I've realised today that I've raised boys who will be terrible partners

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They kind, funny and caring. They know how to cook and clean the bathroom. They couldnt identify pink or blue jobs. Theyre looking like they might actually hace decent careers. They've seem both their mother and father be the primary homemaker/child carer at various times because of differing work and study commitments. They've (mostly!) seen a marriage built around mutual care and respect.

But, they have never been shown that it's a requirement for a man to push the boat out for Valentine's Day. I didn't realise how important some women think that is or how upset they get when it doesn't happen. I had no idea it was even celebrated within a marriage , let alone taken so seriously.

They're going to be very disappointing spouses

I don't think it has to be all on the man's shoulders,I buy my DH a card and a present and he buy's me a Card and usually a few presents(he's much better at the romance stuff than I am but I make up for it in other ways)my Dad was always much better than my Mum at the romantic gestures,he always bought my Mum a lovely gift and card for Valentines Day and he always bought me a card and present and when I got a bit older he'd post them so I didn't know they were from him(I always knew and he's passed away now but I never told him I knew )but my Mum always bought my Dad a card and a present as well on Valentines day.

I think everyone has different expectations when they go into a relationship,I've raised my DC to know that and they know that if you love someone you bend a little,so if they're not really into Valentines Day but they're OH is it's easy enough to buy a card and a gift or send them flowers it doesn't take much but it's a very loving and thoughtful thing to do for your OH if it means alot to them then why not.

@LeSquigh

What a smug, virtue-signalling and also inaccurate thread. If there is one thing that MN certainly shows us, it's that women rather than men are the ones who much more reliably put in the effort with thoughtful cards, presents and treatment on special occasions. Many people don't bother with Valentine's Day at all, but most couples who do bother seem to do reciprocal stuff, not lay the burden on the male partner.

Oh ffs

'They couldn't identify pink and blue jobs'.
Eh?

If they are decent men when they grow up, they’ll have the sensitivity to know whether Valentines is important to their partner or not.

Hope they manage to evolve up out of the smug gene

i’ve somehow interpreted ops post differently, Ie. Op has raised decent young men, but forgot/neglected to teach them how to be romantic. That’s all I deduced from the op.

OP here’s hoping they’ve not learnt how to be horribly smug and sneer down at others from their high horses.

Or yes, they will be very disappointing spouses. Oh the shame 😱😱

Very annoying postb🤮🤮

The OP is surely taking the piss isn’t she? In response to all the comments on here about Valentines expectations? That’s how I read it, I don’t think she is serious!

No she's not being serious. That's what makes it a bit cringey. Chuckling wryly that they've raised such right on sons who'll surely disappoint a future partner by not knowing sexist Valentine's Day traditions.

I don’t disagree with you there! But.. that’s horrible, no?!

This is why I love MN.

My parents have been married 52 years very happily. Horribly gendered in the main (although my father is happy to cook and clean when required ie when my mother isn’t around)
Neither have done anything for Valentines, Birthdays or Christmas for as long as I can remember...do I win?

Thats what i thought suigh

I doubt the OP will do it again!

God, you must be an absolute miserable bore to live with

Vomit.

Big assumption that all of your sons are heterosexual OP?
Did you not tell them about same sex relationships?

It’s all a bit Peggy Mitchellish isn’t it?? I’m embarrassed for the OP tbh.

WTF? 😂

Why is everyone saying it’s a male poster? The vast majority of the women I am friendly with think VD is a big con and rip off. It’s not exactly Christmas or a birthday, anniversary

Yeah but its a myth that men and women are the same. Both sexes have a role to play. I am sure your boys will be fine if you teach them to be men rather than confusing them.

Valentine’s Day is great.

I think it's funny tbh.
If it makes people happy what's the problem.
It is annoying that some women call it My valentines and expect the men to do something for them, rather than them doing something for the man
The funniest thing is how it has evolved into nothing/ the complete opposite of what it was intended.

I would make an effort if it was important to them despite my own ambivalence but it’s not important for those I know. They mostly say it’s a con and you’re better off doing something the week before or after or you shouldn’t need an excuse to show your affection in the first place. I would do it off my own bat but seemsi insincere if you’re only doing because you feel obligated and Clinton Cards have pressured you in to it

If you haven't taught your sons to take their partners' feelings into account rather than your's then you're right, you have raised boys who'll be terrible partners.

I can’t be doing with the nonsense either. Happily DH feels the same. It works for us.