DH says I should complain about this situation to make the airline aware but I am not sure

[Redcampions]

Got back from a week away in New York a few days ago.
Me and DH got on the plane the plane had rows four seats in the middle. DH was on one end, me next to him. The seat next to me was free and then there was another lady at the other end.

One of the last passengers on was this very large lady who ended up sat next to me. She ended up taking a good bit of my seat, the armrest could not be out down, she could not get the tray table done. I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway. So I put it up and left it
DH is quite tall and he did offer to move but I don’t think he would have fit in three quarter of a seat to be honest. We are now just after take off and I can feel my fibromyalgia and begin to kick because can’t move properly. DH pretents to go to the toliet and discreetly the flight attendant asks if there is anywhere I can move to.

The flight attendant says no the flight is full and says the lady should have booked two seats especially as the arm rest doesn’t go down.

I manage to sit for a hour and then I get up and stand in the aisle. The flight attendant asks if I am ok and I said yep I just needed to move for a while.

The inflight drink comes so I sit down and have a drink without using my tray.

When the meal was served I put my tray down as there was no other way I could eat it and I have diabetes so had to eat.

The women then nudges me and asks me to put my tray up and I said no sorry I needed to eat and I can’t do it with my tray up. The women then calls the flight attendant over and complains and the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want. The women bursts into tears. My husband offers to swap with her then she can have more room with the ailse but she says she is sitting in her booked seat and it being shamed into moving.
I gulp my meal down and raise my tray as quickly as I can.

By this time I am in agony and on the verge of tears myself and keep having to move into the aisle. The flight attendant takes pity on me and lets me sit in one of the jumpsears till we start coming into land. I was so grateful.

On landing a returned to my seat and the women turns to me and says I have made her feel awful and I have fat shamed her. The guy in front turns around and said it was not my fault and most people would not have been as polite as me. She bursts into tears again.

I have never been so glad to get off the plane.

Two days later I am still in agony as it has triggered a flare and feel awful. My DH says I need to complain and say the airline should have made her book 2 seats. I just don’t know as I know the seats on aircraft are not generous anyway and she could be big through no fault of her own and may not be able to afford to seats in the future.

I am up now in agony and can’t sleep and it’s all going through my mind with me thinking was I horrible and could i have handled things better.

I bloody hate flying

And I agree with the comments saying it doesn't matter why you are fat, you should get a second seat. You definitely don't have the right to 'spill' into the seat of another passenger, as blunt as that sounds.

I can't believe the hard time @Redcampions is getting on here. She was incredibly polite and considerate of a woman who was neither of those things.

Yes complain to the airline and ask to be compensated. If you have been to your doctor for your current flair up, ask for a letter explaining how you are.

This is a problem that probably happens all the time and they should have a policy and procedure to deal with it.

The fibromyalgia is irrelevant

She was so large the armrest and tray table couldn’t go down.
She should have been bumped from the plane or you moved into business or first

I’d have been livid

I’d complain but if it is BA I would not hold my breath Alex Cruz is a cheap fucker

disclaimer I have only read the OP. not the thread....

Gosh I swear I've read this before...

Wish I could remember by who so You two could hook up and chat and find how the other person ended up handling this. She also had Fibro. All deets identical.

That’s interesting will have to search for the other thread

What’s the point of writing to the airline to “make them aware”? They are aware. Staff were there when it happened. The airline is not going to put any kind of fat marker next to her name (if you even know it) for future reference if she books again.

If what you mean is “should I write and ask for compensation because another passenger’s behaviour caused me stress and pain?”, by all means do so (she sounds like she behaved unreasonably and you did not) but be honest about it. I doubt you’ll get anything back though. If the airline didn’t think it necessary to take her off the plane if she didn’t buy two tickets then they aren’t going to accept they did anything wrong.

If airlines don’t tell their passengers the point when they need to book two seats, how are they supposed to know?

At what point did the world stop expecting people to use common sense? You cannot honestly tell me that you don't think someone who is too large to fit in a standard seat doesn't know that? I'm sick of the fucking world going 'oh I wasn't told' and using that as an excuse about something which anyone with half a brain cell could understand.

I have two friends that are very large. For years, long before anyone ever talked about overweight people on planes, they have been booking three seats between them when they fly. No one has ever criticised, fat shamed them or been rude to them, because they understand their own limitations and take steps to mitigate their impact upon others. Common fucking sense.

I am very big and I do not use air travel because I wouldn't want to encroach on anybidy elses space!! I feel very overweight people are very selfish to to so.

Airlines should make people give their height and weight at the time of booking and weighed at check in.

Fuck em

She handled it badly and tried to make you feel uncomfortable. I think she was probably fishing for a free upgrade.

I think you handled it well, it sounds like a nightmare.

I do think you should write a letter to the airline asking for them to review their policies. As someone else said, maybe there needs to be a replica seat somewhere for people to try, and airlines should be refusing access to the flight at the gate if it looks like someone will take up more than 1 seat.

You should also have to tick a box when booking a flight to confirm that you have read the seat dimensions and understand that access can be refused at the gate if you will require more than 1 seat.

Complaining to companies isn’t just about getting some kind of compensation, it’s to make them aware of a situation they can fix so it doesn’t happen again. See it more as customer feedback, rather than a complaint.

I think you were far far kinder and considerate than many would have been. The woman would have been fully aware she needed 2 seats, she was just trying to get away with only paying for 1 seat by using half of your seat. My mum used to work with a lady who needed 2 seats everytime she flew, she didn’t bury her head in the sand about it and paid for 2.

You didn’t fat shame her she fat shamed herself, the incident could have been avoided if she’d just paid for 2 seats. Ground staff were probably too scared of getting a complaint from the woman for telling her she needed 2 seats but she really needed to be told.

Are people getting so fat that airlines now need an airline seat at check in to make sure everyone fits, you know like they do at Alton towers so they don’t make you get off the ride after 2 hours of queuing (happened to a very overweight friend of mine, he refused to try the “will you fit on me?” Seat and held the entire ride up when the harness didn’t fit).

People need to accept they are overweight and act accordingly. I’d be putting in a complaint and letting them know what a terrible journey you had and how it has since made you unwell.

She should have been removed from the plane when the armrest didn't go down at take off. I think armrests should be required to be down for the whole flight unless people are flying together, it would help prevent situations like this happening.

If you are too fat to fit in a seat then buy 2, if you can't afford 2 then tough shit really. I'd be furious and I'd complain. You have a right to enjoy your flight. I'd have been sorely tempted to ram the arm rest down.

Wasn’t there a case recently when a guy had taken an airline to court for something similar. (Sorry if already referenced). He had to sit in an awkward position during the flight due to a large person bring next to him and it caused or aggreavated a back problem or something.

Had the fight been turbulent, you’d have had to sit there the whole time. The arm rests should be down for safety, it stops people sliding into each other in the event of a crash.

This type of problem needs addressing either at the time of booking or at check in. Clearly a very sensitive subject. Once onboard it’s too late to be dealt with as if a passenger needs offloading, their bags need finding, and would cause a delay.

I'm not sure complaining would do anything re getting larger people to book 2 seats. They cannot discriminate against people with a large BMI or even ask at booking - but at the same time neither should that affect the enjoyment of the facilities for others .

I would write an email explaining your difficulties with bullet points.
Set out what the air stewards did and ask that they ensure these adjustments are always available on board.

Planes are odd environments. You are places in close proximity to complete strangers. You can't control what those complete strangers will be like. Sadly this is part of air travel.

Slightly off topic but the Alton Towers post reminded me of when dd went with her friend and friends dad.
The 2 girls went on the ripsaw. An overweight woman got on and the ride could not function properly.
The staff moved the woman to a different seat and the ride broke down. All the passengers were in mid air upside down with the ride unable to flip back over. Dd said her friend was nearly passing out!
They had to lower the ride with the riders all still hanging upside down, tell the overweight woman to get off and as compensation they kept all the other riders on for an extra ride. Dd said they couldn't wait to get off.
I know I shouldn't but it still makes me chuckle. Dd said they both felt sick and dizzy by the time it was all over and her friends dad had to stand and watch all this palavour.

There should be a question at time of booking with a tick box if your girth is over a certain measurement, then a warning should come up letting the customer know that they will be measured and maybe refused at the boarding gate.

US airlines usually have a ‘Passenger of Size’ policy. Two seats need to be paid for but a percentage up to the full amount of the second seat may be refunded.
But the passenger then does not ‘own’ that seat for the journey and the company may resell it if the flight is full.
I am large and had not flown for 15 years. But due to a family emergency I ended up in the position of actually buying plane tickets on the journey to the airport. I am also mobility impaired so needed to inform them I needed assistance. I did not know that I would not fit in a seat and was mortified when I realised. The staff were wonderful as were the passengers I had to interact with, one woman insisted I swap with her husband and was really nice about it. Over 4 plane journeys this was mentally exhausting though and I have not flown since.
I have a disease called Lipoedema. It makes me fat. I can’t help it. It has also robbed me of my mobility, my mental peace of mind, It affects me in a lot of ways. But all people see is that I am fat as it must be my fault, because they can stay slim so everybody else should.

The airline should have a procedure for identifying the problem before passengers board. I would complain that the airline didn't do this. This is increasingly common and airlines need to deal with this, so that passengers aren't submitted to hours of sitting cramped and in pain.

However if you find yourself in a similar situation SAY SOMETHING to the cabin crew before takeoff. You need to have your armrest down, it's a safety requirement for takeoff and landing. Tell them you can't sit there. Once the plane has taken off, if it's full, there is nothing they can do. I'd rather 'cause a scene' before takeoff than endure hours of discomfort.

Airline seats are well known for being cramped. The lady knew she wouldn't be getting a very generous seat. She has the option to pay for a second seat or not flying.

Whenever I get on a plane the first thing I do is put down my armrest in case this happens, does this make me a terrible person.

I think this was a dangerous situation and the woman should have been moved to a quieter flight where it would be safer.

I think you should also complain to the airline, the staff inflight are aware obviously but you complaining to the airline could help them and other passengers not being stuck in that situation again. You could highlight that the inflight staff did as much as they could but neither of you should have been in that situation which has had a very real impact on you.

The airlines should have wder sears just like they have legroom seats and on booking show the maximum width and height to comfortably fit in that seat.

Having to book 2 seats is too much financial penalty for being overweight - but a premium like the extra legroom would not be.

I think I would have got cross with the other passenger if she started telling me I'd fat shamed her . Bloody cheek .. who's fault is it that she is too big for the airlines chair except hers ( for whatever reason ) I'm a size 12 and I pretty much fill up the seats so she must have known . How dare she have a go at you !! Not sure there is a lot you can do but I would let the airline know as maybe they can adjust their training for ground staff ?

Not at all snuggy I also hate people that put their seats back for the whole journey. Selfish gits. Some of us have legs longer than 28" and need a bit of space. I get the rage with it and purposely shove my knees in. Sleep time = fine, eating/drinking or other times = shit heads!