I've realised today that I've raised boys who will be terrible partners

[Bestseller]

They kind, funny and caring. They know how to cook and clean the bathroom. They couldnt identify pink or blue jobs. Theyre looking like they might actually hace decent careers. They've seem both their mother and father be the primary homemaker/child carer at various times because of differing work and study commitments. They've (mostly!) seen a marriage built around mutual care and respect.

But, they have never been shown that it's a requirement for a man to push the boat out for Valentine's Day. I didn't realise how important some women think that is or how upset they get when it doesn't happen. I had no idea it was even celebrated within a marriage , let alone taken so seriously.

They're going to be very disappointing spouses

OP your sons sound lovely. Your post sounds smug and snide. Why not just say you despise women who expect something on V-day? You didn’t have to drag your sons into it.

Blue job? Pink job? Wossat den?

The expectation / modern outlook of VD being something that men should do for the woman is the reason why some bloke (has to be a man) invented Steak and Blowjob Day. Top trolling though! Take a bow my son

I don’t think the spouses will be disappointed with your boys but I don’t think they enjoy being around their mil very much hmm

that did make me laugh.

I'm really sorry for you op, that your husband obviously doesn't take the opportunity to spoil you, and show how much he loves you, on Valentine's day.

Oh god you're going to be one of those mother in law's aren't you? "Of course you don't need to help with night feeds my darling boy, you already do the washing up, make sure she knows who's boss!"

Oy vey. How unpleasant. Time for a re think op.

Maybe the husband always spoils her? Better to be a loving partner than a cunt all year who puts a good VD in and everything is forgiven. I’m paranoid now reading the love for VD here as everyone I know in real life don’t expect anything more than a card and a token present like flowers or chocolates. It’s likely I’ve fell foul to one of those traps which people put in place saying don’t do x and you don’t do x and then you’ve failed

I shouldn't worry OP. It will all get sorted out when Steak And Blow Job Night comes around.

Your husband's probably boning his secretary.

Me and DH have got each other a Valentine's card AND gift for the 30 years we have been together. Most people we know do this, but there are a few people I know/have known over the years (always women!) who feel the need to be sarcastic and rude about couples who celebrate it.

I guess it's understandable, as they are bitter and angry and upset because they have never had any man buy them fuckall!

I usually get 'I don't need MY man buying me a card and gift for Valentine's day, I prefer to have a man who cares for me all year round.'

NEWSFLASH honey!!! Men who buy the partner/wife a card and gift for Valentine's Day are more likely to be a man who DOES show love all year round. The man who DOESN'T bother with Valentine's day, almost certainly doesn't bother much with thinking about you you the rest of the year.

So I'm sorry luv, but you admitting your man has not got you a Valentine's card, has just told me he doesn't give a shit about anything else all year round.

Not every woman WANTS a load of overpriced flowers that wilt the next day, or a box of chocolates or even a meal out in an over priced restaurant with crappy service/food because it's too busy.

And who says ANYone has to go for 'overpriced flowers' or a restaurant with crappy service/food blah blah.... A bunch of carnations for 3 quid and a box of maltesers that cost 2 quid, and a 50p card is fine.

Some people are trying to hard to convince themselves that they don't care.

Trying TOO hard (not to!)

V-day is such a rip off. Imho

To be honest i'd rather be treated right 365 days a year than one.
Doesnt have to be valentines to show you care!
Am I missing the point??

Ok then

We went shopping tonight and found it hilarious that men were all buying the same overpriced roses, err thanks love

Congratulations on stereotyping all women.

My parents didn’t celebrate V day but I remember my mum and her best mate writing cards out for each other’s DHs so they wouldn’t recognise the handwriting. Even through school it was always a secret admirer scenario.

Me and DH of 20 years did cards, pressies and meals out etc for V day before marriage and kids. He even proposed on V day but these days on the very rare occasion we get a babysitter we tend to go out when it’s not so busy.

I have sat and helped DDs 7 & 10 to make little shifts for a few of their friends. Asked DS11 if there was anyone he’d like to get or do something for but he said no.

So you’ve not taught your sons to think for themselves, just model everything you and DH do?

I’m filing this thread under “Humble brag” and moving on.

What response did you honestly expect from this thread, OP?

WinterfellWench, I completely agree with your post 100%!!!!!

My DH spoils the heck out of me, not just on Valentines! And, it's not just flowers that wilt either. It's mostly jewelry. But, he's getting a nice watch this year, so it's not just me. The people who say it's just a hallmark holiday are usually the ones who are jealous and wish their partners would spoil them. I should know. I used to be that way. Because ,I dated someone "who didn't believe in Valentines Day just so he could prove that he loved me". It was just an excuse not to buy or make me anything. It wasn't until I started dating men who truly doted on me did I realize there was a difference. You and I both know, people who say it doesn't mean anything, are just eating just sour grapes. Plain and simple.

There probably are women out there that are bitter and feel hard done by to not receive something on VD, but there usually women who are not appreciated on a daily basis.
I 100% don't feel I need supermarket flowers and a cheap card one day a year to know i'm loved and appreciated, we've been together 25 years !

@Bestseller you should take a short break from congratulating yourself on your superiority to other women and google love languages. If you're raising your sons to be dismissive and condescending about harmless things that might be important to their partner then you're not raising respectful good partners.

I say that as a happily married person who has never celebrated Valentine's Day, nor wished to. But if it was important to my partner, I'd be a sport about it.