I've realised today that I've raised boys who will be terrible partners

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They kind, funny and caring. They know how to cook and clean the bathroom. They couldnt identify pink or blue jobs. Theyre looking like they might actually hace decent careers. They've seem both their mother and father be the primary homemaker/child carer at various times because of differing work and study commitments. They've (mostly!) seen a marriage built around mutual care and respect.

But, they have never been shown that it's a requirement for a man to push the boat out for Valentine's Day. I didn't realise how important some women think that is or how upset they get when it doesn't happen. I had no idea it was even celebrated within a marriage , let alone taken so seriously.

They're going to be very disappointing spouses

I don’t see how it’s funny to belittle people over a harmless occasion and on top off that brag about how superior you are just because you don’t view something the same way

Don't worry OP, I doubt any partner they find will be able to live up to your standards therefore you'll have your golden boys to yourself forever l

I can't believe this is being taken seriously. It's a joke. Is this also National Loss of Sense of Humour day?

This
I read the post.
Had a chuckle.
Hoped I'd brought my son up to be a good partner (he's 23 )
Then was surprise at all the comments.
I got a beautiful card off dh (thought he forget as very busy with work ) and Flowers's - loved it.
People it was a joke!!!!
No woman would choose romance over a dp who helped around the house.
But you can have both ( or am I boasting now).

It's not a joke, it's a roundabout way of saying that women are unreasonable about Valentine's Day.

"I had no idea it was even celebrated within a marriage"

Poor you.

There is no contradiction whatsoever between raising a decent, feminist bloke and raising someone who gives Valentine's Day presents. It's totally false to think that there is some opposition between being feminist and making an effort to get your partner a present they will enjoy. Quite the reverse, in fact: gift giving is part of emotional labour that is required in any relationship. My guess is that a bloke who is pretty good at buying for his wife will also not assume that it is his wife's job to get the Christmas presents for his mother, brother, sister etc.

I bought DH a new mobile phone today, because his old one is on its last legs. He got me a chainsaw.

downcast spot on.

Very pointlessly smug, also seemed to presume your sons future partners will be female?
I hope you teach your wonderful little children that It may be boyfriend who’s disappointed on Valentine’s Day at their wonderful bathroom cleaning/employability skills but no flowers.

I couldn’t give two shits about Valentines Day.

If a friend did and it was ignored I would feel really sad for her. It’s nothing to do with whether people should or shouldn’t celebrate it, it’s about bothering to know what your partners feelings are on things like this so that you’re on the same page and nobody is hurt or disappointed.

So, yes, OP. If your sons never actually bother finding out how their partners feel about Valentine’s Day and just blindly and pigheadedly assume it is done your families way by everybody or else they are wrong, they will very much be shit partners.

Ooo a humble-brag.

What might make your sons terrible husbands is if they've inherited your holiier-than-thou smugness.

Oh look another Valentine’s Day sneerfest. Why can’t you just do you, (which seems to mostly involve you dislocating your shoulder whilst trying to pat yourself on the back) and let others do them?

Well trolled OP, well trolled!

I wonder how many "why didn't he propose to me?! We're living together 10 years and have 3 kids and I do all the house work and child care and I was sure he would propose on Valentine's Day but he didn't! Why?" We will see on MM tomorrow.

But, they have never been shown that it's a requirement for a man to push the boat out for Valentine's Day

Is that because your husband doesn't for you? Is that why you are bitter?

Not sure why being able to buy a card and clean a bathroom are mutually exclusive things? My husband can do both - maybe I've not been giving him enough credit.

Disclaimer: really couldn't give a shit about Valentines Day but if someone is buying me chocolates I'm certainly not turning them away...

Your sons know how to cook and clean a bathroom? Presumably they eat and sh*t so why is this worth bragging about?

Maybe their both gay so they'll have an amazing Valentine's day. You're a bit of a pick me OP

As Blanche Devereux would say, Don't you get a nosebleed by taking the high road all of the time?

All the stuff you've taught your sons; being kind, cooking, cleaning etc.....is that not just basic parenting? If you'd had daughters wouldn't you have taught them the same things? Probably, but you wouldn't have expected a parade in your honour just for doing so.

Valentine's day is for both sexes to show their love if they choose to celebrate it. Many don't which is fine. My partner and I get each other a card with a nice message and usually a token gift. Nothing to do with being a man.