First date - should the man pay?

[Newbuild]

Haven’t been on a first date in a long time but when I did I always offered to split it 50/50 and happy to pay for myself but actually I don’t think I’ve ever been on one where he hasn’t insisted and eventually paid.
Watching first dates (the programme) and she completely writes her date off because he didn’t offer to pay for their meal. So wondered what was ‘normal’... do you expect the bloke to pay or go Dutch? Would you judge him if he didn’t offer?

It's nice to offer, and then take it from there. Many men would like to be chivalrous, but often don't have the readies to do that. An offer to pay, even if refused will be sure to be gratefully received.

I’ve always done rounds.

If I don’t like the guy I’ll go half’s with him and if I do, and he offers, then I will accept his offer to pay so I can say ‘I’ll get the next one’ and secure the next date.

I'd go Dutch.
Not just on a first date either, preferably for the whole relationship if it lead to one
That said my ex's have been cock lodgers

Out if interest.

What is a female Cock Lodger called?

@WeeTinkerMonkey
A gold digger?!

Out if interest

What is a female Cock Lodger called

Gold digger but bless you for trying.

Gold digger isn't the same is it?

I understood a Cock Lodger is a man that does nothing round the house, pays nothing towards the house and expects his golden penis to be enough to pay his share.
Basically living for free but giving cock, hence, cock lodger.

Going by your posts on the UC thread and here tinker you are lefty dude bro.

Men don’t generally attract cock lodgers. Because a cock lodger is a man who targets a woman with her own place while he’s usually living in a bedsit. It can be quite often lonely single mums as they can be easy prey (in the cocklodgers eyes) and usually have a home (be it rented or owned) that has all the home comforts they are seeking. They then move in by stealth usually. Then proceed to contribute nothing. Hence the term.

It’s less common to find the above situation with the sexes reversed.

A gold digger isn’t quite the same thing but I guess the closest equivalent.

lefty dude bro

I don't know what that is.
I'm flattered you took the time to let me know tho.

Well as we are doing labelling..............

If you want to give me a clue what a lefty dude bro is I'd appreciate it.

I don't vote labour, labour is lefty isn't it?
I have no clue what dude bro is and Google is just giving me American examples of liking sports, I don't. Liking drinking, I don't. Playing video games, I don't. Going to the gym, I don't. Etc etc.

Tinker is everything I dislike in a man.

I like a beer swilling, rugby playing, fit gym-going, paying for first dates kinda guy.

This guy doesn't drink, dislikes women, will make them pay halves, doesn't keep fit, and is on here talking down to the womenz. Go be a man honey!

Lefty Dude bro's are incredibly insecure in their manhood
Nope

which makes them: insanely jealous of their girl friends, overly macho, and laughably homophobic.
Nope.

Please highlight what posts suggest such things.

All I've done I suggest it's sexist to expect one person to pay for another just because they're male.
That if equality and an end to sexism into come bout until people of either sex stop practicing sexism.

Oh and lest I forget, he earns fuck all and speaks about women with his other pathetic comrades like they're cnuts out for his hard earned feeble salary.

Some of us want a guy who has ambition, drive, intelligence, power etc.

You really don't fit the bill.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can honestly say that I have never liked a guy who is on benefits and thought to myself, I really like this guy, I'm going to ask him out on a date and pay for it. It just doesn't happen.

@WeeTinkerMonkey

Some Sunday evening reading for you.

www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/women-should-say-goodbye-sexist-left-ditum-1-5541873

Can you not find any men to hang out with Tinker? Or are you forcing your equality onto us by coming on here to give your tuppence worth.

Everything you have blasted out on here is sexist, offensive and misogynistic and bigoted weetinkle. So it wouldtake me too long to highlight it all.

You do fit that exact profile of 'Lefty dude bro' to a T though!

Men like you (who clearly hate women) are always, without fail, massively insecure, woman hating, and homophobic too. I have never met a man who likes and respects women, who is homophobic. Similarly, every man I have ever met who is as misogynistic as you, is also homophobic.

Misogynism and homophobia usually go hand in hand.

Have read all the thread now. Started reading yesterday.

I don't have strong opinions on who pays for the first date.

Even if the idea a man being expected to pay for the first date isn't sexist according to some people the language used to describe men and women insist on paying the bill is.

A man insisting he pays for them both has been described with words such as polite, caring, generous, gentlemanly, chivalrous, traditional.

The words used to describe women insisting they their half have been controlling, domineering, ruining the mood, butch, controlling.

If a man insisting to pay for my meal is generous, kind and a gentleman. Why would a woman insisting be a dominating butch killjoy?

"Insisting" does imply one had ignored the other party when they've said no more than once. I won't want to start a relationship with a man who thinks he can insist I agree to something I don't want. That's my boundary. If I say no I mean no, that doesn't mean I'm sitting there in strop. I can say "no I insist I'll get this" and take my card out to pay in the same way a male can but it appears if you're female and do this it's not the kind romantic gesture it is when a male does it?

Yes I would hope the man would pay

Hi all - it seems a bit unfair on the OP to let their thread get derailed like this. Please bear this in mind when posting.

Back when I was dating, I would typically offer to pay on a first date. This was never because I expected sex (I would never expect sex on a first date regardless) and certainly the idea that it was some sort of 'dominating behaviour' would never have crossed my mind.

I offered to pay because it was, generally, me that initiated the date but, most importantly, because I just thought it was a nice thing to do (yes, that simple).

Now I'm married, me and my wife generally split the cost of 'dates' (just use the joint account). However, sometimes I will pick up the bill (we have our own money too) but ALWAYS for the same reason, because it's a nice thing to do and it's nice to treat* the person you love sometimes.

*I used the word 'treat' intentionally because it seems to rub some people up the wrong way. Just to clarify, if I 'treat' my wife to something (a meal, a massage, some shoes she's eyeing up or whatever) it's not some controlling action or because 'I'm the man', it's because I think 'this will make her smile'. Likewise, my wife will sometimes 'treat' me unexpectedly with nothing but good intentions.