably in the seat I paid for.

Flights need to decline entry to those who cannot fit within their assigned seat 😒

If people can’t fit in the rollercoaster seats at theme parks attendants don’t just wave them on and say ‘oh well’ 😡

It should have been the larger lady being told ‘sorry this flight is full’ whilst trying to by the second seat she needed. Not another disabled passenger being forced to sit in 3/4 of a seat for hours.

What annoys me most is that the inconsiderate large passenger had the absolute audacity to try and make you the bad guy OP. ‘You have fat shamed me’ - no you fat shamed yourself when you got on a flight in which you knew your size would largely inconvenience others 😒 and neglected to book an extra seat!

I would have put the arm rest down as soon as I sat in my seat and refused to lift it. You’re entitled to the seat that you paid for and if another passenger can’t fit into theirs then that is there problem.

I am autistic, I have a special pass to get me through the airport quickly. Being squished up against someone else on the flight would be untenable for me, I’d end up standing in the aisle. Airlines really need to better balance the needs of people with disabilities vs the wants of large people to use other peoples’ paid-for space.

YANBU at all, OP.

I would have kept the arm rest down and made sure i sat upright and didnt allow her to take up my space.
Anyone who doesnt fit a seat should be removed from the plane and booked onto the next available flight. Bloody ridiculous

And all this whinging about it costing more to book 2 seats, you should pay for what you use

I would complain. What have you got to lose? The airline needs to know. I too thought it was part of take off checks that the armrest had to be down?

How can the grounds people sort it when they saw her size if it was a fully booked flight! 🤨 this sounds like the lady who was filmed and plastered all over the news.... 🙄

Sometimes you have to say no to someone. No sorry, this flight is full, we cannot safely accommodate you.

She knew she was being a CF

It happened to me, but I had a breastfeeding infant too! I booked the bassinet seat on the end and the lady demanded I swop (I didn't) I couldn't feed my dd that side because the lady's fat covered my breast even. BA were super apologetic and let me use the pursers room (747) during the flight to feed and the crew spent hours holding her (along with several passengers, I never was short of baby minders on those long haul flights, plenty of grannies on their way to visit family). The lady threatened to sue BA because the bassinet bench stuck into her, she must have been 20 stone- no idea if she complained formally but when I got brought a business class meal she was livid! On a full flight there's nothing else that they can do, kicking her off the flight runs the risk of being sued too

did you declare your illness to the airline?

OP did the person require a seat belt extension to get the belt to do up? My understanding is that the belts generally aren't that long so I would be surprised if the belt did fit.

If she was carrying her own extension she would likely have been aware that she doesn't fit in the seat, and if she needed the crew to bring it, that should have made the crew aware early on.

Like a previous poster suggested, don't complain but give factual feedback to improve crew training in the future.

I'm not sure how 2 seats helps.
You'd have to sit in the middle with the curvature of the seats being all wrong for your shape.
To be comfortable, you'd really need 3 seats, so you can spread both ways.

Paying a bit extra for a bulkhead seat with extra legroom wouldn't help either, as these tend to have solid armrests (for the table and entertainment screen)

I don't know how overweight people tolerate air travel, I'm a size 12 to 14 (admittedly with a big arse) and have no spare room in my seat for more Me.

Being slim doesn’t make you morally superior you know.

No but it does mean you fit in your seat

Whatever the reason the other lady was overweight is totally irrelevant

Can't believe people are jipping the op

OP you did nothing wrong, I don't see the harm in complaining and if you want to you should. You paid money, you didn't get what you paid for

Most airlines have a policy on the armrest needing to be down and the need to have two seats in certain circumstances. I'd find these and them complain if they haven't complied. If they don't have policy complain saying that their lack of policy impacted on your health and safety on the plain.

My DH doesn’t fit in one seat, not because he is particularly fat but because his shoulders are wider than the seat. We don’t fly economy for that reason. It’s not necessary to purchase two seats but people do need to buy a seat in which they will fit. We get away with it short haul as we put dd 3 between us. As a pp said units of space are paid for and measured in seats and the measurements of each seat are available for all to see, if you need more you need to pay up, not just take the space someone else has paid for.

I’ve been in an identical situation. After an hour of being contorted because I could only use part of my seat I insisted the hostesses found me an alternative seat. I believe I ended up in one they would have normally used. I don’t have fibro and I was in pain for days after. I was also made out to be fat shaming, obviously I should have accepted being crushed with grace. The man sharing my seat was travelling with a group - he intentially sat with us so he didn’t crush them (I overheard his companions say this!!). Sorry you had this, it’s a horrible situation to be in as no one likes to feel they have upset another.

Your fibromyalgia is a red herring in this situation. I understand that it means that you are more affected by it than most people, but tbh I would have back spasms the next day if I were forced to sit in cramped conditions without being able to move for any length of time. I have no specific health concerns.

I’m quite small, so I find that people often encroach into my space when flying (even people who do fit in the seat if they are tall/broad). It’s really hard because it means I can’t wriggle or stretch which is uncomfortable. You do need to complain, whether or not they do anything, because you’ve paid to use space on the plane, you were denied the ability to use the space because someone else was using more than the space they paid for. Ultimately if people don’t complain then as far as the airline is concerned there is no issue, even if safety requirements (armrests etc) aren’t adhered to.

I flew to California once with a colleague who was similarly wedged in by a large passenger. That guy brought a ton of food with him and ate pretty much non stop for a 12 hour flight!

If she couldn't put down the armrest then they shouldn't have allowed her to board. You suffered as a result of the airlines failings and because of this ladies lifestyle choices. You were not "fat shaming" her, a phrase that is grossly perused by the way, by overly sensitive people who don't want to face the fact that they are fat.

You clearly don't "pay for what you use" because a tiny 10kg two year old pays the same as a 5 ft 2, 45kg, 11 year old, and a 4 ft 11, 6 stone woman pays the same as an also not overweight 6 ft 6, 14 stone man...

I'm doubting this happened exactly the way the op describes only because I do not believe that the overweight woman would have declined the offer of the aisle seat.

You have a right to be able to use the whole seat and tray that you actually paid for, so YANBU. I think you should complain to the airline so that eventually something can be done about it. Given that all the baggage is carefully weighed, it's ridiculous that people aren't! A person can easily be 2-3 times the weight of another. I think you should have to state weight when booking and if you are over a certain amount then in different, wider seats at a premium (and you should have to stand on scales on the way through to check you didn't cheat). Pregnant people should be able to get the larger seats for free.

The airline had no way of knowing at the time of booking how big she was, but when she got on the plane the staff should have noticed that she didn’t fit in her booked seat and should have removed her from the flight. If I were you I’d have complained the second she sat down though. I’d expect a refund and an apology.

It must be awful to fly when you are overweight. The judgment of other passengers, the uncomfortable ever shrinking seats.

It’s no excuse for bad behaviour on either part, and everyone deserves to be comfortable on a flight.

The airlines need to do better

Pinkbells why should pregnant women (pregnant "people" ) get the wider seats for free? Your weird idea penalises 6 ft 6 men who aren't heavier than 4 ft 11 women due to any choices they've made. Why do pregnant women get a free upgrade?

I don't think either category should be treated differently but if you're going to bring in paying by weight you can't make an exemption just for categories you might fall into!

The fitting into a standard seat with the arm rest down is a fair place to draw the line if very clear and unequivocal warnings are in place at every stage of the booking process.

If you want to charge by the kg it has to be no exceptions, and mean the 2 year old in a seat pays less than the 11 year old, and the 5 stone anorexic pays less than the healthy athletic 5 ft 11 sportswoman who fits perfectly into her seat and far less than her 6 ft 4 rugby player husband - it can't be a value judgement.

If you use two seats you should pay for 2 seats, if you use 1 seat you should pay for 1 seat. It's sold in seats