I've realised today that I've raised boys who will be terrible partners

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They kind, funny and caring. They know how to cook and clean the bathroom. They couldnt identify pink or blue jobs. Theyre looking like they might actually hace decent careers. They've seem both their mother and father be the primary homemaker/child carer at various times because of differing work and study commitments. They've (mostly!) seen a marriage built around mutual care and respect.

But, they have never been shown that it's a requirement for a man to push the boat out for Valentine's Day. I didn't realise how important some women think that is or how upset they get when it doesn't happen. I had no idea it was even celebrated within a marriage , let alone taken so seriously.

They're going to be very disappointing spouses

Am I missing the point??

Yes.

I agree with WinterfellWench.

It seems to me that the people who REALLY care about that one important day of the year that their partner shows them materialistic
love because they feel they have to are probably the same pretentious people who overspend at christmas to show their kids they care!
It's about all year round gestures !!!

Can your sons think for themselves? Are they able to communicate with their partners? Are they still attached to your umbilical cord?
If your raising of them is as good as you claim then I’m sure they’ll be able to work out, independently of you, what their partner would like, or not, on Valentine’s Day.

Agree with SilverBirchTree.

It's not the celebrating of Valentine's Day, it's the way it's all on the man shoulders.

I haven't rtft yet as I got to this post by Op and had to respond immediately.

Bullish*t. What century do you think we're in? Most couples I know including myself and previous partners both men and women contribute to making Valentine's special. I know of times when I cooked extra special dinner, candles, decorations, card and present and it took time and effort from me when my boyfriend just needed to turn up. I've had friends who they and their dh/p don't celebrate Valentine's Day but do romantic and thoughtful things for each other throughout the year. Then I've come across men who treat their dw/g like crap and they usually have misogynistic mothers interfering in their romantic relationships. Hope that's not you Op.

Yes, the poor menz. They has it sooo hard :(

In these days of sexual equality, surely buying flowers for ones dear wife or dear girlfriend, is completely wrong??

Lol.

It's a joke. Gosh everybody. For valentines day, I would like to give you the gift, if you want it, of realising that it's your decision whether to be offended or not :shrug:

I thought OP was tongue in cheek ie light hearted

I never taught my DS to bother with valentines day either. I can’t be bothered with the commercial crap.

He bought her a lovely present anyway and is taking her to Edinburgh this weekend.

I don’t get why it’s your responsibility to manage your DS’ preferences for celebration.

I read it as a self congratulatory post tbh. A lol one.

My boys/menz know to put the toilet seat up but they've never seen Papa buy me flowers for Valentine's day.
My boys/menz have seen Papa cook dinner. And not just on Valentine's day.

It's a crap op. Her DIL's had better not have any romantic notions in their pretty little heads. They should be just like Mama.

@Monty27 - I read it as tongue in cheek too ! Op was joking surely ?

😄

Slightly amused that Valentine’s Day is being abbreviated to VD. That usually has completely different connotations!

Go you.

Oh no. Another case where it seems the OP forgot to put "lighthearted" as a warning.

What a breath of fresh air you are! It's a tacky day, another reason to con people out of £££ and it DOES (in most cases) fall on the man's shoulders, especially on mumsnet. My sons will be the same I'm sure as neither myself or DH believe in it. What have you all got your DH's/partners for Valentine's day?

What a horrible post.
I don't know any women who expect their male partners to 'do' valentine's in the way you describe. If it's celebrated then it's a mutual thing.

I really, really hate this trend of looking down on people who chose to celebrate occasions. Expect a birthday present? You're spoilt. Celebrate Christmas, valentine's Day, etc - then you're buying into commercialised, forced holidays.....

If you chose not to celebrate then fine but don't look down on those that do. You just sound superior.

I can't see anything wrong with taking the time out to tell someone you love them.

jelly I got my DH a card and a present just like every year. He's got me the same. What's your point?

What a load of bollocks OP.

We don’t bother with valentines. It doesn’t make me superior to those who do enjoy it. It doesn’t make me inferior. It just makes me different.

Fucks sake

My dh is quite romantic but Valentines is a very minor event in this house. A card each and sometimes a tiny present like a book or flowers but that’s it. We used to make more of a deal of it when we were younger but don’t bother going out for a meal and over paying because of what night it is. I will be teaching my son (who shares all the qualities your sons do) that a small romantic gesture will go a long way to making someone feel loved but that it is worthless without the back up of all the important stuff. I will also teach him that some people can be hurt by a lack of effort or thoughtlessness. Tbh because of all the important stuff I have taught him, I think he will work this out for himself as hopefully your sons will. FWIW my parents have been married for 45yrs and still exchange Valentine’s Day cards.

I love Valentine’s Day - I own a shop and between 5pm-6pm last night I sold 6 bottles of emergency gin 😊