To object to this form of address in the 21st century?

[clary]

We got a letter from school addressed to Mr and Mrs J Johnson. *

My name is not Jacinda nor Jennifer. My initial is in fact not J. My husband's name however is Jeremy.

Have I, having done something so bourgeois as get married, now lost the right to my first initial?

Our bank manages Mr J Johnson and Mrs C Johnson. Or I would also be fine with a simple Mr and Mrs Johnson. We are the only Mr and Mrs Johnson at this address.

I'm not going to complain to the school. But am I reasonable to be slightly seething?

*All names changed.

You must have let a very sheltered life if this upsets you. Perhaps you could devote all your faux outrage to something useful. Oh and [buscuit]

*

I use Dr because that's my title. Why shouldn't I use it? It also saves me having to explain anything about my marital status which is very rarely relevant to anything. If I'm forced to I use Ms but it's not my title - Dr is.

I dont know what to go by. I'm divorced but dont like being known as Mrs X anymore obviously.

But i feel far too old at 34 to go back to Miss Y.

I am however engaged and hoping to married again this year so I'll be Mrs Z which I dont mind.

Its just this inbetween stage!

As has been said countless times - if you have asked someone to address you a certain way and they disregard this, then that is rude. It doesn't matter what Debretts says (which is horribly outdated and pointless), or what your great-aunt matilda's cat's cousins's sisters best friend thinks. If you are married to Oswald Skittlekeks, and ask to be known as/addressed as Ms Mary Fanackerpan Bloggs and someone constantly refers to you as Mrs Oswald Skittlekeks then they are RUDE.

I've just had to pull someone up on this. A former teacher who is the PA/Secretary of a local group to which I belong. My email is in my known form of address. I sign everything with my known form of address. I attend regular meetings and introduce myself by my known form of address. But she calls me Mrs Husbandname. Every. Time.
And when I ask her not to she claims to 'forget'. God knows how she managed to teach a class if she can't remember one persons' name.

if you have asked someone to address you a certain way and they disregard this, then that is rude.

Oh yes, tell the school that they should have hundreds of method of address that suit everyone's current fad, they've nothing better to do, have they?

I think it's just etiquette. Most places don't do it anymore either Mr and Mrs surname or both but I know if a letter comes from nan it will say Mr and Mrs and my husband's initial even though she is my nan. I don't think it something to get upset about ❄️ schools may have have a set formula unless otherwise asked as they have better things to be worrying about but I'm sure if you asked they would change it.

naughty step my DCs school manage perfectly well.